08/23/2026
Overfunctioning can look a lot like love.
You anticipate. You accommodate. You explain. You soften your feelings before you share them. You notice the shift in their tone and immediately start thinking about how to make things okay again.
And somewhere in all of that attention to the other person, it can become surprisingly easy to lose track of yourself.
Before you explain, fix, reassure, or smooth things over, get curious:
What am I feeling right now?
What did I need before I started thinking about what they needed?
Am I saying what I actually mean, or am I making it easier for them to hear?
What would happen if I let them have their feelings without immediately trying to change them?
Healthy relationships make room for two people’s internal worlds. You can care deeply about someone’s experience without disappearing from your own.
Sometimes the work is simply learning to stay with yourself, too. It takes time and practice, but ultimately brings so much freedom. ❤️🩹