Chris Tompkins

06/02/2026

Do you struggle to communicate, or even identify, your wants and needs?

Do you know the difference between a want and a need?

My latest article on Psychology Today explores something that matters for all of us, and especially for many gay men.

Grateful it was selected as an Essential Read! Read more, and share with anyone it might benefit👇🏼
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lgbtq-affirmative-psychology/202606/what-bartending-taught-me-about-wants-and-needs

05/29/2026

In case you missed it!

I had no idea my latest article on Elephant Journal would resonate with as many people as it has. It's gaining a lot of traction and I'm in 7th place for this month's Ecosystem contest.

Please give it a read and heart, share, or boost it on Elephant Journal. Would be great to make it to the top three this weekend!

Check out why cleaning up our negative thinking is the most spiritual thing we can do👇🏼
https://www.elephantjournal.com/2026/05/why-cleaning-up-our-negative-thinking-is-the-most-spiritual-thing-we-can-do-chris-tompkins/

How to create more space for love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control to enter our lives:

Find the article link in the comments 👇🏽

05/25/2026

I’m excited to share my latest article featured on Elephant Journal.

It was inspired by a conversation I had while I was in Tucson for my nephew’s college graduation.

I think it can help a lot of people and is something I’ve been incorporating in my therapeutic work with clients.

I think it can help you too ♥️

Check it out and share with anyone it can benefit👇🏼

"Most of us walk around believing that the critical, fearful, or self-defeating thoughts in our heads are just the truth about who we are or what our lives will be. We don’t stop to question them."

Article link in comments. 👇

05/15/2026

Even people who seem to have it all on the outside still question their worth. Struggling with self-worth isn't unique to gay men. It's part of what makes us human.

And it affects gay men in a particular way. That can look like anxiety, loneliness, struggling in relationships, your relationship with substances, or shame around s*x.

Regardless of the symptom, many of us have a wounded boy inside.

I wrote about this in my latest Psychology Today article. If you're ready to go deeper, I work with gay men who are ready to stop letting their unhealed inner world run the show.

Link below to schedule a consultation👇🏼
https://linktr.ee/aroadtriptolove

05/13/2026

I've learned from my clients, my friends, my own life, and from years working around a lot of successful, good-looking, and physically fit men at a popular gay bar in West Hollywood, the epicenter of gay culture in Los Angeles, that self-worth built on the external doesn't last.

Even people who seem to have it all on the outside still question their worth. Struggling with self-worth isn't rare. It's part of what makes us human.

My latest article for Psychology Today explores a pattern I see in gay men and was inspired by a quote from Nobody Wants This.

If you've ever stayed in a situation longer than you should have, this one's for you👇🏼

Personal Perspective: A quote from 'Nobody Wants This' made me look at my relationships in an entirely new way.

04/23/2026

Many gay men know shame and are familiar with hiding.

Most of my clients can tell me they've had a close and personal relationship with shame. So much so, it's created negative consequences in their lives — in their relationships, s*x lives, even professionally.

What often goes unrecognized is everything else.

Check out my latest article featured as an Essential Read on Psychology Today about what we often misunderstand about Jung's Shadow👇🏼

For many gay men, shame is already conscious. What often goes unrecognized is everything else.

04/08/2026

I’ve known and worked with many survivors of conversion therapy.

I write about its consequences in my book, Raising LGBTQ Allies, and what’s so disheartening to me is that I’m revisiting some of the same conversations I had about it five years ago.

My latest article for Psychology Today was selected as an Essential Read, and while I’m grateful to have a platform to weigh in on the conversation from both a clinical and personal perspective, it can feel exhausting to still be having it.

Now more than ever, talking about its consequences matters.

Link below for the full article. Please share with anyone who may benefit👇🏼

The Supreme Court just put conversion therapy bans at risk across the country. Here's what a therapist who has worked with survivors wants you to know.

03/24/2026

People-pleasing is common in my work with gay men, and something I've navigated in my own life.

The more I started to explore people-pleasing, the more I realized it's the result of a vow we make when we're very young.

If you've ever wondered why you tend to people-please and you want to learn more about vows, check out my latest article on Psychology Today.

It's also a topic I explore in depth in my forthcoming book, Becoming Worthy.

Link below to read more, and stay tuned for book updates…👇🏼
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lgbtq-affirmative-psychology/202603/why-gay-men-people-please

03/06/2026

The male gayzed is a term I coined inspired by feminist film critic Laura Mulvey’s concept of the male gaze, the idea that visual media has historically depicted women as objects of desire while men do the looking.

For gay men, something similar happens within our own community. The male gayzed, past tense, because it’s something that has been done to us.

It causes us to measure our worth by how closely we match narrow standards of attractiveness, masculinity, and physical perfection, and to view our own bodies through a distorted lens.

I wrote about it recently in Psychology Today and it’s a concept I explore in depth in my forthcoming book, Becoming Worthy.

Link below for the article, and stay tuned for updates about Becoming Worthy… ✍🏼😊👇🏼
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lgbtq-affirmative-psychology/202602/why-do-so-many-gay-men-hate-their-bodies

03/01/2026

Something that feels almost universal among gay men is body image.

I don't think I've ever met a single gay man who hasn't, at some point, struggled with how he sees his body.

There are many reasons for increased rates of body image challenges among gay men, but one of them is something I call the male gayzed.

What is the male gayzed?

And how does it inform the way gay men learn to see themselves?

I explore all of this in my latest article for Psychology Today, which was just selected as an Essential Read.

Check it out and please share with anyone who can benefit👇🏼

Gay men face unique pressures around body image. Understanding the "male gayzed" is the first step toward healing shame and seeing ourselves differently.