Chris Tompkins

Chris Tompkins Contact information, map and directions, contact form, opening hours, services, ratings, photos, videos and announcements from Chris Tompkins, Therapist, West Hollywood, CA.

Founder, A Road Trip to Love Therapy
Therapist for gay men • Author • Speaker
Helping you heal shame and reclaim worth
Free consult ⬇️
https://linktr.ee/aroadtriptolove

External homophobia is easier to recognize, but the ways we've internalized it are more nuanced and less understood.Ofte...
08/31/2026

External homophobia is easier to recognize, but the ways we've internalized it are more nuanced and less understood.

Often viewed as something bad, my latest article for Psychology Today, featured as an Essential Read, explores what we get wrong about a common defense mechanism many gay men have.

My intention in writing it is to bring more awareness to how, when viewed as a defense mechanism, we can understand parts of ourselves we may not have wanted to see.

Read the full article and share with anyone it could be of benefit👇🏼
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lgbtq-affirmative-psychology/202608/what-we-get-wrong-about-internalized-homophobia

I believe that when we can’t stop thinking about an idea or project, like a career, a move, making a change, or starting...
08/27/2026

I believe that when we can’t stop thinking about an idea or project, like a career, a move, making a change, or starting a family, it’s because it’s been placed on our hearts for a reason.

Whether we call the source God, Love, our intuition, the Universe, the Divine, or a Higher Power, what we’re inspired by and can’t stop thinking about is part of our purpose.

We’re being called toward something, we’re the vessel, and our work is to tune our instrument so that the idea can express itself.

Meaning we need to take care of our whole selves: body, mind, and spirit.

Keep following your heart, listen for guidance, get outside for a walk and move your body today, and allow your passion to become your purpose ✨

Did you know that the word sarcasm comes from the Greek sarkasmos, which literally means “tearing of flesh”?Among gay me...
08/24/2026

Did you know that the word sarcasm comes from the Greek sarkasmos, which literally means “tearing of flesh”?

Among gay men, sarcasm is everywhere. It’s practically a dialect, as common as the air we breathe, and reading, the art of the clever insult, has long been part of ballroom and drag culture.

In my book, Becoming Worthy, I explore how sarcasm can also function as a defensive shield.

When we learn early to hide parts of ourselves, sarcasm can become a way of keeping people at arm’s length and protecting ourselves from vulnerability and intimacy.

We often use sarcasm to deflect from conversations that feel too uncomfortable or to avoid the possibility that someone might see something in us we still secretly believe is unlovable.

I’m not suggesting that every sarcastic comment is internalized homophobia. But when shame is chronic and internalized, it affects more than just how we see ourselves.

It can lead us to project our unhealed and unconscious shame onto other gay men.

The next time you find yourself making a sarcastic comment, I invite you to pay attention to what’s going on underneath. Are you using it as a defensive shield?

In my experience as a gay man and a therapist who works with them, we often feel the need to work harder than our straig...
08/14/2026

In my experience as a gay man and a therapist who works with them, we often feel the need to work harder than our straight peers.

It’s not uncommon for us to undercharge for our services.

In relationships, whether professional or with family and friends, we tend to give more than we receive.

One of the things I explore in my book, Becoming Worthy, is our relationship with receptivity and how our worth affects our ability to receive.

Let me ask:

Do you find yourself over giving in relationships or at work?

Is it hard for you to receive a compliment?

Do you worry that you take up too much space?

The good news is that once we’re aware, we cannot become unaware.

We can choose to ignore what we’ve been made aware of, but we cannot truly become unaware of something once it’s in our consciousness.

What I’ve learned from my own life is that nothing is ever brought into my awareness that I’m not ready to either change or help change.

If you’re reading this, my invitation for you is to notice what it’s like for you to receive. Pay attention to how it feels and what you do in response. Is it easy, or do you immediately try to deflect or downplay the gift, compliment, or gesture?

This is my invitation for gay men as we consciously walk the Becoming Worthy path.

Inspired by a few conversations I've had lately, I wrote my latest article to highlight what often gets overlooked when ...
08/13/2026

Inspired by a few conversations I've had lately, I wrote my latest article to highlight what often gets overlooked when we talk about sobriety and addiction.

There are many ways to get sober, but there are common factors that contribute to why we drink and use.

Read more and share with anyone it could benefit👇🏼
https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/3-questions-that-helped-me-quit-drinking-kpkn/

And if you’re sober curious or interested in exploring your relationship to substances, schedule a free therapy consultation:
https://chris-tompkins.clientsecure.me

Working on a dream, goal, or project?Have an idea that both excites and scares you?If you’re seeing this today, let it b...
08/06/2026

Working on a dream, goal, or project?

Have an idea that both excites and scares you?

If you’re seeing this today, let it be your reminder to keep going.

Following a dream isn’t always easy. In fact, it can be one of the most challenging things we do.

Nobody calls it the “relaxation journey.” It’s called the hero’s journey and it’s what you embark on whenever you answer your calling.

It requires you to face your demons, sometimes metaphorical and sometimes actual.

Keep up the good fight and trust that all is working out in your highest good, despite appearances.

And in the process, “Demonstrate a positive attitude as you strive for great things and take care to create a supportive environment around you that amplifies your motivation.” ~ Brendon Burchard

07/31/2026

This is a big conversation and there are certainly more nuances to consider.

But any coping mechanism serves a function.

When we recognize that something we do creates negative consequences and continue doing it any way, there’s more to consider that can help remove guilt or shame.

My latest article on Psychology Today was inspired by a conversation with a friend.He's not alone in his experience. In ...
07/26/2026

My latest article on Psychology Today was inspired by a conversation with a friend.

He's not alone in his experience. In fact, it's happened to me too.

It inspired me to explore the conversation more, so much so that I even wrote a book about it!

Although Becoming Worthy won’t be out until 2027, I'll be sharing about it here more and more.

One of the things I've learned in publishing a book is that the publisher's job is to help get your book on the shelf, and the author's job is to get it off!

It takes a lot to get a book out into the world, so I'd love your support in creating momentum for Becoming Worthy by:

Sharing this article with someone it could benefit.

Subscribing to my PT email list for future articles (there's a subscribe box inside the article).

If the article resonates, I’d love to hear your experience in the comments below.

Link in below for the full article👇🏼

Thank you for reading, for sharing, and for your support!

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lgbtq-affirmative-psychology/202607/gay-men-and-self-worth-beyond-visibility-and-pride

My latest article on Psychology Today was inspired by a conversation with a friend.He’s not alone in his experience. In ...
07/26/2026

My latest article on Psychology Today was inspired by a conversation with a friend.

He’s not alone in his experience. In fact, it’s happened to me too.

It inspired me to explore the conversation more, so much so that I even wrote a book about it!

Although Becoming Worthy won’t be out until 2027, I’ll be sharing about it here more and more.

One of the things I’ve learned in publishing a book is that the publisher’s job is to help get your book on the shelf, and the author’s job is to get it off!

It takes a lot to get a book out into the world, so I’d love your support in creating momentum for Becoming Worthy by:

Sharing this article with someone it could benefit.

Subscribing to my PT email list for future articles (there’s a subscribe box inside the article).

If the article resonates, I’d love to hear your experience in the comments below.

Link in bio for the full article: Chris Tompkins | Author & Therapist for Gay Men

Thank you for reading, for sharing, and for your support! ♥️

07/24/2026

After my first book came out, people often asked me whether I was going to write another one and I would always say no.

Writing a book is hard and I didn’t think I was going to write another one.

Fast forward two years, and a prayer I placed inside my God box (one of my favorite spiritual tools that I even write about in my upcoming book) is now my second book, Becoming Worthy, coming in 2027.

If you have an idea, a fear, or something you need support with, try your own version of a God box and see what unfolds 😉

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90038, 90046, 90048, 90069

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