Unfilteredd: Narcissistic Abuse

Unfilteredd: Narcissistic Abuse If you need someone to talk to, you can always DM me or sign up for a free session.
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My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse ❤️‍🩹
https://unfilteredd.net/support/

06/04/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

This is called sleep deprivation.

It's when someone intentionally prevents you from getting enough sleep.

And it's abuse.

When I say this on my other accounts, I get a lot of comments like:

“Oh you're napping in the middle of the day,’ or 'Oh so we have to be quiet when you're sleeping.”

Just a lot of stuff that would make you think, “huh, maybe calling it abuse is too much.”

But just so you know...

Deliberate sleep deprivation is universally recognized by international bodies, human rights organizations, and medical experts as a form of torture and cruel, inhuman, or degrading treatment.

So if you're going through this with the narcissist in your life, please know that it is not even remotely okay and you have every right to call it abuse.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we're here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

06/02/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

It’s very important to note that the inability to separate "I did something bad" from "I am bad" IS NOT unique to narcissists.

A lot of people struggle with this. People with trauma, anxiety, depression, perfectionism, or insecure attachment can all get stuck in that loop.

What makes it cross into narcissist territory is what happens next.

A healthy person who feels this shame might think, "I feel horrible right now, but I still need to own what I did." They sit with the shame and take accountability anyway.

Narcissists can't do that.

So instead of sitting with the shame, they try to get rid of it as fast as possible.

They blame you. They deny it happened. They project it onto someone else.

They rewrite the story so they're the victim. They attack you for bringing it up.

Anything to keep from sitting with the feeling that they did something wrong.

Because for them, doing something wrong is the same as BEING something wrong.

If you have someone in your life like this and need someone to talk to about it, , you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we're here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

06/01/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

I think the most important thing to take from this video is that the "bricks" they keep throwing into your bag aren't yours to carry.

That tension you feel when they walk into a room, that anxiety in your chest when you hear them banging around, that knot in your stomach when you don't know what mood they're in...

None of it started inside you, it got handed to you.

Which means you're in full control of whether you continue holding it or put it down.

It isn't easy, it takes time to learn how to let go, but it's possible.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we're here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

05/27/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

What's happening here is something narcissistic people do a lot.

They take a simple thing you're saying and twist it into something else.

Look at what I actually said. "I just want you to let me finish my sentence."

That's it. That's the whole point. It's clear, it's small, it's easy to understand.

But he doesn't engage with that.

Instead, he turns it into "so I'm not allowed to change the subject?"

Then into "have I not been listening this whole time?"

And just like that, we're not talking about my original point anymore.

I'm now defending things I never even said.

He does this because if he actually addressed my point, he'd have to take responsibility for what he has done.

And narcissistic people hate doing this because they're all about appearances.

They want everyone to see them as the perfect spouse, parent, sibling, etc.

So they avoid accountability like it's the plague to protect that image.

If you can relate to this at all and need someone to talk to about it, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we're here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

05/26/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

This kind of "training" happens through repetition.

At first, the harm comes from them. They criticize you. They shame you. They mock you. They dismiss your feelings. They make you feel unsafe just for being human.

So your brain starts trying to protect you, and one of the ways it tries is by attacking you before they can, because then maybe they won't, if you've already done it yourself.

So the voice slowly shifts from them to you.

You call yourself stupid before they get the chance. You feel ashamed of your feelings before they can shame you for them. You silence yourself before they have to.

And that's the training. They don't need to be in the room anymore, because the voice is yours now. It keeps going long after they're gone.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we're here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

05/14/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

I think the easiest way to understand what's going on here is to imagine a spotlight.

When you say something like, "I'm so stressed out," the spotlight moves onto you.

This is a big problem because narcissistic people think it should be on them at all times.

So instead of empathizing with you, they try to pull the light back onto themselves.

One of the ways they do this is by saying things like:

- “You don't even know what stress is."
- “My life is way harder than yours.”
- “You're being dramatic."

It doesn't matter the circumstances. The two of you could be going through the exact same thing, their feelings always have to be better or worse than yours.

Because in their world…

There's only room for one person to be in the light, and it's not going to be you.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we're here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

05/13/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

If you can relate to this, here are 5 things I'd recommend focusing on as you work to make your life feel safe again.

1. Get away from them.

Your body can't calm down while the threat is still nearby.

So the first step is creating distance.

The more space you create between you and them, the sooner your body can start to settle.

2. Stop pushing yourself.

When you start to feel better, your instinct might be to catch up on everything you've fallen behind on. Try not to.

That almost always leads to a bigger crash a few days later.

Instead, pick one small task each day and stop there.

The goal here is to learn how to rest before you're exhausted, not after.

This isn’t you being lazy.

It’s you showing your body that you'll take care of it before it has to force you to.

3. Give your body small signs it's safe.

A sense of safety isn't built on one good day.

It's built on small, repeated signals that things are okay.

So try picking three or four simple safety building activities and doing them every day.

Take 10 slow, long exhales right after you wake up.

Go for a 10-minute walk outside, every day.

Take a warm shower or bath in the evening.

This can help your nervous system learn it's no longer in danger.

4. Find a trauma-informed therapist.

If you can, look for someone trained in approaches like EMDR, somatic therapy, or trauma-focused CBT.

If cost is a concern, you can use directories like Psychology Today to filter by sliding scale, or look into local support groups, group therapy, or telehealth options.

5. See a doctor.

Trauma can cause chronic fatigue, but other things can too.

So make an appointment, share what you've been experiencing, and ask your doctor to look into possible medical causes.

There may be something physical making the fatigue worse, and it's worth ruling out so you know what you're working with.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or book a session with me by visiting my page.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we're here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

05/12/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

Have you ever lost it on someone who was hurting you?

Did you feel really guilty about it afterward?

If so, you're not alone.

It's got to be one of the most common things people ask me about.

“Are you sure I’m not the narcissist?”

Here's one way I like to explain it.

Imagine you're in a house with someone.

They light a match and catch the place on fire.

You have nowhere to go, so you end up catching on fire too.

It's scary, it's painful, and you panic.

You start running around, trying to put yourself out.

And somewhere in the chaos, you accidentally run into the person who lit the fire.

And they fall into the flames and catch fire too.

Then they turn to you, burning, and scream "look what you did to me!"

That's reactive abuse.

You didn't start the fire.

You just caught on fire and were trying to survive it.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we're here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

05/10/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

If you're ever confused about why narcissists treat people the way they do, a good thing to remember is this.

When they feel bad internally, they immediately externalize it because they don't know how to regulate.

So if they feel stressed, embarrassed, criticized, overwhelmed, or just angry about something completely unrelated, they often look for somewhere to put those feelings.

Usually unconsciously.

And it has nothing to do with who you are or something you did.

You're just the closest, safest, most available person around when they need a place to put it.

That's why it can feel so confusing.

You're thinking, "I didn't even do anything." And that's true.

But that anger was never really about you.

You were just happened to be nearby when they needed somewhere for the emotion to go.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we're here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

05/10/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

So why can this be considered abuse?

Your apology says:

"I did one bad thing."

But narcissists often turn it into:

"You are the bad thing."

This is a big problem.

Because if every apology you offer gets stretched into "you're the reason we have problems," over time, you start to believe it.

You start over-apologizing. You suppress your feelings. You become afraid to speak up.

You stop noticing their behavior because you're so focused on managing yours.

And little by little, the relationship (friends, family, romantic, etc) stops being two people with issues and becomes one broken person and one innocent victim.

That's the damaging part.

Because we build our sense of self through repeated interactions.

So when someone keeps responding to your apologies with "See? This proves you’re the problem," your brain starts to internalize it. "Maybe I really am the problem."

So the abuse isn't the way they responded to one apology.

The abuse is using your vulnerability, over and over, to make you carry the entire weight of the relationship.

Until you can't tell the difference between things you actually did wrong and things you were trained to take the blame for.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we're here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

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