David O Saenz, PhD, EdM, LLC- Licensed Psychologist

08/13/2026

After one of our sessions, a 12-year-old boy asked for a hug. As I held him, he whispered, “Can you take me home?” He held on much longer than other kids or adults typically did.

An elderly woman asked for a hug after each session. She, too, held on for a long time. One day she told me that the only human contact she had was this monthly hug.

Sometimes, a hug is more than a hug!

07/29/2026

07/05/2026

Claire and I had worked through the disagreement. We both understood each other's perspective, apologized where it was needed, and moved on.

At least that's what I thought.

Later that evening, she noticed I was still quiet.

"You're still thinking about it, aren't you?" she asked.

I said yes..

She didn't reopen the conversation or try to persuade me that everything was fine. She simply sat down next to me without speaking.

After a few minutes she said, "We solved the problem. That doesn't mean you're done feeling it."

She was right.

Sometimes loving someone is about noticing that the person beside you is hurting, even after the question has been settled, and just being a quiet presence to their pain.

06/10/2026

THE GPS THEORY OF SELF HELP: The quality of your life is often determined less by the mistakes you make and more by how quickly you recover from them.

Most people treat mistakes as evidence that something is wrong with them.

A GPS treats mistakes as information.

When you miss a turn, it doesn't criticize the driver or obsess over what happened. It simply recognizes reality and adjusts the route.

Resilient people are not those who never get off course. They are people who learn to recalibrate, adapt, and keep moving toward what matters.

The goal is not perfection. The goal is to become skilled at recalculating.

05/20/2026

THE REMOVAL PRINCIPLE: A seed already “knows” how to become a plant. The gardener doesn't inject life into it. He creates conditions where life can proceed. Sunlight, water, soil, space. Remove weeds. Remove rot. Remove suffocation. Remove bugs. Remove what chokes it!

That flips how most of us approach change. Most people believe improvement comes from:
• more pressure
• more control
• more motivation
• more force
• more optimization

People stagnate or become toxic for the same reasons plants do:
• stress
• fear
• chaos
• shame
• exhaustion
• bad environments
• constant criticism
• unhealthy relationships
• overcontrol

The gardener is not really a creator. He is an eliminator of obstacles. We operate in the same manner, the easiest way to grow is to reduce or elminate the obstacles we've created (fragile ego, need to be right, anger, control, shame, etc.).

The gardener and farmer understand what many people never do: You cannot force flourishing.

You can only cultivate the conditions that allow it —or create the conditions that poison it.

05/10/2026

I've been a migrant worker, a husband, a father, a teacher and so many other roles―but I've never been a son to a biological mother or father. To the many strong, independant, incredible "mother's" who raised me both in Mexico and the US, you are forever in my heart, in my breath and in my walk.

To Doña Consuelo who was my 1st mother in Los Fresnos, Chihuahua MX,, and to the other mothers who deeply touched me―Tias Enedina, Esther, Tomasa, Luz, and other mothers (whose names I've forgotten) who raised and shaped me from birth.

You were and still are a gift to me!

Lovingly,
David

05/03/2026

Mark Twain: “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”

You’re stuck behind someone fumbling with coupons.
5-year impact: none
Worth stressful day?

Petty online comment:
Someone leaves a snarky reply.
5-year impact: none
Your response:
Ignore or disengage.
Arguing is volunteering for frustration.

Borderline situations (apply judgment)
Work mistake
You send a sloppy email.
If trivial → fix and move on
If it affects credibility → address it directly

Response:
Act quickly, then stop emotional drag.

BOTTOM LINE
Most people don’t have a stress problem.
They have a filter problem.

They treat everything like it matters.
It doesn’t.
You’re not suffering from life.
You’re suffering from predictions that never cash out.
That’s where most people waste their bandwidth.

04/16/2026

If you’re mothering them, attraction dies. If you’re motivating them, you’re dragging a passenger.. You want self-governance: they run their life and are happy with it, regulate themselves, and follow through.

Not perfect—just accountable and self responsible. Anything less turns love into a job you never applied for.

Never carry someone else's water!

04/08/2026

What This Actually Means

Most people spend their lives saying:
“I don’t want this job”
“I don’t want to feel like this”
“I don’t want this relationship dynamic”

But they never answer the only question that matters: “Okay… so what DO you want?”

And because they don’t answer it, nothing changes.

What’s Really Going On? Your brain needs a target, not a complaint.
And when all you give it is:
what’s wrong
what’s frustrating
what you’re trying to avoid

…it has nowhere to go.

So you stay stuck in the same patterns, thinking you’re trying to escape them—when you’re actually rehearsing them.

The Straight Truth: You don’t get a different life by rejecting your current one. You get a different life by defining and moving toward a new one.

Bottom Line

Complaints keep you circling the problem. Clarity gives you somewhere to go.

Right now, the question isn’t:
“What do you not want anymore?”
It’s:
“What are you actually building?”

03/14/2026

THE LAW OF HOLES IS A BLUNT MESSAGE: WHEN YOU’RE IN A HOLE, STOP DIGGING BEFORE YOU MAKE IT DEEPER.
Most people don’t. Pride, fear, and momentum keep the shovel moving. We defend, argue, and push harder—anything but pause. Every swing deepens the problem, makes it worse.

The first act of wisdom isn’t solving the hole. It’s putting the shovel down. Only then can you look around and decide how to climb out.