05/12/2026
The first time I noticed the beauty of the leelawadee flowers was in Thailand 🌺
Their fresh floral scent filled the air as the blossoms fell from the trees, sprinkling the pathways below. After a Thai spa service, it was common to be served hot tea, a nourishing snack, and a single leelawadee flower.
I traveled there on a mission: to learn Thai massage and to grow as a person.
But when I arrived, I felt completely outside of my comfort zone. On the second day of training, I struggled mentally. I couldn’t stop thinking about my life back home. I was unable to focus on the task at hand and nothing seemed to click.
Then suddenly, it all came crashing down.
I stepped out of class in tears, overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy, shame, disappointment, and the relentless thought: “I can’t do this.” It felt like I was being cracked open and couldn’t fight the thoughts and feelings off.
So I walked.
The air was hot, the sun intense, and I was on the other side of the world from my home and everyone I loved. I felt totally alone in my suffering.
I stopped beneath the shade of a tree and caught the scent of something beautiful. I looked down and saw leelawadee flowers scattered all around my feet.
And in that humbling moment I realized… I was in Thailand 🇹🇭
I had flown around the world to live this experience. To learn, to grow, to challenge myself, and to prove to myself that I could do hard things.
And I already was doing it!
I closed my eyes, placed my hands over my heart, and breathed deeply. 🤍
That day taught me an important lesson: you cannot fill an already full cup. My mind was overflowing with worry, doubt, pressure, and expectations. I had to empty it before I could truly receive new experiences, knowledge, and growth.
So I changed my approach. Each morning I began meditating, bowing, and stretching before even making my coffee. Those small rituals first thing in the morning grounded me and shifted my mindset. I stopped chasing perfection and allowed myself to simply learn.
To simply be.
I learned I would be okay as long as I believed in myself. I stopped trying to prove I was worthy of the experience and allowed myself to receive it. 🙏
