06/16/2026
In sessions, children will play out what their parents think they never heard or witnessed. Children are highly perceptive and often acutely aware of tension, raised voices, and conflict in the home, even when adults think they are safely asleep.The idea that kids are shielded from adult conflict just because their bedroom doors are closed is a common misconception. In reality, children process their environment in several ways.
1. Heightened Senses: Children are remarkably attuned to changes in tone of voice, heavy footsteps, slammed doors, and tense body language. They can feel the emotional climate of a house even if they don't understand the specific words being said.
2. Neuroception of Safety: When parents argue, it disrupts a child's foundational sense of security. Kids often internalize this stress, which can manifest as sudden clinginess, sleep disruptions, or new behavioral problems.
3. Overactive Imaginations: Because children pick up on the fear and tension but lack the context to understand the adult problems causing it, their imaginations frequently fill in the gaps. This can lead to intense anxiety, nightmares, or deep-seated fears of the dark.
4. Silent Observation: Many children lie awake silently listening to fights, absorbing the trauma without showing their fear in the moment to avoid drawing attention to themselves.
I don't know how many times something has revealed itself in the playroom and the parent is absolutely astonished that the child picked up on it.
