04/17/2021
Can we talk about generational trauma for a moment? My Pawpaw and Mawmaw (my great-grandparents) were the ONLY family members I had growing up who never got a divorce, with the exception of one of their daughters (my great aunt and uncle), and her son (my 2nd cousin and his wife). That means growing up, I had three examples (of white people who all lived more than 1 hour away from me) of what a lifelong partnership could look like in my family. They were all excellent examples of what it takes to avoid the trauma of divorce, but they were so few and far between that for a long time, I struggled to imagine how I might avoid what my other 22+ aunts/uncles/cousins/family members experienced through the pain of divorce. No wonder I was driven to become a licensed marriage and family therapist, right?
The truth is, being EXPOSED to what I wanted gave me HOPE that it was possible for me. I met people who shared the same values and I kept those people in my corner... now I don't fear the trauma that most of my family experienced... instead, I know how to live differently than the majority did, in order to get different results than the majority. My trauma is not to be compared to someone else's trauma, but to be understood and learned from, just like everyone else.
