Agnes Van Buren, MA

Agnes Van Buren, MA "Talking about it" does help. "My clients describe me as being easy to talk to as well as being "active" in their therapy sessions. "

Short or long term personalized bespoke therapy for anxiety, depression, relationship/communication issues, support for fertility issues and perinatal support. Unlike therapists who sit passively while the client talks, I participate in the sessions by asking questions and giving feedback.

08/09/2026

Kids getting stressed about going back to school? You too? Explore how controlled breathing can help the whole family. Box breathing can lower stress and calm the mind, an important thing for kids and adults.

08/03/2026

You cannot heal what you cannot name.

Many of us grew up learning to hide our emotions rather than understand them.

So we say we're "fine" when we feel overwhelmed. We call it "anger" when it's really hurt. We think we're "lazy" when we're exhausted. We push people away when what we really need is comfort.

The more accurately we can identify what we're feeling, the easier it becomes to understand ourselves, communicate with others, and make healthier choices. Naming emotions is not a small skill - it's one of the foundations of good mental health, strong relationships, and emotional resilience.

Imagine if every child grew up with the words to describe what was happening inside them. Imagine how many conflicts, misunderstandings, and silent struggles could be prevented.

Free HOW EMOTIONS SHOW UP WHEN… – FEELINGS WHEEL POSTER

LIKE the photo and comment "EMOTIONS" and we will send you a message with a link to a free PDF of this resource.

07/31/2026

Sometimes the hardest battle isn’t with the situation… it’s with the part of us that keeps saying, “This shouldn’t be happening.”

That’s where willingness vs wilfulness matters.

Wilfulness says:
“I refuse to accept this.”
“I’ll only move when things feel fair.”
“I’m stuck because this isn’t how it was supposed to go.”

Willingness says:
“I don’t have to like this to face it.”
“I can accept reality and still want change.”
“I can take one small step that helps me right now.”

Willingness isn’t giving up.
It isn’t pretending everything is fine.
It isn’t excusing what hurt you.

It’s choosing to stop fighting reality long enough to respond wisely.

You can feel anxious and still take the brave step.
You can be disappointed and still learn from it.
You can disagree and still listen.
You can feel unmotivated and still do one kind thing for yourself.
You can be hurt and still choose what helps you heal.

The shift is small, but powerful:

Pause.
Breathe.
Notice the resistance.
Turn gently toward acceptance.
Choose the next effective action.

You don’t need the perfect mood, perfect timing, or perfect confidence.

Sometimes healing starts with one quiet decision:

“I’m willing to do what works, even if this is hard.”

FREE WILLINGNESS VS WILFULNESS DBT SKILLS PDF

LIKE the photo and comment "WILLING" and we will send you a message with a link to a free PDF of this resource.

07/30/2026

Hope this helps 💙

07/21/2026

Sometimes the hardest part isn’t what happened.

It’s the endless fight with the fact that it happened.

Radical acceptance doesn’t mean you’re okay with the situation. It doesn’t mean you approve of it, excuse it, or give up. It means you stop pouring all your energy into arguing with reality and start using that energy to take care of yourself.

“This is happening.”
“I don’t like it, but I can face it.”
“I can feel hurt and still choose my next step.”

That shift can be powerful.

Because pain is real. Disappointment is real. Grief, stress, anger, and overwhelm are real. But when we add “this shouldn’t be happening” on repeat, the suffering gets heavier.

Acceptance is not weakness. It’s a coping skill. It’s emotional regulation. It’s choosing an effective response when life feels unfair, unwanted, or out of your control.

You can accept reality and still set boundaries.
You can accept reality and still want change.
You can accept reality and still be healing.

One breath. One honest moment. One next step.

FREE RADICAL ACCEPTANCE DBT HANDOUT FOR COPING SKILLS

LIKE the photo and comment "RADICAL" and we will send you a message with a link to a free PDF of this resource.

07/19/2026

Detachment isn't about giving up on people. It's about protecting your peace, respecting your boundaries, and letting go of what you can't control.

Learning healthy emotional detachment can help you reduce stress, break free from codependency, improve your mental health, and build stronger, healthier relationships. When you stop carrying the weight of everyone else's choices, you create space for your own healing and personal growth.

Here are 10 ways to practice healthy detachment and regain your emotional balance. Small changes can make a big difference in your recovery, relationships, and overall well-being.

Want to learn why detachment is one of the healthiest relationship skills you can develop?

📖 Read Relationship Tip: Why Detachment Empowers here:
https://reachoutrecovery.com/detachment-empowers/

💬 Which tip has helped you let go and find more peace?

07/19/2026

Honestly, I think naming the things you didn't actively make worse is its own kind of therapy.

Welcome to the THE ANTI- GRATITUDE JOURNAL™.

07/13/2026

Most people don't have a boundary problem. They have a follow-through problem.
You've said it. Maybe more than once. "Please don't talk to me that way." "I need you to stop." "I'm not okay with this." And then — nothing changed. So you said it again. And again. And somewhere along the way you started to believe that boundaries just don't work for you.

But here's the deal: a boundary you don't enforce isn't a boundary. It's a request.

And people who don't respect you aren't going to honor requests.

The hardest part about setting real boundaries, especially when you come from a home where having needs was punished, is that it requires you to tolerate someone else's discomfort. Their anger. Their guilt trips. Their silence. Their "you've changed" and "you're being difficult."

You also don't need their permission. A boundary doesn't require a debate. You don't have to justify it until they agree it's reasonable. You don't have to wait for them to understand before you enforce it.

You state it once, calmly. And then you do what you said you would do.
Not with anger. Not with a speech. Just quietly, consistently, every single time, until they learn that you mean what you say. Or until you learn that this relationship doesn't have room for the real you.

06/27/2026

Setting a boundary doesn’t mean you’re being difficult.

It means you’re learning to speak up before resentment builds.

So many people stay quiet because they don’t want to cause conflict… then end up feeling unheard, overwhelmed, or taken for granted.

A healthy boundary can sound simple:

“I’d like to finish what I was saying before we move on.”

“I’m not able to take that on right now.”

“I care about this conversation, but I need us to speak calmly.”

“I need some time to think before I answer.”

You don’t have to explain yourself for 20 minutes.
You don’t have to apologise for having needs.
You don’t have to raise your voice to be taken seriously.

Calm is not weakness.
Clear is not rude.
Respectful communication is still powerful.

The right people may need time to adjust, but they won’t punish you for being honest.

And if someone only liked you when you had no boundaries… that was never real peace. That was you disappearing to keep them comfortable.

FREE DEARMAN DBT METHOD FOR SETTING BOUNDARIES GUIDE PDF

LIKE the photo and comment "METHOD" and we will send you a message with a link to a free PDF of this resource.

06/22/2026

Overthinking feels productive because it tricks us into believing that if we think about something for long enough, we will find the perfect answer.

In reality, overthinking often does the opposite.

The more we replay conversations, analyse mistakes, imagine worst-case scenarios and question our decisions, the more anxious, overwhelmed and stuck we become.

A helpful question to ask yourself is:

"Am I solving a problem, or am I repeatedly thinking about the same problem?"

If there is something you can do, focus on the next small step.

If there is nothing you can do right now, give yourself permission to stop searching for answers that are not available today.

Overthinking rarely brings clarity. Taking action, accepting uncertainty and focusing on the present moment usually does.

Free OVERTHINKING LOOP STOP-PICK-STEP PRINTABLE PDF TOOL

LIKE the photo and comment "LOOP" and we will send you a message with a link to a free PDF of this resource.

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