Dr. Fae

09/01/2025

🌟Finding Meaning in a Global Life: An Existential Support Group 🌟

Are you feeling a bit lost or overwhelmed in the Foreign Service shuffle? You’re not alone. Many of us grapple with questions about purpose, identity, and what it means to truly live when you change jobs, houses, and communities every few years.

Join the new Online Existential Discussion Group—a safe space where you can explore these deep questions with others who “get it” over 6 weeks. This isn’t just another therapy session and it’s not a self-righteous one-up competition to see who is the most resilient; it’s a genuine gathering of individuals seeking to connect, share, and do something different together. The facilitator, dr. fae frederick, is a licensed psychologist and an EFM. She’s invested thousands of hours working with FS folks and expats and she’s bringing the most common themes from her clients' struggles to this group.

What to Expect:
🌟Exploring Life’s Big Questions: We’ll dive into the basics of existentialism and see how it connects to your own nomadic FS life, helping you face and embrace your search for meaning amongst the ever changing landscape.

🌟Staying True to Yourself: We’ll talk about what it really means to hold onto who you are while everything around you changes, and how to live authentically as who you are now, not who you were when you joined the service.

🌟Dealing with Anxiety and Uncertainty: Moving or going through big changes IS stressful. We'll talk about how to work with that anxiety when you can and how to sit with it when there’s nothing left to do about it - except maybe cry a little and get back to the PCS checklist.

🌟Finding Meaning Through Tough Times: We’ll explore how challenges, especially adjusting to new cultures, can lead to personal growth and new insights and how sometimes it just sucks. There will be NO gratitude journaling.

🌟Building Connections: We’ll discuss how to build strong networks, even if you're far from family and friends. Single serving friends have a place in our communities!

🌟Creating Your Own Purpose: Finally, we’ll look at practical ways you can bring more meaning into your life and make choices that reflect what truly matters to you. Well, we’ll get started with some plans and ideas at least - it’s just 6 weeks.

Insurance Coverage: This group is reimbursable by insurance, making it accessible for more of our community members. You will need to pay at the time of service and then submit your superbill to your insurance provider.

Confidentiality Matters: What’s shared in our group stays in our group, providing a secure environment for open dialogue. You can read more about this in the link below.

Interested in learning more? Additional information about confidentiality, risk to clearances (don’t worry there is none), cost, and a survey to share your available meeting time are all in here.

In today's fast-paced and often chaotic life, it’s common to feel a sense of disconnection or uncertainty about our purpose. Many of us grapple with profound questions about identity, meaning, and what it means to truly live, especially with added layers of frequent moves to different cultures. If...

09/10/2024

An upcoming resource for my Foreign Service folks.

Worried about retirement savings? Concerned about funding your child's college education? Whether you check your accounts obsessively or avoid them altogether, money can be a major source of stress.

Join EFMs Patrick Gaffney (Economist) and dr. fae frederick (licensed psychologist) for an insightful (and free) webinar on achieving financial health in the Foreign Service. Discover how your mindset about money affects your mental well-being and get practical tips and resources to ease your financial anxiety. Patrick and I have been talking about these pain points of our friends and clients for years and we've finally gotten our act together to offer some intersectional advice.

If there's interest, we’ll offer future seminars on retirement planning, college savings, home buying, and navigating bidding when differential pay is a factor.
Don’t miss out! Register through the Google form to secure your spot and share your feedback on preferred topics and times. A recording will be available for registrants for a limited time after the session.

https://forms.gle/Yw2Cw8LE7uRRfcQc9

We’re hosting this event in collaboration with Available Worldwide Network (AWN). AWN is a community-led platform providing professional development, personal connection, and social support for the partners of the US Foreign Service and other agencies serving at US Embassies, Consulates and Centers abroad. If you or someone you know is an EFM who could use some extra support (or any support) in career, accountability, or community, check out AWN. It’s less than $5/mo to join and it’s my favorite EFM community - I do a couple of free talks per year because everyone is so engaged and kind. You can learn more about them and everything they offer here https://availableworldwide.net/awn/

01/11/2023

I'm giving a brief workshop tomorrow at 11am ET for EFMs/MOHs who struggle to answer - or feel icky about answering - the classic "What do you do?" question. Feel free to join me for a bit of community, commiseration, and more than a few chuckles.
https://app.heartbeat.chat/availableworldwidenetwork/events/6B9ED9

There's also a ton of great workshops happening now until Saturday - all hosted by incredible EFMs/MOHs doing what we do best - being flexible and making the most of any circumstance. Check them out.

11/09/2023

02/01/2023

New Year, New Feelings? Not quite, as humans we always have lots of feelings, but some of us get so good at ignoring them, we can forget they are there. This has some pretty nasty consequences on our bodies and relationships. Check out this brief article about recognizing emotions can help you. Reach out to me if you think this is something you would like some help working on.

Even your minor emotions carry important messages from your body.

28/12/2022

Many of us use the new year to create new goals for ourselves. It’s only human to strive to be “better”. If resolutions seem to work for you, feel free to move along. However, if you usually lose steam on your changes by February, consider a different more purpose driven practice to creating change in your life. The best part, you don’t have to wait until January 1st to start. You can do this anytime you are ready for a change.

Dr. Fae, American psychologist and English speaking therapist who serves expats and those who are serving abroad writes about how to change resolutions into intentions, thus creating longer lasting change and reducing guilt and shame.

20/12/2022

Nothing like an article about one's inevitable decline to brighten the holiday spirit! In my world there's no bad time for a reminder that our lives are always changing and the more we adapt to where we are NOW, the better off we'll be. You are still a highly skilled and valuable person, even if you don't/can't work like you used to.

Much like contemplating death can neutralize the fear of it, it can help to acclimate yourself to the idea of losing professional skills before it happens.

14/12/2022

One cool thing about the Foreign Service and EFM world is that there are lots of cool people doing lots of cool things. I partnered up with Christine at DiploDash to provide some tips for the holidays. I love that they highlight women entrepreneurs and we both certainly agree on the mission that we generally want to make people's lives easier!

In our November newsletter, we focus on the upcoming holidays with tips centered around creating purposeful holidays. This month’s issue showcases fellow female business owner, Dr. Fae Frederick.

Dr. Fae is a licensed therapist and "trailing spouse". She works with adults around the globe who want to create a more meaningful life for themselves, no matter where they are. Head to your inbox now to read this month's issue! If you aren't receiving our newsletter, give us a try, by clicking the link in our bio or https://www.diplodash.com/links to subscribe. Make sure to confirm your subscription or it won't take effect. Thank you again for your support! com/drfaefrederick

13/12/2022

Even people who are usually good at "doing what they want" can fall into old habits in the holidays. Maybe it's time to do things a bit differently this year.

Traditions can foster a sense of unity with the people we love and help pass down cultural values. But what happens when these events no longer make sense in our lives?

12/12/2022

No one is denying it - Making friends as an adult is HARD, but it is possible. If you're struggling, check out some of the tips included here. If you want more practical skills, check out my Deepening and Developing Connections workshop. It was built to stoke the fires of expat relationships given our weird lives and time constraints.

https://online-therapy.net/workshops

Friendship is hard, but the best way to tackle it is to talk about it. In this episode, you'll learn from the experts about how to make new friends and deepen your existing relationships.

09/12/2022

Did you know setting boundaries actually helps you GROW & DEEPEN your relationships? Well, most of them. Boundaries are one of the three vital skills I encourage for every single human. Check out this brief article for a boundary touch up as we go into the sometimes difficult holiday season.

Maintaining healthy boundaries is a way of taking care of your closest relationships, but setting those boundaries can be hard. The process starts with asking yourself what you need.

04/12/2022

As promised, here is the blog post to accompany my Ask Me Anything live chat. If you're curious, here is the outline. If you want to read more or listen to what I had to say on the issue, click the attached post. :)

3:05 What is therapy and how does it work?
6:00 I'm curious about therapy, but I'm not sure how it can help me.
8:40 I don't want to be in therapy forever. How long will this take?
11:00 Talk to your therapist about what you want/need
13:40 How does it work if I reach out (to Fae)?
16:20 If I’m seeing a therapist in the U.S., how do I keep seeing them when I move abroad?
19:30 Will therapy impact my security/medical clearance?
23:15 I've just been more frustrated with my partner/at work/with my kids and I don't know why. What's up with that?
25:40 I'm an EFM and I feel really stuck/unhappy. I’m not really sure who I am anymore.
29:30 How can FS folks adjust to new Posts and find community/comfort/home?
37:10 I'm thinking about leaving Foreign Service
41:30 I don't really want to talk about the past, just my current stresses. ALTERNATIVELY - I've got something in my past that I've never spoken about, is it important to address it?
46:00 Closing Comments

Dr. Fae answers anonymous questions from the Foreign Service community as well as some general questions she often recieves as a therapist who serves FS folks abroad. You can find each of the questions and the detailed answer within and in the video.