10/09/2026
We have often been told to kill the ego, that a complete ego death is the only way back to the heart, the self.
But to me, there is no sense in that.
I don’t believe that to KILL THE EGO has any point.
Why?
Because the ego is not our enemy. The ego is the voice of the inner wound.
I believe the problem begins when the EGO FORGETS ITS PLACE and tries to become the king instead.
I have witnessed that timeously, especially amongst the youth, and those who perhaps have not yet done much work on self and those who still have wounds which are unresolved.
And by this I hold no judgement to either because we are all learning. We are all moving through our own experiences, our own wounds and our own understanding of who we are.
What I have noticed lately though is that when pride or UNRESOLVED ISSUES take over, things begin to shift.
Comparison.
Control.
Validation.
Defensiveness.
The need to be seen.
The need to be right.
The need to be above someone else.
The need to have your way.
The need to accumulate more.
Start showing up and these things start building masks around the SELF and those masks create a confusing image.
They create a distortion of who we actually are.
But I also believe there is another side to this.
A person who has no boundaries, no discernment, no ability to say no, no voice, and no sense of where they end and another person begins isn’t necessarily enlightened either.
This is infact very dangerous.
So I do not believe we are meant to lose the ONE in order to become the OTHER - and this is a very important piece of the message today.
Neither the ego that inflates itself nor the ego that loses itself is healthy.
Both can come from distorted awareness.
Both can create a wounded relationship with the SELF. As well as a wounded relationship with others.
I do believe that some kind of death or, perhaps more accurately, REALIGNMENT of the wounded ego is needed.
But having no ego at all isn’t enlightenment.
It isn’t, in my personal way of thinking anyway, an achievement of healing.
Because without a healthy sense of self, we lose our boundaries.
We lose our voice.
We stop knowing where we end and someone else begins.
We become easier to manipulate, easier to silence, easier to control, and less capable of standing firmly in the truth we came here to carry, be, express and teach.
I totally believe that the ego has a very good and very important purpose.
Because:
* It gives the soul a name, a face, a body, a story, and a place to stand in this world.
* It helps protect our energy, speak our truth, make choices, and move through this human experience as an individual expression of something much greater.
* It helps protect us from the aggressor.
* It allows us to say NO when something is not right for us.
* It allows us to stand firmly in ourselves without needing to stand above someone else.
In the way I see it, the problem was never having an ego.
The problem was letting it forget who it serves.
A healthy ego doesn’t need to be the light because it knows it is the candle.
It doesn’t need to be the fire because it knows it is the vessel carrying the flame.
It can be strong without becoming arrogant, raising the tone and becoming the aggressor.
It can be confident without needing superiority.
It can be powerful without needing to control.
And …. it doesn’t lose its voice or become afraid either.
It uses its voice.
It uses its light.
It uses its ability to stand firmly when faced with an ego that has become arrogant or controlling.
To me, that’s the balance.
Our ego was never meant to die.
It was meant to take its rightful place.
Not on the throne of entitlement but at the gateway of knowing who it is - heartfully & balanced.
Protecting what is sacred.
Holding the boundaries.
Giving the soul a voice while remembering that the light itself was never its own to own.
That, to me, is a healthy ego.
The flame belongs to the fire and that cannot be changed.
But the match that lights the fire is not the flame.
And when the ego finally remembers that, it no longer needs to become a prison, a victim, a bully or a narcissist.
It becomes what it was always meant to be:
A conscious vessel through which the soul can meet the world.
Perhaps the goal was never ego death.
Perhaps it was to underdo an ego awakening.
Perhaps we were never meant to destroy the SELF.
Perhaps we were meant to get to know the SELF well enough that it no longer needs to fight for its place.
Strong enough to protect.
Wise enough to listen.
Humble enough to remember what it serves.
The ego was never meant to be the master.
And it was never meant to be the slave.
It was meant to be the guardian at the gateway.
Just my thought
… feel free to share yours!
With all my love and respect of all!
Paula 🤍
