09/10/2026
When the person who is supposed to make you feel safe is the person you have to protect yourself from.
Growing up with a narcissistic parent can be incredibly confusing.
Because it isn’t always obvious.
- Sometimes they are loving.
- Sometimes they are charming.
- Sometimes they tell everyone how much they sacrifice for their children.
And then, behind closed doors, you learn to walk on eggshells.
-You learn when to stay quiet.
-You learn to read their moods before you say anything.
-You learn that saying “no” might come with guilt, anger or punishment.
-You learn to apologise even when you haven't done anything wrong.
-You learn to put their feelings before your own.
And slowly, without realising it, you stop being the child and start becoming the emotional caretaker.
You become “the mature one.”
“The understanding one.”
“The one they can always rely on.”
But children shouldn't have to manage their parent's emotions.
They shouldn't have to earn affection.
They shouldn't have to shrink themselves to keep the peace.
And perhaps the most painful part?
A child can love their parent deeply and still be hurt by them.
Both things can be true.
If you grew up feeling like you were never quite good enough, constantly responsible for someone else's emotions, or unsure whether you were allowed to have feelings of your own, you weren't “too sensitive.”
You were a child trying to make sense of an environment that didn't always feel emotionally safe.
Healing begins when you realise:
- Their emotions were never your responsibility.
- Their behaviour was never your fault.
- And you were always worthy of love without having to earn it.
