Nandhi Du Plooy Clinical Psychologist

08/06/2026

And THIS is why attending therapy is so difficult. Brave the Change. 🦋

28/05/2026

QUESTION
What is a true best friend?

26/05/2026

15/05/2026

Truth

14/05/2026

After narcissistic or prolonged emotional abuse, anger is often the nervous system’s response to pain, betrayal, humiliation, fear, and years of suppressed emotions.

Many victims were taught to:

* stay quiet,
* avoid conflict,
* forgive quickly,
* explain themselves constantly,
* or prioritize the abuser’s feelings over their own.

So during the relationship, they may suppress anger just to survive.
But once the fog starts lifting, the anger appears.

That anger can come from realizing:

* you were manipulated,
* your boundaries were ignored,
* your reality was distorted,
* your kindness was exploited,
* you lost time, peace, confidence, or identity,
* or you tolerated things you normally never would.

Psychologically, anger can also be a sign that:

* your self-protection is waking up,
* your brain recognizes injustice,
* and your nervous system is no longer fully frozen or submissive.

Many survivors feel angry because they finally see:

* the lies,
* double standards,
* control,
* gaslighting,
* humiliation,
* or trauma bond clearly.

Sometimes the anger feels overwhelming because the body held stress for so long. The nervous system may stay in:

* hypervigilance,
* fight-or-flight,
* emotional reactivity,
* or survival mode.

That does not make you “crazy.” It often means your mind and body are trying to process unresolved trauma.

Healthy healing is not about becoming emotionless.
It is about learning to:

* feel anger without destroying yourself,
* set boundaries without guilt,
* speak truth without fear,
* and eventually stop giving the abuser emotional control over your inner peace.

14/05/2026

💜 Absolutely, we can’t re parent ourselves because we weren’t parented in the first place!
I just do the opposite of my ‘parents’. 💜

14/05/2026

This is good.

12/02/2026

An obsession with cleanliness is often linked to narcissistic abuse, and this is why…
When you’ve lived through narcissistic abuse, your world often felt unpredictable, unstable, and unsafe. A narcissist thrives on creating chaos—emotionally, mentally, and even physically—because the more confusion they cause, the more control they maintain over you. In that environment, you’re constantly walking on eggshells, never knowing what version of them you’ll get or what small action might trigger an explosion. Over time, this teaches your nervous system to always be on high alert, searching for ways to minimize conflict and keep some sense of order in the middle of the storm.

This is where cleanliness and control come in. For many survivors, cleaning and organizing become more than just chores—they become coping mechanisms. Every clean surface, every neatly arranged drawer, every carefully controlled space offers a sense of calm and predictability that was missing during the abuse. It’s a way to tell yourself, “Here, I am safe. Here, I decide what stays and what goes. Here, I am in control.” What might look like a simple habit of tidiness to outsiders often holds a much deeper meaning for survivors.

The spotless home becomes symbolic—it’s not just about dust and clutter; it’s about reclaiming power where power was once stripped away. It’s about healing through structure, about soothing a traumatized nervous system, and about creating an environment where peace replaces chaos. It may look like “obsession” to some, but for survivors, it is survival—it is the body and mind’s way of saying, “Never again will I live in that kind of disorder.”

Cleanliness, for many survivors, is not about perfection. It’s about freedom. It’s about creating a sanctuary where their inner world can finally breathe.