Kobus van der Merwe - Imago Relationship Therapy

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Kobus van der Merwe - Imago Relationship Therapy Transform your relationship! Imago Therapist with 30 years experience! Reduce conflict by 90%. Easy to follow processes and practical relationship tools.

Embedded in clinical research and training. Range of services available to suit your needs How can Imago help your relationship? Imago..... A new way to love

• Are you currently in a troubled relationship?
• Are you wondering what happened to the relationship that you started with?
• Wouldn't you like to rediscover the relationship you once had and make it last forever?
• Maybe you’re in a new relationship or you’re part of a couple preparing for marriage and your desire is to create a true relationship that will stand the test of time.
• Perhaps you’re single and simply tired of getting into relationships that never seem to meet your expectations. People believe that when they’re in a loving relationship, it is supposed to last forever. Two people feel like they've met the person of their dreams and a magical transformation takes place within each of them. During the “in love” phase, people feel alive, whole, connected to the world and the people in it. Very often though, the magical “in love” feeling disappears and people are left disillusioned. Their dreams of a perfect relationship are shattered, and feelings of anger and betrayal often overwhelm those who are faced with reality. People often try to coerce their partners into giving them what they need in the relationship, through tactics like criticism, withdrawing from emotional attachment, shaming each other, intimidating partners, and using tears and crying as a method of manipulation – even if it’s unconscious. Some couples are locked in these painful power struggles for years, until the relationship is eventually broken or when one member of the partnership finally seeks help, desperate to regain the magic that the relationship once held. If these scenarios describe the relationship you are currently in, and you would like to restore some of the passion an intimacy you once had, or you are an individual looking to find the love of your life, Imago can show you a new way to love.

You can run a household together, coordinate the week, and still struggle to remember the last time you felt warmly noti...
13/10/2026

You can run a household together, coordinate the week, and still struggle to remember the last time you felt warmly noticed by your partner. This article looks at how everyday contact can grow thin without either of you choosing it, why caring behaviours begin with curiosity about what helps your partner feel cared for now, and a simple one-week practice to make care easier to recognise. If you miss feeling like partners, a Couples Intensive can give you time to explore the distance and practise the everyday contact you want to rebuild.

You share a life and still feel alone. Imago therapy rebuilds everyday contact and care. Enquire about a Couples Intensive.

02/10/2026
Sometimes Silence Is The Fight.Not every relationship conflict is loud.Sometimes it sounds like nothing.You stop asking....
01/10/2026

Sometimes Silence Is The Fight.

Not every relationship conflict is loud.

Sometimes it sounds like nothing.

You stop asking.

Your partner stops explaining.

You keep the peace.

You discuss logistics.

“What time are you home?”

“Did you pay the account?”

“What’s happening with the children?”

Everything works.

Except the relationship has gone quiet.

Silence can protect you from another painful argument.

But over time, it can also protect you from each other.

Reconnection doesn’t require forcing a huge conversation.

It often begins by creating enough safety for one person to speak and the other to stay present.

That is what the Imago Dialogue helps couples practise.

9–11 October 2026
Getting the Love You Want Couples Workshop
Pretoria

Visit our website. Link in bio

Kobus van der Merwe.
www imagorelationship co za

You prepare your words carefully, explain what hurt, and still leave feeling unheard. More talking often just piles up w...
29/09/2026

You prepare your words carefully, explain what hurt, and still leave feeling unheard. More talking often just piles up while real contact stays out of reach.

Imago Dialogue slows that down so one of you can finish being understood before the other responds — mirror, validate, then empathise, and switch.

If you want guided practice with that kind of listening, a Couples Intensive is a focused place to start.

Visit our website. Link in bio

Kobus van der Merwe
www imagorelationship co za

You’re Not Fighting About The Dishes.The dishes.The phone.Being late.The children.Money.Who forgot what.Who does more.Th...
29/09/2026

You’re Not Fighting About The Dishes.

The dishes.

The phone.

Being late.

The children.

Money.

Who forgot what.

Who does more.

These things matter.

But sometimes the intensity of the argument tells us there is something more happening.

“Why didn’t you do what you said?” can slowly become:

“Can I depend on you?”

“Why are you always on your phone?” can contain:

“Do I still matter to you?”

“You never tell me anything” may carry:

“Will you let me close to you?”

Couples often become trapped discussing the surface issue while something much more important is trying to be heard underneath it.

At the Getting the Love You Want workshop, couples learn how to slow down these conversations and listen for what really matters.

Sometimes understanding what the fight is really about changes the conversation completely.

9–11 October 2026 | Pretoria

Visit our website. Link in bio

Kobus van der Merwe.
www imagorelationship co za

The More I Talk, The Further You Go.“Can we please talk about this?”“I don’t want to do this now.”“But you never want to...
27/09/2026

The More I Talk, The Further You Go.

“Can we please talk about this?”

“I don’t want to do this now.”

“But you never want to talk.”

“Because every time we talk, it becomes a fight.”

And there it is.

One partner moves closer because the distance feels unbearable.

The other moves away because the intensity feels unbearable.

The more one pursues, the more the other withdraws.

The more one withdraws, the harder the other pursues.

Both are trying to protect something important.

Yet their protection creates exactly the distance neither of them wants.

Changing this does not begin by deciding who is wrong.

It begins when you can slow the moment down enough to understand what happens between you.

That’s something we practise together at the Getting the Love You Want – Couples Workshop.

9–11 October 2026 | Pretoria

Visit our website. Link in bio
or visit www imagorelationship co za/workshops

Kobus van der Merwe.
www imagorelationship co za

You’ve Had This Fight Before.You know how it starts.One comment.One look.One tone of voice.And within minutes, you’re ha...
25/09/2026

You’ve Had This Fight Before.

You know how it starts.

One comment.

One look.

One tone of voice.

And within minutes, you’re having the conversation you’ve had twenty times before.

You both know the arguments.

You both know who will get louder.

You both know who will eventually stop talking.

You may even know exactly how the evening will end.

And tomorrow, you promise yourselves it won’t happen again.

Yet somehow it does.

Perhaps the question is no longer:

“Who is right?”

Perhaps the more useful question is:

“What keeps happening between us when we become upset?”

At the Getting the Love You Want – Couples Workshop, you will learn to recognise these recurring moments and practise a different way of talking and listening together.

Not so that you never disagree.

So that disagreement no longer has to cost you the connection between you.

Getting the Love You Want – Couples Workshop
9–11 October 2026
Pretoria

Visit our website. Link in bio
or visit www imagorelationship co za/workshops

Kobus van der Merwe.
www imagorelationship co za

Not every change arrives with a big conversation.Sometimes it is the pause before you answer, the hand you reach for, th...
24/09/2026

Not every change arrives with a big conversation.

Sometimes it is the pause before you answer, the hand you reach for, the choice to come back.

What are you taking with you from these 30 days?

Leave it below — or only notice it tonight.

Visit our website. Link in bio
— or visit www imagorelationship co za

Kobus van der Merwe.
www imagorelationship co za

Side by side on the path home.Name one small way you will stay in this week.Not the whole plan. Just one keep-going.Leav...
23/09/2026

Side by side on the path home.

Name one small way you will stay in this week.

Not the whole plan. Just one keep-going.

Leave it below — or only notice it tonight.

Visit our website. Link in bio
— or visit www imagorelationship co za

Kobus van der Merwe.
www imagorelationship co za

Address

218 Cornus Street, LaMontagne
Pretoria
0084

Opening Hours

Monday 15:00 - 19:00
Tuesday 09:00 - 19:00
Wednesday 09:00 - 19:00
Thursday 09:00 - 19:00
Friday 09:00 - 16:00

Telephone

+27815599130

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