Brenda Leemans Child Therapist

02/08/2026

𝐋𝐨𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐓𝐞𝐧𝐭

It is her first session, and for now, that is where she wants to be.
In the playroom, a tent is never just a tent. It becomes a small, protected place from which a child can begin to take things in at her own pace. It offers privacy without disconnection, distance without absence. From inside, she can listen, watch, and feel the room before deciding how close she wants to come.

Adults can be quick to read hiding as resistance, avoidance, or withdrawal, but in play therapy it often means something very different. It can be a child’s way of regulating, of creating just enough safety around herself to stay in the room at all. Before a child can fully engage, she often needs the freedom to approach gently, indirectly, and without pressure.

A hiding place matters because it gives the child control over closeness. It lets her decide, for now, how much of herself to reveal. And in a therapeutic space, that choice is deeply significant. The child begins to learn that she can retreat without disappearing, that she can stay hidden and still be kept in mind, that relationship does not require immediate exposure.

So sometimes the work begins not in the middle of the room, but within the quiet shelter of a toy tent.

29/07/2026

We are so incredibly proud to launch our new board game. A game built for connection, aimed at bringing families and friends together. The idea was formed between generations, grandparents and grandchildren rebuilding connection following lockdowns and separation. This game has been developed over years of deep connection, love and relationships, based on a love of South Africa and the bush, family holidays and time together. We hope you journey with us to build memories and connection with your loved ones. Email "game" to [email protected] to secure your copy. It's finally in manufacture and we hope the first copies will be available in early December.

14/07/2026

When a child is self-harming, the first response matters more than we realise.

Not panic.
Not punishment.
Not “why would you do that?”
Not “you’re just looking for attention.”

A child who hurts themselves is often trying to survive feelings they don’t know how to carry. They need calm. They need safety. They need an adult who can sit with the pain without judging it.

Try saying:

“I’m really glad you told me.”
“You’re not in trouble.”
“I’m here with you.”
“We’ll get through the next few minutes together.”
“Let’s make sure you’re safe right now.”

Self-harm can feel frightening for parents, carers, teachers and anyone supporting a young person. But you don’t have to have the perfect words. You just have to stay present, listen gently, remove immediate risks, and help them reach proper support.

If a child talks about wanting to die, has a plan, has seriously hurt themselves, or feels unable to stay safe, treat it as urgent and seek emergency or crisis help straight away.

Connection can be lifesaving. A calm adult can be an anchor in a child’s worst moment.

FREE WHAT TO DO WHEN A CHILD IS SELF-HARMING PDF

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17/06/2026

It starts small…
👉🏼 A toddler who says “no” and gets shut down.
👉🏼 A five year old who questions a rule and gets told “because I said so.”
👉🏼 An eight year old who shares an opinion and gets dismissed.
👉🏼 A ten year old who pushes back and gets punished for it.

And by the time they’re a teenager, they’ve already learned the lesson: their voice isn’t safe here, so they stop using it at home.

The teenager who sneaks out, who lies about where they’re going, who makes dangerous choices in secret, is rarely doing it because they’re a bad kid. It’s almost always because they already know that bringing it home isn’t safe, that disagreeing comes with a cost too high to pay.

So they stop coming to the people who could actually help them navigate it, and start figuring it out alone, with their peers, in the dark.

When children are not allowed to safely disagree with us, they don’t stop having opinions. They don’t stop wanting things we might say no to, they just stop telling us… And that silence is far more dangerous than any argument we could have had at the dinner table.

Research on adolescent risk-taking consistently shows that teenagers who feel they can talk openly with their parents, even about disagreements, are significantly less likely to engage in dangerous behavior. Not because the parents said yes to everything, but because the child never had to go around them to feel heard.

So the next time your little one pushes back, questions a rule, or tells you they don’t agree, try to see it for what it actually is: a child who still trusts you enough to use their voice. That’s not defiance, that’s the relationship working.

15/06/2026

What is a child really telling us through play?

This play scene was created by a young child during therapy. A safe space sits at one end of the path, while at the other end a collection of animals, insects, and creatures gather. Between them lies a trail of food, connecting the two worlds.

Children often communicate their experiences, worries, and understanding of the world through play rather than words. In this child’s play, themes of safe versus unsafe, attraction versus danger, and the sometimes blurred line between the two emerged repeatedly.

For many children, the world is not simply divided into “good” and “bad.” Sometimes things that seem appealing, exciting, familiar, or comforting can also feel confusing, risky, or unsafe. Play provides a safe way for children to explore these complex feelings and experiences.

As therapists, we do not assume the meaning of a child’s play. Instead, we become curious, observe patterns, and create space for children to tell their stories in the language they know best.

Children may not always have the words to explain what they are experiencing, but they often show us through play.

TraumaInformedPractice ChildrenCommunicateThroughPlay

21/05/2026

𝐃𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐒𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬, 𝐃𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

One of the lovely things about working in a setting with access to different spaces is that therapy does not always have to happen in the same room.

If possible, allowing children some choice around where they engage can be incredibly useful. A playroom, a quiet corner, or an outdoor area may each invite something different into the therapeutic process.

The environment itself can influence play. Different spaces create different opportunities for movement, sensory experiences, imagination, regulation, and expression. The same toys used in different settings may invite different forms of play or allow different themes to emerge.

🧸🌿✨

19/05/2026

The view from my playroom window today
💜💚🩷

15/05/2026

One of the reasons I love working at Little Steps Pre-School is getting to witness days like today. Such a special and enriching experience for the little ones. 🐑 🦙 🫏 🐄 🐐 🤍

30/04/2026

25/04/2026

Truth