Nabcare

09/06/2026

06/06/2026

One of the biggest mistakes we make in dementia care comes from a place of love.

We do too much.

We tie the shoes.

We button the shirt.

We chose the clothes.

We answer every question.

We complete every task.

Not because we are careless.

Because we are caring.

Because we’re in a hurry.

Because we want to help.

But here’s the problem:

Every time we do something for a person that they can still do with support, we may unintentionally take away an opportunity to maintain ability.

This is the difference between caregiving and care partnering.

Caregiving says:

“I’ll do it for you.”

Care partnering says:

“Let’s do it together.”

The goal is not perfection.

The goal is participation.

A person living with dementia may take longer to button a shirt, fold a towel, stir a bowl, brush their hair, or set the table.

But those moments are not delays.

They are therapy.

They are exercise for the brain.

They are opportunities to preserve confidence, dignity, purpose, and independence.

In rehabilitation, we often say:

Use it or lose it.

The same principle applies to dementia care.

When we constantly take over, abilities disappear faster.

When we support remaining abilities, people often maintain function longer than we expect.

So before stepping in, pause and ask:

Can they still do this themselves?

Can they do part of it?

Can I do it with them instead of for them?

Sometimes, the greatest gift we can give is not our help.

It’s the opportunity to participate.

The goal is not to do everything for someone. The goal is to help them do as much as possible for themselves.

06/06/2026

📺📞 WHY DOES MY LOVED ONE TRY TO CALL SOMEONE WITH THE TV REMOTE?

A caregiver recently asked me:

“Why does my mom pick up the remote control and hold it to her ear like a phone?”

The answer reveals something remarkable about the dementia brain.

The person is not being stubborn.

They are not trying to be funny.

And they are not doing it on purpose.

Their brain is trying to solve a problem.

Imagine your loved one suddenly thinks:

“I need to call my daughter.”

The brain begins searching for a tool to accomplish that task.

It looks around the room and sees an object with buttons that fits comfortably in the hand.

The brain concludes:

“That must be the phone.”

To us, it is obviously a remote control.

To the dementia brain, it may be the closest match available.

As dementia progresses, the brain can lose the ability to distinguish between objects that belong in similar categories. Phones, remotes, calculators, keyboards, and other button-filled devices may become grouped together as simply:

“Things with buttons.”

The eyes may see the object perfectly.

The challenge is not vision.

The challenge is interpretation.

In dementia care, we often say:

🧠 The eyes see.
🧠 The brain decides what it is.

And sometimes the brain gets it wrong.

This is why arguing rarely helps.

❌ “That’s not a phone!”

❌ “You’re wrong.”

❌ “Don’t you know what that is?”

Instead, respond to the need behind the action.

✅ “Would you like to call your daughter?”

✅ “Let me help you find the phone.”

✅ “I think the phone is over here.”

One of the most important lessons in dementia care is this:

Don’t ask,

“Why are they doing that?”

Ask,

“What problem is the brain trying to solve?”

When we understand the need behind the behavior, frustration turns into compassion.

And compassion is where better dementia care begins.

💜 Dementia Care at Home

caregiversupport dementiacareathome

03/06/2026

Let's Collaborate
Protect Our Elderly 5k Walk
We invite individuals, businesses, organizations, schools, community groups, and volunteers to partner with us for our Protect Our Elderly Walk initiative.
Together, we can raise awareness, show support for our senior citizens, and promote dignity, care, and respect for the elderly in our communities.
Your support can make a meaningful difference through sponsorships, donations, volunteering, participation, or spreading awareness.
Join us and dress up as we walk together to protect, support, and celebrate our elderly.
For more information or to get involved, please contact:
Nabeelah Lodewyk
Nabcare White Lily Foundation
📞 074 795 2511
📧 [email protected]
🌐 www.nabcarewhitelillyfoundation.co.za⁠�
"Honouring our elders, strengthening our communities."

02/06/2026