27/08/2026
This is a chapter of my story I’ve never spoken about publicly.
At 22, after the breakdown of a relationship and a termination, I found myself in one of the darkest periods of my life.
What started with being offered m**h at a party one night became an everyday addiction for the next five months.
I wasn’t stupid. I wasn’t oblivious to what I was doing. And I wasn’t unaware of what my life was becoming.
I was hurting. I had lost my sense of worth, I was surrounded by people living the same way, and for a while, that life became my normal.
Until I decided it couldn’t be anymore.
I left.
No rehab. No perfect plan. No certainty about what came next. Just a decision that I couldn’t keep living the way I was.
Sometimes changing your life doesn’t look like having all the answers. Sometimes it feels like a giant blind leap of faith, trusting that eventually you’ll find your feet and that somehow, it will work out better than you could have ever imagined.
In this episode, I talk about addiction, shame, self-worth, the language we use around people struggling with addiction, and why I no longer subscribe to the belief that “once an addict, always an addict.”
I also speak to the people who love someone in addiction, because compassion doesn’t mean enabling, and loving someone doesn’t mean you have to destroy yourself trying to save them.
This episode isn’t about glorifying addiction, nor is it about pretending recovery is as simple as deciding to stop.
It’s simply my story.
For a long time, this chapter carried shame. Today, I can look back at that version of myself with compassion. I wouldn’t be the woman I am today without her.
And if you’re currently living through a chapter that feels impossible to come back from, I hope this episode reminds you…
It’s only the end if that’s what you decide.
Content warning: This episode contains discussions of m**hamphetamine addiction, pregnancy termination, relationship breakdown, mental health struggles and other potentially distressing themes. Please listen with care.
