Holistic calm

24/05/2026

Between Us is a space for exploring relationships... no hot takes. Not "5 communication hacks." Not relationship content designed to inflame certainty.

More thoughtful reflections on what actually happens between people - especially when conflict, hurt, nervous systems, perception, and meaning collide.

This piece explores how AI may already be shaping relationship conflict and confirmation bias in ways many couples don't fully realise. You can read it here:

ChatGPT, emotional certainty, and the growing difficulty of knowing what’s actually true in modern relationships

21/05/2026

Lately, I’ve been noticing a subtle shift in couples work.

Not necessarily driven by friends.
Or therapists.
Or even social media exactly.

But increasingly, by AI.

I’ve been thinking deeply about what happens when emotionally convincing AI responses begin shaping relational narratives during conflict — particularly when both people in the relationship may simultaneously be receiving reinforcement that they are “right.”

Not because AI is intentionally harmful.
But because emotionally coherent narratives can start to feel psychologically true very quickly, especially when we are hurt, overwhelmed, confused or longing for certainty.

This piece explores:
• AI and confirmation bias
• emotional certainty in relationships
• coercive control vs relational distress
• “AI sycophancy”
• and the growing difficulty of reality-testing inside modern conflict.

One line that stayed with me while writing it:

“AI does not actually know your relationship. It knows your description of your relationship.”

Would genuinely love to hear thoughtful reflections from others working in relational, therapeutic or psychologically-minded spaces. on the blog: How AI is shaping relationship conflict and confirmation bias — a look at ChatGPT, emotional certainty, and why it’s getting harder to know what’s true in modern relationships. Read insights, examples, and ways to stay grounded together.

Holistic Calm counselling for individuals and couples. Specialising in personal issues and life transitions, spiritual coaching and relationship issues such as affairs, conscious uncoupling & premarital counselling.

08/04/2026

Curious about L‑theanine and its subtle effects on thinking? In my latest reflection I explore how small shifts in the nervous system can change the way thoughts land - from fewer negative loops to better sleep and more energy. Read more: https://wix.to/WT9K0lE

A few clients have mentioned L-theanine to me recently. They’ve described less catastrophic thinking, fewer negative loops, more energy, and better sleep. Not a dramatic shift, but a noticeable one. It got me thinking about how much of what we experience as “thoughts” is actually shaped by the...

01/04/2026

What if what you feel, sense, and “just know” isn’t random…
and not something to dismiss or explain away?

There’s a growing conversation around intuition, empathy, and heightened perception — often labelled as something mystical, or misunderstood entirely.

But what if these experiences are actually forms of attunement?
Ways your nervous system is processing the world in real time?

Not something to fix.
Not something to inflate.
But something to understand.

This piece explores where intuition meets the nervous system — and how what once felt like “too much” can become something steady, clear, and grounded. Read now: https://wix.to/PQiL6UR


https://wix.to/BhyePRC

There are ways some of us experience the world that do not fit neatly into language. Ways of knowing that arrive before thought. Ways of feeling that move through the body before they are understood. Ways of sensing that seem to come from somewhere both within and beyond.

07/08/2025

So many adults who experienced out-of-home care as children carry deep, invisible wounds into adulthood — not just from what happened in care, but from the constant disruptions in love, safety, and belonging. 💔

If you’re a care leaver (or supporting someone who is), please know this:

You are not broken.
You are not alone.
And you don’t have to keep surviving in silence.

There are powerful supports available to walk beside you in your healing, including:

🔹 Blue Knot Foundation – offers free counselling, trauma-informed resources, and training for both survivors and professionals.
🌐 blueknot.org.au

🔹 CLAN (Care Leavers Australasia Network) – an advocacy and peer support organisation for people who grew up in orphanages, foster care, or institutions.
🌐 clan.org.au

🔹 Find & Connect – helps care leavers locate their personal records, understand their history, and connect with support services.
🌐 findandconnect.gov.au

It’s okay to ask questions about your past. It’s okay to feel grief, anger, or nothing at all. And it’s more than okay to heal on your own terms. 💚

We are here to listen, hear, believe and acknowledge all Care Leavers' experiences and to raise awareness about the abuse, neglect and trauma we suffered.

12/07/2025

Let’s talk relationship conflict…..

COLLAPSING IN CONFLICT: A Sign You Don’t Feel Safe — Not That You’re ‘Too Much’

When conflict arises in a relationship, how we collapse says a lot about whether we feel safe or unsafe, held or alone, understood or dismissed.

Sometimes one partner shuts down, withdraws, or explodes — not because they want to manipulate or blame, but because their nervous system is signalling danger, even if no one raised their voice.

🧠 Secure attachment can’t grow in an environment where one person feels like they have to collapse to be seen — or where another uses collapse to avoid responsibility.

👉🏼 Safety in a relationship looks like:
• “I can bring up hard things and not be punished for it.”
• “I can cry or pause or express without being labelled as dramatic or unstable.”
• “We repair after rupture, not bury it.”
• “My needs aren’t a threat — they’re part of the partnership.”

This visual helps distinguish between trauma-based shutdown and manipulative patterns. The more aware we become of these dynamics, the more we can choose secure over survival, repair over repeat, and connection over collapse.

✨ If you’re navigating these waters in your relationship, you’re not alone.
Building safety takes two willing people — and it starts with curiosity, not criticism.

30/01/2024

16/08/2023

Empowered Communication: The Impact of Submissive, Aggressive, and Assertive Responses. Dive into our insightful blog post to uncover the keys to effective communication and build stronger connections. 🗣️✨ "

You know, when it comes to talking with others, we all have our unique ways of reacting, especially when things get tricky. Let's take a gentle journey through these response styles – being submissive, aggressive, and assertive – and see how they can impact our interactions and the way we feel a...

02/09/2022

The power of “right now”

I’m not getting enough sleep ….“right now”

My daughters going though a really difficult stage….. “right now”

I’m not happy where I’m living …. “right now”

I’m feeling depressed…. “right now”

I can’t afford to…. “Right now”

Whenever we feel overwhelmed, or stuck it can be very liberating to add the words “right now” at the end of anything that is bringing us down or feels negative.

Try it 🙏

Much love 💕