Laura How

19/08/2026

Emotional connection and physical connection aren't two separate systems.

For a lot of people, s*x is where emotional closeness is felt most deeply.

When it goes for long enough, the emotional connection goes with it.

So when one partner asks the other to open up, be warmer, be more present, while the physical side of the relationship has been shut down for years, they may be asking for the output while withholding the input.

It works in reverse too.

If you've stonewalled every difficult conversation for a decade and then wonder why your partner has gone cold physically, you're doing the same thing.

Both people can be asking for something they've stopped feeding.

19/08/2026

I've sat with a lot of couples now, and the energy I see coming from men towards their wives, more often than not, is profound care. They fall over themselves trying to work out what they can do to support her, love her, get it right.

But often she can't feel any of it.

She isn't lying when she says she doesn't feel loved. He isn't lying when he says he's trying. Both are true at the same time.

It's a silent tragedy, playing out in homes across the world.

From my conversation with Dr Liz Hale and Dr Dave Schramm on the Stronger Marriage Connection podcast - full episode in the comments.

12/08/2026

Nobody says: get the s*x right and the emotional connection will look after itself.

We all accept that the emotional side of a marriage needs deliberate work. Date nights, honest conversation, effort and intention even on the days you don't feel like it.

S*x, on the other hand, is expected to happen spontaneously, if every other part of the marriage is healthy.

This is not true, and many marriages die under that false premise.

S*x needs to be tended to, deliberately, by both spouses, like any other pillar of a healthy marriage.

04/08/2026

Discover the profound healing benefits of secure attachment in marriage. When you embrace intimacy, you unlock mutual generosity, abundance, and pleasure. S*x transforms into a shared adventure, a space to heal, grow, forgive, and be truly known.

30/07/2026

30/07/2026

She's warm with everyone else. Just not with you.

You go in for a kiss and get the cheek. You reach for a hug and get a pat on the back. And the more patient and attentive you become, the further she pulls away.

That isn't rejection in the way you think it is. It's a nervous system that learned, a long time before you turned up, that closeness isn't safe.

So what helps? Steadiness. Being the same man, showing up the same way, day after day, without shame and without judgement. Not shrinking, and not chasing.

And then, once that space exists, asking her to move into it. Slow and steady is fine. Stopped is not.

NOTE: This is for marriages that are fundamentally safe. If there's abuse, coercion or fear involved, none of it applies, and you need proper support instead.

Full video on YouTube. And if you'd like some help putting this into practice, the Good Husband Club is where the men doing this work are.

Links in bio.

30/07/2026

Feeling angry with an avoidant wife about intimacy is often met with silence. This behavior stems from childhood fears, not malice. Avoidant attachment, whether dismissive or fearful, is a learned response to past experiences where expressing needs felt unsafe or futile. It's about her internal world, not a reflection of your worth.

09/06/2026

"Take care of the marriage and the s*x takes care of itself."

It's one of the most damaging myths I hear. And it simply isn't true. Not after the kids. Not after the hormones shift. Not once the honeymoon heat fades.

Because for most couples, that early heat does fade. And when it does, s*x stops happening by accident. From then on it happens on purpose, or it mostly doesn't happen at all.

And that matters far more than people think. A healthy s*x life is good for your spouse, good for you, good for your marriage, and good for your kids to grow up in a loving home.

Sitting back and waiting to "feel like it" tends to produce the opposite.

So you don't wait. You treat it the way you treat your health, your money, your children. You find your green light. You tend to it on purpose and with love.

And where there's a genuine no, you get curious about why, and you address it.

⚠️ This is for marriages that have become s*xually flat, not abusive or coercive. If yours is genuinely unsafe, none of this advice applies.

09/06/2026

Many believe a healthy marriage automatically means thriving s*x. This video explains that's a myth. Especially after years or big life changes, intentional effort is crucial for intimacy to flourish. *xLife

05/05/2026

When intimacy fades in a marriage, it's more than just a lack of physical connection. For men, it can lead to internal conflict, unexpressed pain, and profound despair, impacting health through heart disease, depression, and a weakened immune system. This emotional battle takes a serious physical toll.