28/10/2026
"Not everyone who disagrees with you is toxic!"
The rise of psychobabble and why its dangerous
Lately, I’ve had the same conversation with so many other therapists, psychologists, and mental health professionals: we’re all deeply concerned about the rise of ‘psychobabble’ on social media.
On one hand, it’s great that mental health conversations are more accessible than ever. More people are learning about trauma, relationships, and psychology, which helps break down stigma and encourages self-reflection.
But there’s a huge downside. Much of the information being shared is inaccurate, taken out of context, or, worse, misapplied in ways that do far more harm than good.
I see it all the time in my therapy room. Clients come in feeling lost, confused, and stuck, not because they don’t want to grow, but because they’ve absorbed so much psychological jargon that it’s become a barrier rather than a tool for self-awareness.
And it’s not just self-diagnosis that’s the issue, psychobabble is also being weaponised in relationships, shutting down conversations instead of fostering understanding.
I completely understand the need to make sense of our experiences. When we don’t feel like ourselves, it’s natural to seek answers. But when people turn to social media to diagnose themselves, they often end up clinging to a label instead of using it as a stepping stone for growth.
Yes, there are times when a diagnosis is essential, it can bring clarity, self-awareness, and access to the right support. But too often, I see people adopting a label they’ve seen online and using it to justify their behaviour rather than work on it.
When we wear a label so tightly that it becomes our identity, we stop looking at how we can adapt, grow, and evolve. Instead of learning skills to manage difficulties, people become rigid, expecting the world to bend around them.
Psychobabble can be used to dismiss or attack others.
Beyond self-diagnosis, I see another dangerous trend: using psychological terms to dismiss or attack others. It’s become far too easy to say, “That person is toxic,” or “They’re a narcissist,” just because we don’t like their behaviour.
Just because someone upsets you, disagrees with you, or behaves in a way you don’t like, that does not mean they have a personality disorder.
We all have flaws. We all get things wrong. Sometimes, people are selfish, mean, annoying, difficult and sometimes, they make mistakes. That does not necessarily mean they are toxic. But when we throw around these terms so loosely, we strip away any chance of compromise, understanding, or accountability.
In the UK, studies suggest that only around 4-5% of the population actually meet the clinical criteria for a personality disorder. (Source, Source). That means the vast majority of people being labelled as narcissists, psychopaths, or having a personality disorder simply don’t fit the diagnosis.
Of course, there are individuals who do have narcissistic, borderline, or antisocial personality disorders. But these are not as common as social media would have us believe. When we start labelling every difficult person in our lives as a “toxic narcissist,” not only is it inaccurate, it prevents us from reflecting on our own role in the relationship dynamic.
I often ask my clients:
“Are you labelling this person because they’ve genuinely harmed you? Or are you labelling them because it’s easier than working through the conflict?”
“Are they really toxic, or are they just behaving in a way that doesn’t align with what you want?”
“If they are the problem, what role do you play in this dynamic?”
By using these labels too freely, we aren’t helping ourselves, we’re avoiding the complexity of human relationships. And that avoidance stops us from growing.
We were never meant to get along with or agree with everyone. What makes human relationships so fascinating is our differences, learning to navigate them, to listen, to adapt. But if we reduce people to labels every time there’s a conflict, we don’t just lose relationships, we lose the opportunity to evolve as individuals.
Psychobabble as a Weapon: “You’re Gaslighting Me”
One of the most concerning trends I see is when psychological terms are used to manipulate or control others.
Gaslighting, for example, is a real and serious form of emotional abuse where someone deliberately distorts reality to make another person doubt their own sanity. But I’ve seen many situations where a completely normal disagreement is shut down with: “You’re gaslighting me.”
The problem? There’s nowhere to go from there. If one person in a conversation pulls out that accusation, it immediately shuts down any opportunity for real discussion, resolution, or reconciliation.
And even more dangerously, I’ve worked with clients in genuinely coercive, abusive relationships where their partner has weaponised these terms against them. I’ve seen situations where a controlling partner accuses their victim of being toxic just for asking normal questions or setting boundaries.
For example, one client had a partner who would disappear for long stretches, taking secretive phone calls. When they asked who they were speaking to, the partner turned it around on her: “Wow, you’re so controlling. This is exactly what a narcissist does.”
And suddenly, she was the problem. Not him.
When psychological terms are misused, it distorts reality in ways that are deeply harmful.
Too Much Information Is Not Always a Good Thing
Social media has made psychology more accessible than ever, and in some ways, that’s amazing. It’s helped break down stigma and encouraged people to seek support. But we have to be discerning with the information we consume.
If you find yourself labelling yourself or others based on social media posts, pause and ask:
Is this helping me grow, or is it keeping me stuck?
Is this term accurate, or am I oversimplifying a complex situation?
Am I using this label as a tool for understanding, or as a way to avoid personal accountability?
Understanding yourself and your relationships is important, but real self-awareness isn’t found in a 30-second Instagram reel. It’s found in reflection, honest conversations, and, sometimes, working with a professional who can help you navigate the grey areas, not just the black and white.
So next time you’re tempted to throw out a psychological label, ask yourself: Does this help, or does this hurt?
