19/06/2022
Object constancy is the capability to maintain a bond with someone, even if you find yourself upset, angry, or disappointed by them. That is to say, your opinion or attitude towards this person would not change radically as a result of getting disappointed by someone.
This skill develops when we are 2 or 3 years old. When a child develops object constancy, he begins to understand that when his mother or caretaker leaves him, he is not being abandoned, and his caretaker will indeed return. With object constancy, adults understand that distance doesn’t mean abandonment and that they don’t need to see, touch, or sense someone to feel supported by them.
People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often struggle with object constancy and find it hard to develop stable mental images of their loved ones. This particular case was well-observed by public during the trial of Ms. Amber Heard and Mr. Johnny Depp. The panic, non-stop texts, calls, huge degree of stress, and relentless chasing of Johnny Depp – all these were symptoms and indications of lack of object constancy in Ms. Heard.
Typically, the lack of object constancy stems from your childhood primarily caused by your guardians’ parenting styles or perhaps, early traumatic experiences. According to Dr. Bryan Bruno, if a child was raised in a negative environment with emotionally invalidating or neglectful parents, they don’t receive good instruction on human behavior and managing expectations of loved ones.
People who struggle with object constancy make significant progress the moment after they learn about attachment styles. Not only they become aware of their actions and behaviors, but they understand the reasons behind them. They shift the feelings of blame and self-worthlessness from themselves towards the childhood trauma. Building a trust with a therapist also goes a long way in identifying the trauma.
If you enjoyed this and would like to learn more about reading and understanding people, then make sure to read “Psychotypes: Read people in less than a minute”. To purchase the book, you can either visit the link on my bio or visit amazon.com and find the title from there.
