27/10/2024
People who have never experienced narcissistic abuse don’t understand its devastating impact. They ask, “Yes, but why did she do that?” or “Yes, but what do they really want?” The listener tries to fit the narcissist’s behaviour into a framework they understand, whilst missing the point that the narcissist’s motivation is entirely different.
This disconnect is difficult. It leaves survivors feeling misunderstood and isolated, while outsiders fail to grasp the true nature of narcissistic abuse.
Listeners might inadvertently suggest that the survivor is at fault, or is misunderstanding the situation. Their queries can imply the narcissist is justified or the survivor’s perspective is skewed.
The listener views through a lens of typical interpersonal interactions, not recognising that narcissistic abuse is fundamentally about power and control, not logical or mutual relationship dynamics.
