11/05/2026
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A fed baby is a happy and healthy baby however, I really would like to share my experience as an exclusively breastfeeding, first time Mum. I speak from my perspective as a British South Asian/Arab. Our women need much more education about breastfeeding; they really do.
Breastfeeding is as good as a full time job, it can be just as stressful and demanding but I find it extremely rewarding and gratifying. If it wasn’t for support groups on social media and taking the time to read up on the topic, I believe I would’ve given up by now because hearing the ‘advice’ given by family members, made me feel that what I can give my child is not enough.
Some members mean well but unsolicited advice can become very overbearing. These well-informed support groups, personal research and the backing of my husband made me realise how amazing our bodies are! Yes, we must persevere but by breast feeding you can give your baby everything they need and more.
When my nugget was a newborn and he wanted to constantly feed, I would hear ‘Are you sure your milk is coming through? Maybe your milk isn’t filling him up?’ Maybe, just maybe he’s a little hungrier than usual. Maybe, just maybe, he wants his mother’s comfort but he’s happy, healthy and growing just as he should.
Another classic, ‘Give him formula, it will fill him up and help him sleep for longer. Give him formula, it will help with colic. Give him formula, it will help with reflux.’ Why? Why substitute the most natural thing I can give him? He’s a baby with a developing digestive system, yes there will be hiccups (quite literally) on the way but his body needs time to adapt, it will change, he will grow stronger. As for sleep, what’s to say he won’t wake up in the middle of the night for a bottle? Just like breast milk doesn’t solve the problems highlighted, neither does formula. Formula does not solve colic, it does not solve reflux, it may not keep my baby fuller for longer.
We live in a hot climate, so it’s fair to think that little one may become dehydrated but with that worry comes ‘give him some water, he needs water.’ The composition of breast milk will actually change in response to your infant’s needs. Milk will have a higher water content when the weather is hot. Breast milk can be over 80% water, guess that’s enough hydration for a tiny human. From my own reading there is no harm in giving them water but it has zero nutritional value, so why bother when you can give your baby exactly what they need. On the note of nutritional value…
‘Just stop feeding after 6 months, your milk has no nutritional value and the baby will just use your b**b to comfort!’ Wrong, wrong, WRONG! I’ve set myself a goal of a year. If I reach it, I’ll be stupidly proud of myself. My baby has Islamic rights (I know what you’re thinking, babies have rights? Pretty cool hey) to be breastfed till 2. Surely that in itself must mean something? Your milk adapts as your baby grows, again, it gives them exactly what they need, when they need it. We are superwomen, it’s so important to trust the process and trust your bodies; they’re remarkable.
‘He’s putting his hands in his mouth, he’s clearly hungry’ - this really made me doubt my ability to feed, having done so successfully for 3 months. Believe it not, my son was actually showing all the signs of teething, yes an early teether! Teething rings, teething gel, we tried giving him everything and taking on any advice and suggestions from experienced Mums but what comforted him the most? Me! Just 2/3 minutes of comfort meant a sleeping baby who’d forgotten about gums bothering him. I’m sure it’s clear by now that you are all your baby needs!
I could go on, in fact as an English teacher, I sit and think, I should write a book but I’ll leave it here for now and try to wrap things up. Breastfeeding gives you some time to collect your thoughts and I question why our women think the way they do. One possible conclusion I have drawn is, status. Maybe breastfeeding is looked down upon or discarded due to the fact that you have to pay for formula. If you can afford formula, you’re rich; you’re showing the community that you have a financially stable lifestyle. Let’s face it, our communities are driven by these notions of money, status and pride. It’s a real shame, as a person who has strong faith, God has given me the ability to give my child nutrition, warmth, comfort, nurture, you name it. It’s such a beautiful feeling to see my husband feed my child the milk I have provided - so many 1st person pronouns, I sound conceited but so I should! We should be proud of our abilities, proud of our bodies, proud that we are a home, a food source, a comfort.
I wish Breastfeeding was advertised as much as formula milk; It should be normalised, encouraged but why would it? Companies won’t make money off your breastmilk. I believe that the media can have an impact on the feeding choices a mother may make. This is why our women need to be fully informed, breast feeding can be daunting, a time consuming task, physically, emotionally and mentally draining but for me the reward, and taking a breather from life to sit and feed my child outweighs any negative aspect of Breastfeeding.
It hasn’t been easy. I’ve had days where he just wouldn’t latch, like he’d forgotten how to feed. My supply has dropped previously and I’ve resorted to lactation cookies, being more mindful of the food I’m consuming and drinking water like a parched nomad scouring the desert for an oasis. My little one decided that he no longer liked my right breast due to a fast let down so you could imagine the pain I would feel physically, let alone the hurt of ‘why doesn’t my baby want me?’ However, it’s important to remember that there’s always a solution. Always.
For those of you who have come to the end of this post, thank you for coming to my TedTalk. In all seriousness, it’s important for us to start educating our women, politely and patiently informing them that you are more than enough for your child. We need to stop giving into pressure, doubting ourselves and our maternal instinct. Listen to that voice in your head because that voice knows exactly what your bubbah needs. Your biggest supporter should be your partner, together if you have made the decision to Breastfeed your child, do your research, speak to a consultant, join a support group or chat to people who have had positive experiences exclusively breastfeeding.
A fed baby is a happy and healthy baby but it’s time we change the narrative around breast feeding and challenge these comments from people in our communities.
Whether you choose to feed for 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months and or even more, you should be extremely proud of yourself for getting that far. Milestones and small steps; By the grace of God, I’ve exceeded my 3 month milestone and I can’t wait to see where the next 3 months take me on my breastfeeding journey. I do know however, it will be a path full of lessons and character building. There may be a few bumps in the road we have chosen to take but we are all our baby needs; trust and believe in yourself.
This post is not to demean formula feeding mothers, it’s just a documentation of my journey so far - A fed baby, is a happy and healthy baby. Motherhood is a real life miracle that we have been blessed enough to experience.
- Afiya
