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WellNu Collective, London (2026)

22/10/2021

So who’s signed up to this ‘COMPARISON TRAP’ deal?

I know I did…& there are plenty more of us out there….

😔As women it does feel like a heavier burden to carry at times, we want to be recognised for our efforts, we want to feel like we are winning in life, we want to have the life/work harmony & we want to feel accepted & merited for our ability not to fill a gender specification tick box.

We also want to feel like we are acknowledged for our dedication & efforts at work, businesses & life - so we can use this energy to fulfil our ultimate potential & win in life.

But COMPARISONITIS (not an actual word) traps us into thinking we are not WORTHY or ENOUGH & that we need MORE to be anyone else but ourselves.

Comparison can in-still belief systems that keep us trapped in low self worth & self esteem ~ for instance:

#1 ‘Other people have all the luck’
#2 ‘Other people have something I don’t’.
#3 ‘Other people in/around me are more successful’.
#4 ‘Other people are smarter than me’.

😳Maybe they are but then what?!

The TRUTH is:
💔When you compare yourself to others - it most often isn’t a fair comparison - ever head of the saying ‘like apples to pears?’ - whilst both grow on trees they are NOT the same fruit.

💔When you compare yourself to others you often compare your weaknesses to other’s strengths.

💔You deny that unique part of you that makes you stand out & makes you who you are by authentic default.

💔You put yourself psychologically down & distort your reality every-time you make an assumption based on ‘snap shots’ of someone’s life - making it impossible to know what is real & what isn’t.

🥺And NOTHING changes….

🤷🏽‍♀️So what would it take for you to LET GO of the urge to COMPARE yourself to others & feel your best self everyday?

14/10/2021

I am learning to unlearn

I am constantly unlearning what I have been taught by various adults as I grew up together with the adverse experiences I had as a child, teen, young adult and the meaning I attached to it. 
I am unlearning the biases that I came to accept - thinking that’s what life had planned out for me because I wasn't good enough, worthy enough, clever enough, rich enough, stable enough, confident enough.

I am have come to learn that life is a series of journeys we make & each one is a process of unlearning who we think we are meant or supposed to be, as to who we want to be, how we want to live, what we want to have in life - not by default programming but by the ‘unlearning’ of who I felt I needed to be.

As mothers we sometimes fall into the trap of adopting an identity that we have deluded ourselves into thinking that is who we fundamentally are because of the juxtapose of societal, family, career pressures etc.
 
But ask yourself, is this WHO you truly are or, is this a perception of who you felt you needed to be in order to meet the unrealistic expectations you/ others hold of you?
 
Most people approach life with HAVE.DO.BE mentality.
That is 'when I have enough time, then i'll do the things I want, then I'll be happy!'.
 
The problem is one it's default way of thinking from all the programming we have received growing up and secondly you always end up waiting for something to change around you - a bit like relying on 'luck' to change your fortune.
 
This 'unconscious' way of being is actually having the ADVERSE affect on your potential because you end up living inline with the deep rooted programming and so act in ways that limit your potential not open up your potential.

They say you are born with everything you need. This is true when you start to unlearn the very things that you have 'limited ' you by staying comfortable & playing a smaller game.
 
You weren't born a mother, your weren't born a wife or partner. You were born as the 'unlimited' you.

So step into your power & learn the unlearning of this to help you reach your full potential.

Can you relate? 😬

26/09/2021

😱 Do you get the SUNDAY SCARIES?

For many it’s the universal truth that Monday is the worst day of their week.

🤍The beginning of the work week tends to arrive with anxiety, trepidation & fear and for most this seems to creeps in on the Sunday.

🤍Traditionally Sundays is set aside to rest, relax, and recharge. A day that really shouldn’t be spent worrying about Monday, but due to the demands of modern life & the pressure of motivation Monday’s naturally stirs up all kinds of anxiety & irritability.

🤍In all honesty for the first time in many years I’ve been feeling it. It’s been the craziest and full on few weekends and by the Sunday night it has been all coming to a ‘head’ where I’ve literally been feeling awful.

⭐️Here’s a few ways I’ve been successfully overcoming it:

1. Being more mindfully present. When I’ve felt those worries ‘creep in’ I’ve been bringing myself back to the present moment - whether it’s cleaning, watching a movie, reading, spending time with the kids, eating - I’ve been 💯 in it and focusing on the positives of life.

2. Looking at making Mondays less tedious by spreading the challenging tasks throughout the week by leaving bigger work/personal projects until after Monday & later in the week. Having a good Monday and doing small things send to be better than putting unnecessary pressure & stress on oneself.
3. Using the ‘feel good’ momentum of Monday to plan in breaks and ‘joyful’ things for the week ahead and weekend. Taking breaks, meeting friends for a coffee, doing something creative etc adds a different dimension to each day which keeps it productive but fun.
4. Visualise your Monday/week ahead. Close your eyes and imagine having the best week ie: getting your tasks completed, smiling, taking breaks, feeling confident, overcoming challenges, hitting your goals etc

What do you do to overcome the ‘Sunday scaries’? Comment below for your top tip! 🙌🏽

14/09/2021

🤭During my early twenties I was never really big on ‘communicating effectively’.

I spoke alot but didn’t really listen.
This worked against in me in many ways firstly because a big part of effective communication is non verbal.

During the weekend I spent some time with my son whilst the girls were at a party. I vowed to actively listen and ask questions but not be quick to give my opinion or advice.

It made a huge difference to say the least, sometimes as mothers we feel we always need to give an opinion or advice to every single problem in work and life.

But really as I’ve learnt over the many years - the most effective communication is listening to be heard and to be understood.

As a recovering ‘people pleaser’ the natural response is to always try and fix the problem or be ‘answer’ ready.

Many of us have lost our ‘hearing’ as silence and pause within communication becomes a scare resource.

Learning to just actively listen has given more space to have authentic growth and c***ection. Firstly because giving our full attention to a conversation allows us to converse with intentional responses but also because the emotions evoked during a really good conversation can help us find deeper meaning.

Positive psychology research highlights how pleasant social interactions increase our personal well-being and provide greater life satisfaction. One of the easiest ways to increase our well-being is via listening—actually listening.

Here are some ‘active listening’ cues to follow:

1. Nodding
2. Paying 💯 attention
3. Clarifying what you don’t understand (not assuming)
4. Paraphrasing what has been said
5. Focus on listening rather than responding
6. Open posture
7. Maintaining eye contact
8. Encouraging the speaker to continue to express with small comments
9. Observing the non verbal behaviours
10. Reflecting feelings

How many of these do you do?

***ectionmatters

11/09/2021

💁🏽‍♀️Do you run on empty on busy days?

This is my first meal of the day. 🙁

Despite doing a work out this morning I’ve been running on empty and fuelled by caffeine & 💧.

I tried my best to get something nutritious in but in between birthdays, chauffeuring the kids, not being able to do a pit stop and keeping to my family commitments I wasn’t conscious to the fact that I hadn’t eaten until I got home and felt light headed. I only had a few bites of an apple whilst out and about.

Sometimes things happen and whilst we do our best ~ things do fall to the wayside on some days.

There will be times when you are torn between committing to your needs and your responsibilities as a mother.

It’s all a learning curve and the more we practice reflection, patience and understanding the better we become at responding than reacting to frustration as a result of a different outcome.

Today I’ve learnt that I did need to prepare myself in advance, manage my time a bit more effectively and not get distracted mostly thinking about what the kids needs before I’ve figured out what I need in order to function.

Most days this happens but sometimes it falls apart for it to make sense and come together.

Being a mother is not your identity. It’s a part of your responsibility.
And there are 3 things I’ve come to realise:

1. Acknowledging how parenting affects you is important ie how the different aspects of motherhood bring up feelings of frustration, guilt and overwhelm.
2. Let go of perfection ie let go of the guilt you feel when you cannot be the mum you want to be that day. You're doing the best you can.
3. Make time to take care of your needs. When you do get a moment from the craziness- take solitude and hide. It’s ok to want some peace or just eat in my case!

Drop a 🧡 in the comments if you can relate.

07/09/2021

So the kids went back to school last week and I realised how out of sync we’d all become with our morning routine.. yes it’s natural but it also felt much more stressful - not just for me but for my kids too.

As a mother routines have supported me through the most stressful times in my life and given me a structure that offers consistency, prioritises my needs and the needs of the family and improved my productivity and my overall home/work life. This was extremely apparent during Covid-19.

The reason I post this is because my kids constructed a morning routine after witnessing how effective it has been in my life over the years. As we know kids don’t learn from what we say but what we do.

The benefits of a good routine (morning & evening) has given us all a sense of stability, security and control over our environment.

The kids have developed essential life skills from getting dressed and preparing breakfast to learning how the world works in order to interact successfully alongside key time management skills!

A simple daily routine provides the basis for children to learn and grow but also for us mothers to manage our energy more effectively, look after our personal needs (physical & emotional), foster harmony through self regulation, practice patience, grounding and create more moments that make us feel less guilty for leaving the kids and increased gratitude for following our life goals/dreams. It’s definitely unleashes a sense of confidence in oneself.

As mothers it’s important to value our inter-dependence from our responsibilities as mothers. After all we also aspire to want more from life.

Bottom line: A workable simple routine benefits EVERYONE.

How have you benefited from a great routine?

🌱

23/08/2021

Are you mixing up ‘Doing your Best with Perfectionism?

When we talk about doing ‘our best’ as women it can end up becoming quite of a blurry discussion. Because more often the idea of perfectionism rears it’s ugly head.

Here’s a few questions that help with doing your best imperfectly:

1. Do you live your life meaningfully?
2. Do you take intentional actions around your goals?
3. Do you always do your best under any circumstance?
4. Do you hold more attachment to the outcome than to the progress?
5. Do you acknowledge yourself when you know you’ve done your best?
6. What does ‘doing your best’ look & feel like?
7. Do you feel super disappointed when things don’t go well?

Remember:

You can aim high but you don’t have to aim towards unrealistic standards.

You can be consistent without trying to be consistently perfect

You can have a big vision & still keep your goals at a more manageable and actionable level

The point is ‘Doing your Best’ is not doing everything perfectly right
It’s doing it so you can make the best progress to get the best results/outcome. Developing the right mental attitude is key to this.

Aim High and Do Everything In Your Control to Become Your Best Self.

What’s your perspective?

21/08/2021

💝This is my body

🌸This is not a perfect body.

🤰🏽This is my postpartum body

🌸Let’s not forget the mother’s who still feel uncomfortable with their bodies
🌸Who find it hard to accept all their physical ‘flaws’.
🌸Who don’t see their stretch marks as ‘tiger stripes’.
🌸Who find it difficult to look at their ‘loose’ skin & cellulite
🌸Who feel that their everyday confidence rests on how they look
🌸Who feel judged by how they appear
🌸Who try their best to stay fit and healthy and yet don’t see the ‘physical’ results they are wanting.
🌸Who pressurise themselves to diet & train to try have a body that doesn’t exist IRL
🌸Who don’t see their beauty as skin deep but see it as something that’s external to themselves
🌸Who feel like their bodies have been ‘ruined’ by having child(ren)
🌸Who want to step out wearing what they feel comfortable in but fear being criticised.
🌸Let’s not forget these mothers
Because whilst we see ‘snapback’, ‘comeback’ & ‘revenge’ bodies plastered all over our social media feeds

💖There are mothers out there fighting a body acceptance battle everyday
💝These women deserve a voice too

I was one of those women ❣️

💖Don’t feel ashamed or guilty for not being able to feel confident in your body after having children.
It’s a journey and I’m here to support you.

Drop a 💖 below if this resonates with you.

19/08/2021

❤️‍🩹When something goes wrong, do you tend to bounce back or fall apart?

🧡Do you harness inner strength that helps you rebound from a setback or challenge, such as a job loss, illness, a relationship breakdown or a loved one's death?

💔Perhaps, you feel you lack inner strength e.g you might dwell on problems for very long, feel victimized, become overwhelmed easily or turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as addictive behaviours?

💙Developing inner strength won't make your problems go away — but it can give you the ability to see past them, find enjoyment in life and better handle stress.

The inner strength I’m referring too is Resilience.

❣️These past few months I’ve had to find the resilience to deal with a member of my family having an aggressive form of Cancer. Luckily my past experiences have supported my mindset around the situation.

💖Working on my inner strength has enabled me to cope with very life changing & difficult situations. Undertaking training in Resilience has allowed me to help other women successfully reframe their negative experiences.

💜The point is when stress, adversity or trauma strikes, you still experience anger, grief & pain, but you're able to keep functioning — both physically & psychologically.

🖤However, resilience isn't about putting up with something difficult, being stoic or figuring it out on your own. In fact, being able to reach out to others for support is a key part of being resilient.

Here are 4 ways to improve your INNER STRENGTH:
✅Build strong supportive relationships
✅ Learn from all your hardship experiences
✅ Do one thing everyday that gives you meaning/purpose
✅ Always remain hopeful and have faith.

⚒When was the last time you had to be resilient?

17/08/2021

Why it’s matters to know…. If you are surrendering or giving up!

Ok so in life there are occasions where we need to walk away from relationships, careers, a dream or even a place where you’ve lived all your life. Sometimes we have to walk away from what we’ve known to be all our lives.

With life’s ebbs and flows surrenfing helps us put a temporary space between ourselves and a person, situation or goal.

Surrending aloes abundance to flow into our life by keeping the door open enough to create a change, bring in hope, clarity or a new perspective.

Surrending more often brings peace whereas giving up can be mirrored feeling of emptiness, guilt & shame.

Even if you do walk away from something or someone forever, our ability to ‘surrender’ into what is feels much less like failure and allows you to walk away gradually to better process the experience and your emotions.

Most things in life exist in a ‘grey’ area. The I don’t know what I don’t know. Therefore Surrender feels moderate or balanced, and giving up feels extreme or intense because it’s a much more black and white approach which often feel too extreme if you haven’t processed the emotions that arise from the situation. A gradual process of release & reflection is often required to totally let go and let it be. Surrending allows this process to take affect because more often it’s intuitive rather than a reactionary response cue breaking up with a partner or giving up on a career project.

Overall it’s ok to walk away when something is no longer serving you.

If there is a situation in your life in which you feel really stuck, the change you’re seeking might come only after surrendering.

WellNu Collective

22/10/2021

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26/09/2021

14/09/2021

11/09/2021

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