Ex Jehovah's Witness Counselling and Recovery

25/03/2026

Self care is a skill that needs to be learned.

Everyone's idea of self care will be slightly different but should always centred around a person putting their own needs first.

Whether it be mental health, physical, emotional or health needs, it is vital that a person feels able to prioritise their own well being when it is necessary.

If you have grown up in an environment that this is labelled as 'selfish' or 'sinful', even if you have been out for many years, it can be incredibly difficult to ignore that nagging voice and put yourself first, even occasionally.

It is important that you understand that your needs are just as important as those of others, and sometimes, believe it or not, they actually need to take priority.

Self care is NOT selfish. It is a vital part of being a happy, healthy version of yourself.

www.exjwcounselling.co.uk

18/03/2026

In this excellent video, a recent talk given by JW Governing Body member, Mark Sanderson, in Chile, is examined.

It exposes deception, manipulation of the truth, distortion of facts and outright lies.

It is a well thought out, calm, reasoned and well researched presentation of the despicable way that Jehovah's Witnesses around the world are deceived and misled in regard to what is happening in Norway.

Not only that, it exposes how these tactics are routinely used by the Governing Body to create a narrative that will ensure the rank and file members stay loyal, even if it bears no resemblance to actual reality.

Please watch and share.

https://youtu.be/_BK9m6XheRg?si=QH26clC4Rn14kR0w

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05/03/2026

Being a Jehovah's Witness involves committing yourself to uphold a very clear and important set of rules for living a life that Jehovah will approve of.

In addition to this, it is understood that a failure to meet these standards will result in consequences. Moreover, these are not trivial consequences. In fact, it usually boils down to a 'life and death' situation.

If you displease Jehovah, you die. If he approves of you then you could live (still no guarantee but at least your chances are improved).

But the sorts of behaviours that could attract these consequences are not necessarily huge things.

A woman turning up to a meeting wearing long trousers instead of a modest dress. A man attending the Hall with just the hint of a beard.

Either of these examples are likely to attract attention from the Elders.

A person could easily find themselves being spoken to in a way that makes them feel embarrassed or ashamed. This treatment could cause a person, very quickly, to start considering what Jehovah feels about them and now we are in the realms of the potential for a catastrophic outcome.

Think about the emotional and psychological trauma this is likely to cause for the person, who simply didn't meet the exacting standards on that occasion.

You cannot expect tolerance or understanding. You can expect judgement or belittling.

This makes me wonder what it must be like for a person to have experienced that as a Jehovah's Witness, and then find out that the rules have changed and it now doesn't matter if you wear trousers or have a beard?

I also wonder whether there will be any sort of acknowledgement of the effect it had on people in the past and an apology for causing them unnecessary harm.

29/09/2025

So, the Jehovah's Witness organisation collects donations from it's members.
It then uses those donations to purchase land where a new Kingdom Hall can be built.
It uses more of that donated money to purchase the materials required for building the new Hall.
It then enlists its members to provide free labour to transform the materials in to a shiny new Kingdom Hall.
Then, when it's all complete, the organisation owns the finished product and any profits that may come when it is ultimately sold.

What do you think?
Genius plan or exploitation of good people.

www.exjwcounselling.co.uk

20/03/2025

Anyone who is, or has ever been, one of Jehovah’s Witnesses knows—beyond any doubt—that the practice of shunning is very real.

Members are expected to sever ties with disfellowshipped individuals—now referred to as being “removed”—as well as with anyone who no longer identifies as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

This expectation is not ambiguous. It is explicit, unequivocal, and carries clear consequences for those who refuse to comply.

Everyone within the organization understands this reality.

Setting aside the inhumanity of such a practice, one must ask: how can the Governing Body publicly deny its existence?

Imagine, for a moment, the mental and emotional dissonance experienced by a Jehovah’s Witness who is praised for being “spiritually strong” for cutting off a son, daughter, sibling, parent, or lifelong friend—while simultaneously hearing their leaders assure courts and the wider world: “We do not promote shunning or divide families,” and “Anyone is free to leave, and family relationships will remain unaffected.”

This is not only dishonest—it is morally reprehensible.

Such conduct is shameful.
And to those who perpetuate it:

Shame on you!

www.exjwcounselling.co.uk

21/11/2024

With Jehovah's Witnesses it is required that you avoid a situations where a single man and woman may be alone together.

Apparently, it is not possible for an innocent friendship to develop. Fornication between these two unmarried witnesses is seemingly inevitable, which will displease Jehovah greatly.

This way of painting the situation is likely to have a long lasting impact on how a woman feels when in the company of other men, especially if there is nobody else present.

Even though here is nothing wrong with having a reasonable level of caution when around strangers, the fear of what may happen in these situations can, for some ex JW's, lead to crippling anxiety and a total withdrawal from any social interaction.

www.exjwcounselling.co.uk

04/11/2024

Judgement is a way of life when living as a Jehovah's Witness.
The bible is full of stories about how Jehovah reacted when he judged that things had not gone the way he would have wanted.
You are also told that Jehovah will be judging you in the same way, with similar consequences for non compliance.

Elders will make announcements from the platform in the form of 'local needs' that will highlight a particular behaviour that is judged to be unacceptable, along with the inevitable judgement from the congregation towards the person understood to have engaged in the questionable activity.

Judgement of you in your own home takes place, disguised as a 'shepherding call'.

Then if you see another JW acting in a way that is not becoming of a good Witness, you are expected to be very judgemental and report it so that the judgement can be passed on.

When you are exposed to this level of judgement in your life, the mindset of judging others becomes the norm. So it makes perfect sense that you are likely to be very judgemental of your self and your apparent failings.

This harsh inner voice is likely to follow you, even if you leave the organisation.

It is vital that you understand where that inner critic originated from and take steps to challenge it. You were not born with it. It has been inserted into your personality without your permission, and you have the power to remove it.

www.exjwcounselling.co.uk

22/10/2024

Acknowledging your anger is fundamental in setting effective boundaries.

If you learn to supress your anger, you will also learn to see what others are doing as 'acceptable'.

However, sometimes people will treat you in a way that is not 'acceptable' and your anger in those moments will not simply go away. So as more time passes and you reflect back on the situation, you are likely to turn that anger on yourself, rather than placing it at the feet of those that deserve it.

Acknowledging and expressing your anger is a healthy way of ensuring that you remain psychologically, and in some instances physically, safe.

Showing of anger does not automatically involve shouting or even raised voices. But simply saying, very calmly, 'I am not prepared to accept that..' is an expression of anger. If the anger is not acknowledged in those moments you are likely to start turning it on yourself in the form of negative self talk or self hatred.

It is vital to acknowledge your anger when it arises. It will always be there for a reason.

www.exjwcounselling.co.uk