Therapy With Helen

30/04/2026

When your person dies, the world can feel… off.

Not metaphorically.

Internally.

Your brain can understand they’re gone.
But your nervous system has been organised around them — their presence, their voice, their role in your life.

Attachment doesn’t disappear just because reality changed.

So your internal map shifts.

Time splits into Before and After.

Safety feels different.

Normal feels unfamiliar.

And then you look around and everything outside of you looks the same. People laugh. Shops open. Emails resume.

That mismatch can feel jarring. Like the world is misaligned.

If you’ve caught yourself thinking, “How is this still happening?” or “Why does everything feel slightly unreal?”

pause.

See if you can name it.

“This is disorientation.”
“This is my brain updating its map.”
“This is grief reorganising my world.”

When you can name what’s happening inside you, it often becomes less frightening.

Not easier.

Just less mysterious.

What have you noticed in your body when the world feels ‘wrong’?

27/04/2026

One of the most unsettling parts of grief isn’t always the sadness.

It’s the identity shift.

When someone dies, you don’t just lose them.

You lose the version of you that existed in relation to them.

Your nervous system had organised itself around that connection. Around their voice. Their presence. The role you played.

When that disappears, your system has to recalibrate.
And recalibration doesn’t feel calm or graceful.

It can feel like:
“Who the hell even am I now?”
More reactive.
More numb.
More anxious.
More shut down.
More raw.

Grief is not just emotional pain. It’s neurological adjustment. Your emotional GPS is trying to update to a world that no longer includes someone central to your sense of self.

That takes time.

If you don’t recognise yourself right now, that doesn’t mean you’re losing yourself.

It might mean you’re in the middle of becoming someone shaped by loss — and that is a disorienting process.

Have you had that “I don’t recognise myself” moment?

16/04/2026

Am I going mad? Why early grief feels so strange (and why you're not doing it wrong)

https://www.therapywithhelen.co.uk/post/am-i-going-mad-why-early-grief-feels-so-strange-and-why-you-re-not-doing-it-wrong

08/01/2026

If January already feels like too much, you didn’t miss a step.

This month asks us to reset, rebrand, and reinvent ourselves while it’s dark, cold, and our nervous systems are still recovering from a lot.

No wonder motivation feels scarce.

You don’t need to push harder.

You need steadiness before expansion.

I wrote a gentle January blog post for burnt-out, anxious, deeply responsible humans who are tired of being told to “just start.”

Link in bio if you need it.

08/01/2026

January gets a bad reputation for being unproductive — when really, it’s just honest.

This is a month that’s heavy, dark, and tender.

Expecting massive personal growth right now often creates more shame than change.

You’re allowed to move slowly.

You’re allowed to focus on keeping things running.

You’re allowed to rest without earning it.

I wrote a January blog post that works with your nervous system instead of against it.

Link in bio.

04/01/2026

04/01/2026

Here's the sneaky thing about January pressure: it often comes dressed as "positive change".

But when the message is "be better, starting now", your nervous system doesn't hear inspiration. It hears urgency. And urgency is not calming.

Thats when you get:

✨️ The urge to avoid everything
✨️ The inner critic warming up
✨️ The sudden desire to reorganise a drawer instead of starting anything else

Motivation doesn't disappear because you lack discipline. It disappears when your system doesn't feel safe enough to move.

So, if you're waiting to feel motivated before you begin, you might be waiting a while. What helps is more reassurance. And maybe snacks.

03/01/2026

Whether you are struggling with the overwhelm of life, have suffered a bereavement or whether you just aren't quite sure what is going on for you but would like to explore, I offer a safe, supportive space for you to navigate through your challenges using a blend of approaches tailored to suit you as an individual.

I began my counselling journey after my own experience of sudden loss, which led to much self-development and understanding of what the therapeutic process is like from the client perspective.

This gave me valuable insight into what I would offer as a counsellor and what I would avoid, as well as crucial lived experience of mental health presentations.

My approach is warm, connected and collaborative.

If you are looking for a down-to-earth and compassionate therapist, you can contact me via my website, email or text, to arrange an introductory call.

02/01/2026

If you are side-eyeing January from the sofa while wrapped up in a duvet then you have come to the right place!

When life is screaming at you that you need to change things about yourself, quick, yet you've barely had a second to finish a brew since Christmas, let me help.

I've created a FREE Gentle January Reset Guide that feels like validation and comfort.

Its okay that you aren't hitting the ground running. You're not meant to.

Check the link in my bio to download your guide.

02/01/2026

New Year, Same Nervous System (And Honestly? Thank God!)

New Year, Same Nervous System (And Honestly? Thank God)