01/11/2026
For a long time, I struggled with the idea of allowing myself to have fun, to laugh, to create beautiful memories and to genuinely enjoy life while missing a part of my heart so deeply.
There is a particular kind of grief in missing someone who is still alive, but no longer part of your everyday life. It’s like missing an organ you were never meant to live without.
And for a long time, I felt guilty for finding joy while carrying that kind of absence.
But I’ve learned something along the way.
An experience doesn’t have to be entirely good to be good. Just as a difficult chapter doesn’t mean life itself is bad.
Life is rarely all or nothing. We can experience joy and sadness, gratitude and grief, laughter and longing, sometimes all at the very same time.
I’ve come to understand that I am here to live. To have my own experiences. To embrace the moments that life offers me, rather than put my entire existence on hold for the things I cannot control.
This isn’t about forgetting, replacing or moving on from someone I love. It’s about choosing not to abandon myself in the process of missing them.
I don’t know when our paths will cross again, but in my heart, I believe they will.
And when that day comes, I’d much rather meet him as a woman and mother who has continued to grow, heal and live, than as someone who allowed the absence to consume her.
Because living with an empty space in your heart doesn’t mean you have to leave the rest of your life empty too.
My inner foundation has become stronger, and with that, making this choice gets a little easier every time.
Not because I miss him any less.
But because I’ve learned that I can miss someone with every fibre of my being and still choose to live.
And I am! ♥️💙❤️🩵
