06/08/2026
Trigger warning: pregnancy loss
This happened to us… again.
We didn’t tell many people about the pregnancy. Maybe 6, including our midwives. We were lucky enough to have two amazing midwives during that short-lived pregnancy. And amazing friends that supported us throughout. Life of living away from family ❤️
At our 8-week ultrasound, there was a healthy heartbeat and no concerns.
At our 13-week ultrasound, there was no heartbeat.
A missed miscarriage, they call it, because my body wasn’t letting go. Maybe mentally and emotionally I wasn’t either.
Baby had stopped growing shortly after the first scan, so for about a month I felt what I can only describe as fake pregnant. I still had the sickness, the exhaustion, and all the symptoms, while unknowingly carrying this loss.
I’m sharing this here rather than on my personal page because I love what I do, and this is exactly why I do it. Supporting families through pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and beyond is my passion. To be able to hold space for others, I also need to allow myself to be held and supported.
We move through these transitions together, not alone.
Pregnancy loss, no matter:
• what gestation you are (anything under 20 weeks),
• how many healthy living kid(s) you already have earthside,
• whether it is your first miscarriage or not,
is still a loss.
Stillbirths, abortions, ectopic pregnancies. They are all losses.
There is no “it’s okay,” no “it wasn’t meant to be,” no “at least…” and, for now, no “me too.” We would rather you simply sit with us in the loss, especially in the early days. Thank you.
I’m writing this to bring awareness again. Pregnancy loss is not talked about enough, yet it happens far more often than many of us realise or would like. It is not taboo, and sharing it is not asking for sympathy.
For me, this is about letting other families know that you are not alone, and that it is okay not to be okay. It is okay to grieve. Grief is part of the process.
We share birth stories. Happy ones and difficult ones, to connect, to create awareness, and to process our experiences. Pregnancy loss deserves that same space.
To the families I’m currently supporting, and to those whose appointments and classes I have had to cancel: I’m taking this time to be postpartum, to heal, to grieve, and to process. I’m also taking this time to keep answering my three-year-old’s questions:
“Is baby gone?”
“Is baby in a better place?”
Thank you for your understanding, your gentleness, and your support.
Ili x
