09/10/2026
I really haven’t shared much personal stuff lately, but this summer was kind of an absolute sh*t show for us on a personal level and I wanna talk about it for a sec.
Just a VERY broad overview, here’s what’s been going down:
Ourselves, and those we care about, experienced catastrophic loss in a variety of ways over these past few months and I am witnessing and experiencing grief in profound (and uncomfortable) new ways.
Wounds so deep I almost forgot they existed have been uncovered and are demanding attention…cool.
Our community has faced a variety of concerning things, that every parent dreads, impacting our children.
Our car sh*t the bed, our tractor sh*t the bed, our lawnmower is hanging on by a thread.
Oh, and I’m currently laying in bed after another spinal procedure — sore and grumpy, knowing that being a human pincushion is likely going to be my experience for the rest of my life.
And I'm going to be totally honest, our journey through these things hasn’t been pretty. We’re not forcing positive vibes and calm nervous systems only. Because these experiences — just like the beautiful, fun, exciting ones — deserve to be felt, they deserve to be lived. They demand it.
And so these months may have been filled with more gutteral crying than usual, there may have been an unhealthy number of sad songs blasted at a dangerous volume than usual, there may have been more visits to the therapist than usual, there may have been more deep stimming than usual, there may have been more unanswered texts and emails than usual…and I will apologize for none of it.
Allowing myself to shamelessly feel the hurt, also opens up doors to let me shamelessly feel the joy. Because lets be so for real, blocking emotional experiences isn’t a pick and choose. We might have convinced ourselves that we can ignore the pain, but when we do that, it always has a way of sneaking in and f***ing up the joy part.
And you know what, there’s actually still a lot of the joy part too. Like, I got to connect with people I hadn’t in a long time, I get to know loved ones are experiencing new opportunities and learning, I have more ways to build relationship with my children through meaningful conversation about important life lessons, I got a new car (still waiting on an awesome tractor company to sponsor us with some new machines), and despite being laid up the view from my bedroom window ain’t too bad. But all that goodness can be hard to see when we don’t make space for the yuckiness too.
Sending you all
