10/01/2026
The news coming out of Cornell University is horrifying.
And there is a conversation I need us to have:
We have failed when we teach people that consent simply means waiting to hear the word “no.”
Consent is not the absence of resistance.
Consent is not assuming someone is okay because they haven't stopped you.
Consent is not something you obtain once and keep indefinitely.
And someone who is incapacitated cannot give meaningful consent.
But consent education also has to go further than teaching people how to recognize a “yes.”
We need to teach people what to do when they see someone else’s autonomy being violated.
**Interrupt. Get help. Check on the person. Refuse to participate. Refuse to normalize it.**
And then we need to have a much harder conversation about accountability.
Accountability has to mean more than writing an essay.
Education is not a substitute for consequences.
Reflection is not restitution.
Completing an assignment does not undo harm, demonstrate behavioral change, or automatically make someone safe.
When allegations of s*xual violence arise, institutions have a responsibility to respond seriously, follow fair investigative processes, protect the rights of everyone involved, support survivors, and impose meaningful consequences when misconduct is established.
Because accountability isn't supposed to be about finding the easiest requirement someone can complete so everyone can move forward.
Accountability should require something of you.
It should require confronting the harm caused.
It should require changed behavior.
It should require meaningful consequences when wrongdoing is established.
It should require institutions to examine the environments that allowed harmful behavior to be normalized, encouraged, ignored, or minimized.
And it should require us to stop confusing “they completed the requirement” with “they have been held accountable.”
When consequences for s*xual misconduct are treated like another assignment to complete, we send a message far beyond the people directly involved.
We teach everyone watching how seriously, or how unserious, we are willing to treat s*xual harm.
Because s*xual violence doesn't exist only because someone chooses to harm another person.
It is also enabled by cultures where objectification becomes entertainment, boundaries become jokes, intoxication becomes an excuse, and everyone else learns to look away.
This is why comprehensive s*x education matters.
Because we desperately need to teach:
• consent
• bodily autonomy
• communication
• intoxication + capacity
• s*xual ethics
• healthy masculinity
• bystander intervention
• accountability
• respect for another person's humanity
S*x education isn't just about preventing pregnancy and STIs.
It is about teaching people how to exist s*xually with other human beings without causing harm.
*xualWellness
