07/28/2026
Today, I take a pause...I'm not okay.
I lost a patient today.
When you work in addiction and things go well for years, when you haven't lost someone in a long time, you almost forget, or maybe you just push it to the back of your mind, that it can still happen.
I tried to hold it together, but I couldn't. I've been a mess today. I keep thinking about our last visit. The laughter. How proud they were of their sobriety. How hopeful things seemed.
Then I had to remind myself that there were still others waiting for me, others still fighting their own battles. So I gathered myself as best I could and walked into the next visit. I tried to be present and stay focused. I hope I did.
Honestly, I don't remember much of what was said today. I just hope I was effective and that each person got what they needed. If I fell short, forgive me. I'll try again tomorrow.
But today, I'll go home, grieve for a while, and allow myself to be human. I think that's okay.
Loss is one of the hardest parts of this work. But so is hope. Tomorrow, I'll carry both with me.
