Evie Shafner, LMFT

Evie Shafner, LMFT As a Marriage & Family Counselor specializing in Imago Therapy, I provide services ranging from couples to individual therapy for all seeking healing.

Imago therapy is an amazing relationship technology that very quickly gets us back to safe communication and experiencing our partner as a source of emotional safety, and passionate friendship. In my 35 years of working with couples as a specialty, Imago is the best system I have known to get us back to that feeling that we had in the beginning of our relationship. Its structured communication tec

hniques distinguish it from all other types of couples therapy. the process itself feels very nonthreatening to both partners. I believe the only part of us that is real, our essence, cannot be harmed and no matter what has happened to us, with compassionate coaching and support, we can take the helm of our own lives and learn to move towards the peace and happiness we long for. Watch Evie discuss her practice and Imago Therapy here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rf81SPNe-JY

09/04/2026

Every day, you’re making a deposit into your partner’s memory bank. ⁣
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The way you treat them, the small moments of care, the sharp words in an argument, the times you showed up versus the times you didn’t, all of it gets stored. And over time, those memories become the lens they see you through.⁣
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In this great interview with Harville Hendrix & Helen Hunt, they talk about how we’re not just reacting to our partners in the moment, we’re literally shaping the archive of memories they carry about us. The good news? That means we get to choose, every single day, whether we’re building a bank of safety and warmth, or one of hurt and distance.⁣
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Source: Nick Solaczek⁣
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Emotional safety is what allows two people to actually be known by each other.⁣⁣If your relationship needs a tune-up, pl...
09/01/2026

Emotional safety is what allows two people to actually be known by each other.⁣
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If your relationship needs a tune-up, please visit my website at www.evieshafner.com for more information on therapy or to schedule a consultation. Now seeing clients virtually and in person!⁣
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You know you love each other, but you are living in a parallel relationship - like an invisible divorce- without that se...
08/28/2026

You know you love each other, but you are living in a parallel relationship - like an invisible divorce- without that sense of aliveness and excitement about being in the world together; you feel afraid to bring stuff up because you’ve been down that road before and the conversation has not gone well; you feel an ongoing sense of resentment, and feel continually not listened to and misunderstood.⁣
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None of this means the relationship is broken beyond repair, it means it’s time to learn how to talk to each other again. If this sounds familiar, I’d love to help. If your relationship needs a tune-up, please visit my website at www.evieshafner.com for more information on therapy or to schedule a consultation. Now seeing clients virtually and in person!

Sometimes the greatest barrier to growth isn’t a lack of opportunity - it’s the inability to face the truth about oursel...
08/26/2026

Sometimes the greatest barrier to growth isn’t a lack of opportunity - it’s the inability to face the truth about ourselves.⁣

You can encourage, support, and love someone deeply, but you can’t do their inner work for them. Growth only happens when they’re willing to stop running and start looking inward.⁣
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Source: Lewis Huckstep - Purpose & Identity Coach⁣
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Compassion is THE healing energy of life, so it behooves us all to practice it in the place we live every day- our life ...
08/21/2026

Compassion is THE healing energy of life, so it behooves us all to practice it in the place we live every day- our life with our partner.⁣
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My husband and I live by a quote from the Dalai Lama as the mission and vision working principle of our marriage “Be kind whenever possible. It is ALWAYS possible.” Even if you adopted this all by yourself you could transform the energy that lives in the space between you, the space you both love in. ⁣
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Using this as your guideline, you will always know what to do. And remember, we don’t have to feel like doing something to do it. We can practice compassion even if our partner is behaving unconsciously.⁣

Marriage researcher John Gottman says the four horseman of the apocalypse, or the things, that if not changed will most ...
08/21/2026

Marriage researcher John Gottman says the four horseman of the apocalypse, or the things, that if not changed will most certainly lead to divorce are: criticism, contempt, stonewalling and defensiveness. They erode our sense of emotional safety and our partner starts to feel like our enemy. And what do we want to do with the enemy? Destroy them.⁣
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When we don’t have reasonable expectations - I.e., we expect our partner to meet all our needs all the time and act badly when they don’t;  if we cannot handle the normal disappointments that come with living with a person who thinks and does things differently than we do, and when we are not our partners cheerleader and have their back - all of these things erode a marriage, and then we start thinking we made a mistake, and want to find someone who can give us those things. ⁣
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I believe we can change the behaviors that have gotten in the way of those good feelings we had in the beginning. If you truly are interested in becoming a source of safety for your partner - and they you- you can get back to that place of connection and aliveness.

08/18/2026

So the secret to a happy marriage is... just don’t talk? 😅⁣
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If only it were that easy. As humorous as this is, it does make a case that what you don’t say is just as important as what you do. ⁣
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The strongest couples don’t avoid communication - they’ve learned how to communicate in ways that build safety instead of distance. The goal isn’t to have fewer conversations. It’s to have better ones.⁣
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If your relationship needs a tune-up, please visit my website at www.evieshafner.com for more information on therapy or to schedule a consultation. Now seeing clients virtually and in person!⁣
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Conflict is growth trying to happen. We are only attracted to someone who is going to trigger us; basically hold up a mi...
08/14/2026

Conflict is growth trying to happen. We are only attracted to someone who is going to trigger us; basically hold up a mirror to show us where we are in some of our unconscious ways or responding when we feel hurt, triggered, misunderstood. ⁣
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Our conscious mind wants to always be in the romantic phase, have all our needs met, but the deeper purpose of marriage, or the committed relationship, is to grow up and heal so we are going to pick just the right person who is going to put us in that crucible so the real work can begin. ⁣
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If you can wrap your mind around that idea - say yes, in effect, to the deeper reason you chose your partner, you can have the relationship of your dreams. All of life is about growing and expanding and bettering ourselves and so psychologically and/or spiritually we’re going to pick just the right person who is going to call on us to grow. ⁣
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So maybe by healing these places of struggle, this is a way we can contribute to healing the world, one relationship at a time. ⁣
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Relationships don’t thrive on love alone. They thrive on what love looks like in action.⁣⁣Attention says, “I see you.”
I...
08/13/2026

Relationships don’t thrive on love alone. They thrive on what love looks like in action.⁣
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Attention says, “I see you.”
Intention says, “I choose you.”
Commitment says, “I’m here, even when it’s hard.”⁣
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When all three are present, trust grows, connection deepens, and love has the foundation it needs to last.⁣
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If your relationship needs a tune-up, please visit my website at www.evieshafner.com for more information on therapy or to schedule a consultation. Now seeing clients virtually and in person!⁣
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Source: Dan Rosenfeld • Dating Coach & Psychologist⁣
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08/07/2026

Source: Jillian Turecki⁣
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You deserve and need to be adored by the person you love and adore, too. Anything less is profoundly settling. Anything less will not work. Reciprocal feelings of gratitude and appreciation are essential for a relationship to thrive.

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