Maya Nehru Coaching

Maya Nehru Coaching Therapist for the ‘pleasers’ & ‘I’m fine’-ers. You ignore your needs…then resent it later. I help you stop abandoning yourself.

These six boundaries might seem SO small to you that they almost feel silly.But if you’re used to being available, accom...
09/11/2026

These six boundaries might seem SO small to you that they almost feel silly.

But if you’re used to being available, accommodating, productive, and easy to be around, they might actually feel kind of scary and impossible.

People-pleasing can train you to override yourself before you’ve even had a chance to figure out what you actually want or need.

And that’s why I love micro-boundaries.

They give you a chance to interrupt the automatic response.

To create a little space between “What will make them happy?” and “What actually works for me?”

You don’t have to become someone who never cares what other people think.

You’re just practicing not making their comfort the deciding factor every single time.

And sometimes 20 minutes before responding to a text is where how you can start to take back some of your power.

Save this for the next time you notice yourself about to say yes before you’ve even checked in with yourself. It’ll help!

And since you’re here, you might as well grab your coffee and stay a while!

I work with adults in Washington & California navigating anxiety, people-pleasing, boundaries, and relationship patterns. You can learn more about working with me through the link in my bio.

You can be with someone who loves you, chooses you, and consistently shows up for you…and STILL find yourself looking fo...
09/10/2026

You can be with someone who loves you, chooses you, and consistently shows up for you…and STILL find yourself looking for signs that something is wrong.

Maybe their text feels a little different.

They’re quieter than usual.

They seem distracted.

And before anything has actually happened, your brain is already trying to figure out what changed.

Are we okay?
Did I do something?
Are they pulling away?

So you start collecting information.

You pay closer attention to their tone. You notice how affectionate they’re being. You reread a text. You ask if everything is okay.

And even when they say, “Yeah, we’re good,” sometimes the relief only lasts for a little while (if at all).

This is one of the most confusing parts of relationship anxiety.

You can have a safe relationship and still have a nervous system that’s gotten REALLY good at watching for changes in connection.

And all that monitoring can make it pretty hard to actually enjoy the safety you have.

Part of the work is noticing the moment you start searching for evidence and getting curious about what you’re afraid that evidence might tell you.

Can I let them be quiet without making it mean something about us?

Can I tolerate not knowing exactly what they’re thinking?

Can I trust what I already know about this relationship without checking again?

That’s where we start building something different. 🤍

Save this for the next time someone you love seems a little “off” and your brain immediately starts investigating.

I work with adults in Washington & California navigating anxiety, people-pleasing, boundaries, and relationship patterns. Learn more about working with me through the link in my bio.

Sometimes growing into yourself means becoming someone your family didn’t expect.And that can bring a lot of guilt.Espec...
09/09/2026

Sometimes growing into yourself means becoming someone your family didn’t expect.

And that can bring a lot of guilt.

Especially if you grew up believing that being a “good” daughter meant being respectful, keeping the peace, considering your family in your decisions, and appreciating everything they sacrificed for you.

So when you start making choices they don’t understand or agree with, it can feel like you’re doing something wrong.

You might find yourself over-explaining your decisions, trying to get them to understand, softening what you really want, or wondering whether choosing yourself makes you selfish or ungrateful.

I know because I’ve felt it, too.

You can love your family deeply and still need space to discover who you are outside their expectations.

A little distance is part of that. Not because you love them less or want to cut them off, but because you need room to hear your own voice without filtering everything through:

What will they think?
Will they be disappointed?
Am I allowed to want this?

You’re allowed to build a life that feels like yours even when the people you love would have chosen differently for you.

Save this for the next time choosing yourself feels like disappointing your family.

I work with adults in Washington & California navigating anxiety, people-pleasing, boundaries, relationships, and family expectations. Learn more about working with me through the link in my bio.

Did you know that your inner people-pleaser was born from survival? From needing to be liked to feel safe.From believing...
09/08/2026

Did you know that your inner people-pleaser was born from survival?
From needing to be liked to feel safe.
From believing peace meant keeping everyone else comfortable, even if it cost you your own.

Healing for the people-pleaser in you means realizing that love & over-functioning aren’t the same thing.

Follow me for more soft phrases and eye-opening insights on people -pleasing. I promise you’ll like it here! 😉

I’m currently accepting new clients in Washington & California for therapy around anxiety, people-pleasing, boundaries, and relationship patterns. You can learn more about working with me through the link in my bio.
peoplepleasingrecovery

If you’re used to monitoring everyone’s moods, emotional safety can feel almost…suspicious at first.You’re waiting for t...
09/06/2026

If you’re used to monitoring everyone’s moods, emotional safety can feel almost…suspicious at first.

You’re waiting for the passive-aggressive comment.

The change in tone.

The “I’m fine” that very clearly means I am not fine and you should probably figure out why.

So when someone can simply say:

“I’m having a hard day. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Or, “I’m disappointed, but I respect your decision.”

Or even, “We’re okay.”

…it can feel like a completely different way of relating.

Because when you’ve spent years believing that someone else’s discomfort means you need to do something, emotionally safe relationships give you a new experience:

Someone can be upset without you fixing it.

Someone can be disappointed without you changing your mind.

You can have conflict without immediately fearing disconnection.

And you don’t have to keep someone happy to keep them close.

That last one is a BIG part of the work of unlearning people-pleasing.

Save this for the next time someone’s mood has you wondering what you did wrong.

And if you’re realizing how much energy you spend monitoring other people’s moods, avoiding disappointment, or trying to make sure everyone is okay, this is exactly the kind of work we can do together in therapy.

I’m currently accepting new clients in Washington & California for therapy around anxiety, people-pleasing, boundaries, and relationship patterns. You can learn more about working with me through the link in my bio.

If you can tell someone’s energy is “off” within approximately 0.3 seconds…this one’s probably for you. 😝 They’re quiete...
09/05/2026

If you can tell someone’s energy is “off” within approximately 0.3 seconds…this one’s probably for you. 😝

They’re quieter than usual.

Their text seems a little shorter.

They didn’t respond the way you expected.

And suddenly you’re doing a full investigation in your head:

Did I say something?
Was I annoying?
Should I ask if they’re okay?
Should I apologize?
Are they mad at me??

When you’re used to paying close attention to other people’s moods, even a tiny shift can feel like something you need to DO something about.

So you check. You explain. You become extra nice. You replay the conversation. You look for reassurance that everything between you is okay. 😮‍💨

And over time, you can get really good at managing relationships this way.

But it’s exhausting to feel like every change in someone’s mood requires a response from you.

This is something I spend a lot of time helping clients untangle in therapy: noticing what belongs to you, what belongs to the other person, and what happens inside of you when you don’t immediately rush in to make things okay.

Sometimes they WILL be upset with you.

Sometimes you WILL disappoint someone.

Sometimes you won’t know what they’re thinking.

And learning that you can tolerate those moments without immediately fixing, apologizing, or abandoning yourself can change the way you show up in your relationships.

Save this for the next time someone seems “off” and your brain decides it must be about you.

I work with adults in Washington & California navigating anxiety, people-pleasing, boundaries, and relationship patterns. You can learn more about working with me through the link in my bio.

I’m just going to say it….some of the hardest boundaries in dating are the ones that feel a little…”mean.”Not answering ...
09/03/2026

I’m just going to say it….some of the hardest boundaries in dating are the ones that feel a little…”mean.”

Not answering right away.

Saying no to a last-minute plan.

Asking what they’re actually looking for.

Not sleeping with someone before you’re ready.

Keeping the plans you already made instead of dropping everything because they’re free.

Deciding you don’t want to keep seeing someone—even when they’re perfectly nice.

If you’re used to people-pleasing, these things can feel selfish because you’ve learned to pay VERY close attention to how your choices affect other people.

So instead of asking:

“What do I actually want here?”

You might automatically ask:

“Will they think I’m difficult?”
“Am I being too picky?”
“Should I just give it another chance?”
“What if they lose interest?”

And that’s how dating can quietly become less about getting to know someone and more about managing their perception of you.

The work isn’t becoming less caring.

It’s learning that you can care about someone’s feelings without making every decision around them.

You’re not dating to prove you’re easy to love.

You’re dating to find out whether you actually like the relationship you’re building, too. 🤍

I work with adults in Washington & California navigating anxiety, people-pleasing, boundaries, and relationship patterns. You can learn more about working with me through the link in my bio.

You might be calling yourself “easygoing” when you’re actually just really good at disappearing in your relationships.Yo...
09/02/2026

You might be calling yourself “easygoing” when you’re actually just really good at disappearing in your relationships.

You don’t ask for much.

You’re flexible.

You’re the friend who “doesn’t care where we eat.”

You’re really good at understanding why someone acted the way they did…even when it hurt you.

And maybe you even feel a little proud of how low-maintenance you are.

Until you realize how much energy you’re spending making yourself easy for other people to be around.

Because somewhere along the way, you may have learned that being loved meant being agreeable. Understanding. Helpful. Not too needy. Not too difficult.

So now you instinctively adjust yourself before anyone ever has to ask.

And THAT’S the part of people-pleasing I think we need to talk about more.

The work isn’t becoming less caring or considerate.

It’s learning that you don’t have to make yourself easier to love in order to be loved.

And sometimes that means having a preference. Having a need. Being misunderstood. Taking up a little more space.

Even when someone else would prefer the easier version of you. 🤍

I work with adults in Washington & California navigating anxiety, people-pleasing, boundaries, and relationship patterns. You can learn more about working with me through the link in my bio.

Address

Los Angeles, CA

Telephone

+13109058033

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Maya Nehru Coaching posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Practice

Send a message to Maya Nehru Coaching:

Shortcuts

Featured

Share