Frances Barry Child Psychotherapy

Frances Barry Child Psychotherapy Helping children navigate overwhelming emotions of anger and anxiety.

Helping your child develop social skills can feel like a big task, but it’s really just about practice and patience. Thi...
02/28/2025

Helping your child develop social skills can feel like a big task, but it’s really just about practice and patience. Think how nervous many adults feel walking into a party where they don’t know anyone. It’s the same for kids—they need opportunities to practice connecting with others, and over time, it gets easier. These skills, like making new friends, joining a group, and resolving conflicts, are learned through experience and guidance.

For kids to enjoy playing with others, they first need to learn how to navigate social situations. How do they join a group of kids already playing? How do they get a friend’s attention? The answer often depends on the situation. If a friend is reading quietly, maybe a gentle tap on the shoulder works. If a group of kids are sprinting across the playground, they’ll need another way to connect. These are all skills you can help them develop.

Younger children naturally focus on themselves, so it’s up to you as a parent to guide them in understanding and considering others’ feelings:

When you’re playing board or card games together and your child cheats, gently point out that while it might be fun to cheat with you, their friends might not want to play if they do the same.

When your child plays with others, step in with gentle suggestions to help them navigate cooperation. Maybe they can take turns being the cashier in pretend store play or alternate roles in a game. Pay attention to what your child does well and where they might struggle. The best way to teach is by doing—when playing with them one-on-one, find ways to help them practice the skills they find most challenging.

Social skills take time and practice to develop, and every child’s journey will look different. Play is a wonderful learning conduit to help them grow these skills in a way that feels natural and fun. Over time, the lessons they learn will shape their ability to build meaningful relationships that last a lifetime.

No relationship is perfect, especially between parents and children. Arguments, misunderstandings, and even shouting mat...
02/18/2025

No relationship is perfect, especially between parents and children. Arguments, misunderstandings, and even shouting matches happen—it’s part of being human. But what really matters, is how you repair the rupture. When you take the initiative to mend things with your child, you’re showing them that no matter how tough things get, your bond is never broken. Repairing strengthens your connection, teaches your child about emotional regulation, and helps them develop the skills they’ll need to navigate their own relationships as they grow.

It’s important to wait until everyone is calm before addressing the situation. If emotions flare up again, take a break and try later. Apologize for your role in the conflict, even if your child’s behavior triggered your reaction. For example, you might say, “I’m sorry I yelled. I wish I had handled that differently.” Reflect together on what led to the rupture—was there simmering frustration or an ongoing issue? Use this as an opportunity to identify early warning signs and discuss how similar situations could be handled better next time.

Ruptures are a chance to model accountability and repair for your child. This helps them see that it’s okay to make mistakes, but it’s also important to own up to them and make amends. When they witness you saying, “I’m sorry. I wish I had reacted differently. Can we talk?” you’re giving them the tools to do the same in their relationships.

The goal isn’t to avoid conflict entirely—that’s unrealistic. What matters is showing your child that your relationship is strong enough to withstand challenges and that every repair is a step toward a deeper bond.

Need help navigating the process of rupture and repair with your child? Send me a message or give me a call—I’m here to help. (310) 487-6061

When a parent is emotionally connected to their child, it says, “I’m here for you.” This unshakable bond helps children ...
02/15/2025

When a parent is emotionally connected to their child, it says, “I’m here for you.” This unshakable bond helps children develop emotional resilience, empathy, and open communication skills. Building these small habits creates a safe space for your child to feel supported and connected to you—every step of the way.

Do your kids dread chores? They’re not alone!Most of us—kids and adults—have a gut reaction to the word “chores.” It’s n...
02/10/2025

Do your kids dread chores? They’re not alone!

Most of us—kids and adults—have a gut reaction to the word “chores.” It’s no wonder kids resist completing them. But here’s the truth: household responsibilities help children develop essential life skills, build self-worth, and learn how to contribute to something bigger—their family.

Completing household tasks may not always be fun, but it teaches kids about responsibility, time management, and how to do things even when they’re boring—skills they’ll need throughout life. That is why I believe children should contribute to completing household tasks without being financially compensated. Save this post of strategies to make tasks (yes, tasks—not chores) a little easier for everyone.

One of the most rewarding parts of my work is being able to support parents—especially when parenting feels overwhelming...
02/06/2025

One of the most rewarding parts of my work is being able to support parents—especially when parenting feels overwhelming or uncertain.

So often, I see parents who are hard on themselves, doubting their abilities or feeling like they’re the only ones struggling. I’m here to remind them: you are not alone.

I love creating a space where parents can:
→ Share how hard parenting can feel (because it really can be).
→ Brainstorm new ways to respond to challenging moments.
→ Celebrate small shifts—like trying something different and seeing a change in their child’s behavior, mood, or the family dynamic.

Parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about small, intentional changes that build on each other. Seeing a parent’s relief when they realize they can navigate these moments or hearing their joy when things start to improve is one of the reasons I love this work so much.

Has parenting felt tough lately? Send me a message or give me a call—I’m here to help you feel supported. (310) 487-6061

Gratitude is a powerful skill that can shape a child’s mindset and positively impact their future. Small moments of appr...
01/28/2025

Gratitude is a powerful skill that can shape a child’s mindset and positively impact their future. Small moments of appreciation add up, fostering a mindset that values relationships, experiences, and the world around us. Save this post for practical ways to encourage gratitude in your children!

Today is all about freeing your mind to explore endless possibilities! Imagination fuels joy, curiosity, and connection—...
01/19/2025

Today is all about freeing your mind to explore endless possibilities! Imagination fuels joy, curiosity, and connection—so why not make the most of it? Here are some fun, interactive ideas to spark your creativity and bond with your child:

🎨 Scribble & Create
Take turns closing your eyes and drawing a short scribble line on a piece of paper. Then, let the other transform it into a masterpiece!

✍️ Tag-Team Storytelling
Start a story with your child by writing the first line, let them write the second, and keep going back and forth. Who knows where your combined imaginations will take you?

📖 Reimagine Endings
Take their favorite book or movie and dream up a brand-new ending. What if Cinderella never lost her slipper? What if the hero made a completely different choice?

🍽️ Flip the Script
Shake up your routines! Have dinner in the morning, eat standing up or on the floor, or use spoons instead of forks. The sillier, the better!

🧸 Puppet Playtime
Create puppets and put on a show. You can use socks, paper bags, or even your hands to tell a magical story.

The sky is the limit! Let your creativity soar and embrace the fun of thinking outside the box. Which activity are you excited to try with your family today? Let me know how it goes! 👇

During crises like wildfires, children might not always be able to articulate their feelings of fear or anxiety. They ma...
01/17/2025

During crises like wildfires, children might not always be able to articulate their feelings of fear or anxiety. They may express their struggles through actions instead of words. Here are some behaviors to watch for that could indicate your child is struggling to cope:

Avoidance of activities they usually enjoy or reluctance to try anything new.
School resistance—refusing to attend, avoiding homework, or withdrawing socially.
Emotional or physical irritability, restlessness or tiredness.
Changes in sleep patterns or difficulties focusing.

If your child does share their worries directly—such as saying, “I’m scared the fire will reach our house,” it’s crucial to acknowledge their feelings. Acknowledging their anxiety opens the door for discussion. This doesn’t mean letting anxiety control their lives, but rather finding ways to manage and get through it together.

Therapy can help your child recognize their fears and develop strategies to manage or problem-solve through their anxiety. As a parent, you’ll also learn ways to support them and tolerate their emotional pain without letting anxiety dictate their actions.

If you’re concerned with how your child is coping with the ongoing wildfires and think therapy could help, I encourage you to comment below or DM me. Let’s work together to help your child feel safe and supported during this time.

The ongoing wildfires in LA are impacting all of us, and children in particular may feel scared or overwhelmed by the un...
01/15/2025

The ongoing wildfires in LA are impacting all of us, and children in particular may feel scared or overwhelmed by the uncertainty and the images they see or stories they hear. As parents, you can offer them reassurance and tools to help manage their anxiety. Here are a few ways to support your child right now:

💨 Breathe Together
Deep, intentional breathing helps calm the nervous system. Teach your child to breathe in deeply through their nose for four counts, hold for four counts, and exhale through their mouth for four counts. Try it together as a calming ritual when they feel anxiety creeping in.

🗓 Stick to Routines
When everything feels uncertain, maintaining familiar routines can provide a sense of safety. Keep consistent mealtimes, bedtimes, and family rituals, even if they need some adjustments.

🖍️ Express Through Play
Encourage your child to draw, write, or act out their feelings. Sometimes expressing anxiety in creative ways can help them process emotions they may not yet have the words to explain.

👩‍🚒 Focus on the Helpers
As Mr. Rogers suggests, talk with your child about the brave firefighters, first responders, and volunteers who are working hard to keep everyone safe. Focusing on acts of kindness and courage can help shift their mindset to one of hope and gratitude.

💬 Validate Their Feelings
Let your child know it’s okay to feel scared or sad. Reassure them that they are safe and loved, and that you are there to help them through their emotions.

Stay safe, and please reach out if you would like to schedule a session for personalized guidance on how to respond to your children's reaction to the fire: (310) 487-6061

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