06/15/2026
Once a (covert) narcissist takes you off that pedestal from the beginning, you'll spend the whole relationship trying to prove your worth to them, while they continuously move the goalpost and set you up to fail.
It doesn't matter how much time you spend helping them; they will never appreciate it. It doesn't matter how much you go out of your way and bend over backwards trying to please them; it will never be enough. It doesn't matter how much of yourself you lose trying to fill them up; they will still expect more. It doesn't matter how many times you apologize for things you didn't do; they will never forgive you. It doesn't matter how hard you try to prove that you're a safe space and that you can be trusted - that your love for them is real; they'll still say you're just like the people from their past. It doesn't matter how many chances you give them; they're not going to change.
But then one day....just when you're starting to become tired, they'll have a breakthrough. You'll have a conversation where they finally seem to listen to you and receive what you're saying - where they finally seem to get it and care. You'll see remorse in their eyes, hear pain in their voice, and feel authenticity and accountability through their words. They'll have moments of self-awareness and admit they're f*cked up, that they hate who they are and want to be better. You'll look straight into the window of how broken they are and empathize even more with their past trauma that made them this way. Their vulnerability will make you feel more connected to them than you ever have, and it'll feel like their wall is finally coming down, like they're finally letting you in, like you can finally SEE them - and they can finally see you.
Relief. All the time you've invested, all the work you've put in, all the parts of yourself you've sacrificed, all the hope you've held onto, all the pain you've endured - it's finally paying off. It wasn't all for nothing. All they needed was someone to stick it out with them and not abandon them for once. You were right all along. They just needed to experience real, unconditional love...to be able to heal.
As the days pass, things will feel great, as they appear to be putting in effort and seem to be getting better. But then you'll get that feeling in your gut - that despite the depths you just reached with them and the breakthrough they just had, something feels off. THEY feel off. You'll ignore it because there's no way all of that wasn't real. There's no way the words they expressed, the conclusions they reached, the accountabilty they took, the tone they used, their mannerisms, the look in their eyes, the remorse they showed, their promises...weren't real?
More days will pass. The feeling will grow stronger and the voice in your head won't shut up. Something still feels off. THEY feel off. And then it'll happen. You'll get a quick glimpse of a crack in the mask again. Their face will physically look different for a split second, but you'll think you imagined it. And as the days continue to pass, the bigger the cracks will grow...until the mask is off again, and you're left devastated - trying to understand how you're back here again, after the breakthrough they had that felt so real. So you'll question if it's your fault and be back at square one - spending your days unsuccessfully trying to prove yourself, your worth, and your love to them.
You'll get glimpses of more breakthroughs, glimpses of the version of them they showed you at the beginning, glimpses of accountability, glimpses of the potential of who they could be, glimpses of what feels like change. And each time you get a glimpse, you'll feel relief and your hope will be restored...only to be traumatized and distraught each time they inevitably disappear again.
I've been through it, y'all. And trust me when I say, it will be the same cycle forever until you get off the hamster wheel of insanity. They WILL NOT change for the better. They will only get worse. The breakthroughs are manipulation. The glimpses are breadcrumbs. None of it will ever amount to anything, other than you completely losing yourself and living in a constant state of cognitive dissonance.
It is abuse. YOU ARE NOT CRAZY.
Leaving is scary. Staying is scarier.
Run. 🖤