11/03/2026
Have you ever tried to explain yourself during an argument, only to watch your partner become more upset?
You start listing everything you've done, how hard you've tried, and why their criticism feels unfair.
But here's what might be happening:
You're having two different conversations.
Your partner is trying to tell you how overwhelmed, hurt, or alone they feel.
You're trying to show them that your efforts matter, too.
And suddenly, neither of you feels understood.
The shift isn't to stop caring about your perspective.
It's to get curious about your partner's experience before defending your own.
Try asking:
"What part of this has felt like you've had to carry alone?"
That one question can change the direction of a difficult conversation.
💬 When conflict happens, do you tend to explain yourself or shut down?
🎥 Watch my full YouTube episode, How to Stop Being Defensive During an Argument, for three practical shifts.
https://youtu.be/XFvLzfWNpyI