Doherty Relationship Institute

Home
United States
Saint Paul, MN
Doherty Relationship Institute

Bill is an internationally recognized professor, researcher, writer, speaker, consultant, and democracy builder. www.dohertyrelationshipinstitute.com

Bill Doherty, Ph.D., and Elizabeth Doherty Thomas, MS, LAMFT run this multi-pronged organization whose mission is to broaden the cultural conversations around marriage, therapy, divorce reform, and other mental and medical health topics.

11/02/2026

When your spouse is threatening divorce, your instinct may be to do anything you can to save the marriage.

But some very understandable responses can make a precarious situation worse.

Withdrawing completely. Relying on a one-person view of a two-person relationship crisis. Begging for marriage counseling when your spouse has no energy or trust left for another attempt.

If your spouse is willing to look more deeply at what happened to the marriage, without committing to fixing it, there is another pathway.

Discernment Counseling was designed specifically for couples facing this kind of divorce ambivalence.

10/31/2026

Who started it? may feel like the most important question.

But for a couple on the brink, a more useful question may be:
What keeps it going?

Discernment Counseling helps each spouse look beyond their individual version of the story and begin understanding the pattern between them.

10/29/2026

The best relationship question may not be:
Who started it?

But:
What keeps it going?

When divorce is on the table, both spouses may have narratives that feel completely obvious, and completely true.

And both things can be true at once.

There can still be more to understand about what each person does, how the other reacts, and what keeps the pattern going.

That’s where Discernment Counseling comes into play.

10/28/2026

"But you made me do it."

Couples can become so focused on each other's behavior that they lose sight of their own.

Discernment Counseling helps both spouses explore their own contributions without turning that exploration into a blame game.

Because understanding the pattern requires looking at both sides of it.

10/26/2026

“But you made me do it.”

It’s one of the quickest ways we humans deflect personal responsibility.

For couples therapists, the challenge is helping each person see their own actions and reactions without creating so much defensiveness that they stop looking.

When divorce is on the table, there may not be months to slowly work toward those insights. Discernment Counseling gives clinicians a structure for acting quickly while helping both partners move beyond the personal narratives they may be holding onto as hard facts.

10/24/2026

One breakthrough doesn't tell you where a couple's marriage is headed.

Couples on the brink can move through hope, doubt, anger, clarity, and uncertainty very quickly.

Discernment Counseling helps therapists stay grounded in the process rather than getting ahead of it.

10/22/2026

A breakthrough does not mean the next session will go well.

With couples on the brink of divorce, one powerful moment can be a gift without becoming a permanent turning point.

That’s part of the paradox of Discernment Counseling: work fast, but slow things way down.

Don’t let one dramatic insight convince you that you already know where the marriage is heading.

These couples can be very unstable. And that’s okay.

10/21/2026

Two people can be living in the same marriage while experiencing two completely different realities.

One may have been considering divorce for years. The other may be hearing it for the first time.

Discernment Counseling makes room for both experiences.

10/19/2026

Sometimes one spouse has been living in a marital crisis for years.

The other spouse just found out.

Same marriage. Two completely different emotional vortexes.

Both deserve the respect and space to process what’s happening from where they actually are.

10/17/2026

Leaving a marriage doesn't mean leaving ourselves behind.

Our patterns, reactions, and contributions come with us.

Discernment Counseling helps each spouse look honestly at what they bring to the relationship before deciding what comes next.

What about me would come with me?

Address

Saint Paul, MN
55113

Website

http://dohertyrelationshipinstitute.com/

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Doherty Relationship Institute posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.