It's Patria Alexander

It's Patria Alexander PMHNP for Women 40+ building a life away from home. Culture | Identity | Mental Well-being. Helping you feel at home in yourself again.

PMHNP-BC• Depth Oriented Psychiatry

08/26/2026

Stop abandoning her.

The woman in you who still wants more.
More beauty. More freedom. More honesty. More room to become.

She’s not asking you to have it all figured out.
She’s asking you to come back to yourself.

08/23/2026

I’m not sad.

I just needed a little bit of this, a little bit of that, and a little bit of “please don’t ask me any follow-up questions until this ice cream has done what it came to do.”

There is a time and place for comfort food. Not as the answer to everything. Not as a way to avoid every feeling. But sometimes as a small, sweet pause in the middle of a very human day.

Sometimes food is culture.
Sometimes food is memory.
Sometimes food is celebration.
Sometimes food is comfort.
And sometimes it is me standing in an ice cream shop, making very important decisions about toppings.

Balance is not pretending we don’t need comfort. Balance is knowing when we are feeding our bodies, when we are feeding a feeling, and when we are just enjoying the fact that life gave us ice cream.

Anyway.
I’m not sad.
But I am unavailable for comment until further notice.

08/21/2026

My relationship with this country has always been layered. I immigrated here. I served here. I became a citizen while deployed overseas. I built my life here.

And somehow, in 2026, I also find myself walking around with my U.S. passport because a little part of my brain is convinced I need to be prepared to prove I belong here.

The irony is not lost on me.

I can laugh about it because that is usually how I carry the complicated things, but there is something sad about it too.

Still, today I’m choosing to hold onto the celebratory part.
I served this country before I was officially one of its citizens.
And being recognized as a veteran, means a lot.

08/19/2026

In my Isaiah 61:7 era…
where shame doesn’t get the final word.

Not because everything is perfect.
Not because I have it all figured out.
But because I’m learning to receive joy without apologizing for it.

Double portion, please.

08/18/2026

I think I finally figured out how I can yap online without hating every second of it!

"Think out loud with me" style.

Not teaching. Not performing. Not me trying to wrap every thought into a perfect little lesson.

Just me, having a thought, following it somewhere, and letting you come with me.

Also, this is the first take of this video. I did ramble a bit, so I edited that out. Once I got to the end and realized I actually liked the idea… there was absolutely no way I was doing all of that over again.

So apparently, this is my yapping style now.
I'm excited to see how this goes!! 🙌🏾✨

If you're a yapper, I can definitely use a few tips. Yes please!

It can take a lot to feel safe enough to open up. For many people, honesty does not happen the moment they walk into a r...
08/18/2026

It can take a lot to feel safe enough to open up.

For many people, honesty does not happen the moment they walk into a room. It takes trust. It takes feeling like they do not have to perform, explain everything perfectly, or get it all out at once.

And on my end, it takes humility.

It means asking gently. It means asking specific questions. It means not rushing to fill every silence. It means being willing to wait, and letting someone lead me to what matters most.

Because good care is not just about having answers. It is also about creating openness and flexibility for the truth to come forward.

And sometimes, when that space is there, the visit can feel lighter than people expect. There can be laughter in the middle of something tender. There can be ease in the middle of something vulnerable. There can be room to see what is real.

That kind of honesty is often where the real help begins.

If this resonates, follow along for more conversations about care, trust, and what help helps people feel safe enough to be fully seen.

Sometimes we believe that choosing something means we lose the right to struggle with it.You chose the move, so why are ...
08/12/2026

Sometimes we believe that choosing something means we lose the right to struggle with it.

You chose the move, so why are you homesick?

You wanted the promotion, so why are you overwhelmed?

You prayed for the baby, so why are you struggling emotionally?

You worked for the degree, so why do you feel lost now that it is finished?

You wanted the marriage, the new city, the new career, the opportunity. So why are you grieving anything at all?

See, I think we often confuse choice with emotional certainty. As though making a decision means we should only experience the emotions that support that decision.

But people are far more complex than that.

A good decision can still cost you something. Opportunity can exist alongside grief. Gratitude can exist alongside sadness. Relief can exist alongside fear. You can be deeply committed to the life you chose and still miss the life that came before it.

This is something I think about often in psychiatry. We do not want to turn every difficult emotional response into a disorder, but we also should not dismiss suffering because the person "wanted this."

Context matters.

So does the degree to which someone is sleeping, eating, concentrating, connecting, functioning, and still able to recognize themselves inside the life they have built.

Migration has taught me this personally. Sometimes the life ahead of us is full of possibility, and the life behind us still deserves to be mourned.

The new life does not have to be bad for the old life to matter.

Have you ever chosen something you knew was right for you and still grieved what it required you to leave behind?

Much love.

Wanting something does not protect you from what it costs.We sometimes act as though choice should create emotional cert...
08/12/2026

Wanting something does not protect you from what it costs.

We sometimes act as though choice should create emotional certainty. As though saying “yes” to something means grief, fear, sadness, or doubt are somehow no longer allowed.

But people are more complicated than that.

A good decision can still ask something of you. Gratitude can exist beside sadness. Relief can exist beside fear. Possibility can exist beside grief.

This matters in psychiatry too. We do not want to turn every difficult emotional response into a disorder, but we also should not dismiss suffering simply because someone chose the life change that came before it.

Context matters. Functioning matters. The whole person matters.

Sometimes two things are true at once: You can love the life you chose and still grieve what it costs you.

What have you chosen that was right for you, but still came with a loss?

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