07/08/2026
The Real Reason Behind Why Parents Yell
You don't yell at your children because you're a bad parent or a bad person. You yell because your nervous system is overwhelmed by the input you're getting from their very underdeveloped nervous system.
The key to learning how to regulate those moments is not beating yourself up for losing your marbles. It's offering understanding, for yourself, for your child, and really for all of us, that it's hard to regulate our behavior, our volume, and our reactions in a moment where we feel scared, flooded, or overwhelmed.
And here's the truth: even when we get pretty good at regulating our bodies in those intense moments, sometimes we still lose our marbles. That's when we come back around and say to our kids, "I'm so sorry. I had a really hard time staying calm. Can we try that again? You didn't deserve that."
When we repair like this, we teach our children that sometimes we're a little off, and that being off doesn't mean we're bad. That's how they learn to develop the capacity for staying calm and compassionate towards themselves in their own big moments too.
Source: Attachmentnerd.com
If you've ever raised your voice and then spent the rest of the day quietly carrying the guilt of it, this one's for you. Yelling doesn't make you a bad parent. There's something real happening in your body in those moments, and once you understand it, you can start to work with it instead of agains...
