01/09/2026
Parenting is hard, because even on your worse days you have to get up and parent, at least that is how I felt.
On the darkest days when I didn’t want to get out of bed I had 4 children to feed, to get to school, to get to their sports, to care for, to protect, to love, to be there for. No one saw the pain and sadness behind the smile, the laughter, the efficient parent who helped other people and I never let the mask slip once.
Worse still, I was unrelentingly punishing myself for ‘failing' the kids. I couldn’t see what I was doing well, I was too busy judging myself harshly for not wanting to be there, not being emotionally present, not being the best parent, feeling sad, not being able to shake it off, not trying harder, being angry when they wanted something and I was exhausted. I spent my days listing and criticising for not meeting my own expectations.
In the minutes and hours before sleep, were often he worse times, no distractions, just me and my judgements. I would berate myself into sleep that lasted 2 - 4 hours and then start the day on the same note.
Not once did I stop to offer the compassion I often gifted other people. I didn’t acknowledge how dark and rough the terrain was inside my head or any recognition of pushing through to meet the needs of my children. Even getting my son over anxiety whilst literally dragging myself out of bed to exist didn’t garner any praise or celebration. in fact, I often wondered what I could have done better, sooner or not let it happen at all.
Guilt and shame are massively powerful all consuming emotions that so many of us are ignoring to sit under a label or diagnosis and believe we are powerless. This is not true, processing and releasing the emotions, allowed me to be the parent I wanted to be.
You are not failing.
You have some actions you need to take, some things you need to learn and emotional impacts you need to release so that you can be the parent you want to be.
If you want to know how you can move on from self judgement, self punishment and self criticism, lets talk today
