Simply Alex

01/11/2026

Thank you to those who came to the women's circle last night and the mixed one today. Two very different circles with very different energies.
Circle is a safe, warm and welcoming space to experience connection ✨️ in it's most authentic form.
Blessings all ❤️

19/10/2026

Part 2
The leaflet, the lady and the calling 😉
After opening my eyes ans writing the poem that came to me as I sat there. My eyes were drawn to a small piece of paper in the pew rack in front of me. I was surprised I hadn't noticed it when I first say down because I had looked as I sat down. And I notice everything, usually!
On the front was a picture of a nun. The back was covered in Maltese writing. Both versions are in the photos.
Some of you know that I recently spent 5 days and 4 nights at the bedside of a dying lady. It wasn't planned. It simply unfolded and it was a beautiful experience shared with her daughter and another friend.
There was prayer, singing, essential oils, chanting, hand holding, and above all, holding sacred space. I felt privileged to be there and hope I brought her some comfort in her final days.
I even took a photo with me to Malta of the 3 of us. It had been at her wake and I knew how much she loved travelling and how frustrated she felt by not being able to go anywhere after her stroke. So in a way she was with me in church that day too.
A few days later I looked more into who this nun was and discovered the story of Jeanne Jugan, in the photos too. She started the little sisters of the poor religious charity.
Her calling began, if you believe in accidents, wirh one simple act of kindness. One winters evening she flund an elderly, infirm and blind lady. Jeanne took her home, gave her her own bed and she herself slept in the attic. She cared for her until her death.
From that one act a thriving religious order dedicated to caring for elderly people in need spread across the world.
I felt something stir as I read her story. I even, briefly, contemplated converting to sister Alex! I could probably manage chastity, obedience, hospitality and poverty.....but i suspected swearing might be my stumbling block.
Perhaps my calling doesn't require a habit. Well not a nuns one 😁
So I shall be volunteering my services at hospitals and hospices and for those who want to die at home. Sitting at the bedside of people who are dying offering comfort, companionship and a safe space for whatever time they have left.

16/10/2026

Part 1
I picked a random place to stay in Gozo. It's not an island I know well. I ended up in Xewkija where there is another well known Rotunda church, The Church of John the Baptist. Of course I went in, I entered and realised there was a service on. I slipped round the side into an empty pew.
And again my conversation with the divine began
And this is what flowed forth

I am not worthy
For the body of Christ.
I am not worthy of the wafer.
So here I sit,
Head bowed in shame.
I wait till everyone is seated before I lift it again.
From the depths of my soul,
This feeling of not being whole
Not being good enough
God enough
Let alone man enough.
I do not pray or sing the words I do not know.
Instead from the back I say,
I am sorry.
Sorry for the humanness of this body.
For my thoughts and mortal sins.
Why does it get me so,
In every church that I go.
For Iove the structure and the peace.
I gaze in awe at the glory of God,
Depicted in the paintings of old.
The sheer opulence
The marble, the wood, the stone and the gold.
I wrestle with this building,
And it's relationship to the poor,
Some pious people are evil to the core.
Yet,
Yet when I walk through God's door
I feel it
I feel it in my core.
All that we could be, all that we should be
And all that will be
Forver more.
I feel it in my core.
So i close my eyes
As if to pray.
Yet words fail me, i do not know what to say.
I am sorry, forgive me, heal me.
Do you even hear me?
I sigh and open my eyes,
Time to go.
What is home? I do not know.
If I believed enough,
Prayed more, paid more
Would the signs then be clear to me?
Would i love more, be loved more.
Would God come to me in my dreams.
Would I pass him in the street.
Would he even know my name?
As I bow my head in shame
I whisper take my sins, take my pain
Make me whole again.
Dear God hear my cry,
Do I repent in vain.
Take this human body, this soul
These thoughts and feelings with no where to go.
Some good, some bad, somw mundane.
Oh dear God make me whole again.
Is death the key? Is that what's in store for me?
Is that the answer that I seek?
Then you said
heaven is a place on earth, if only man had eyes to see.
So i lift my head and open my eyes.
And from the doorway I see the sunrise.
God in all it's glory has spoken to me.
Thank god I had eyes to me
I leave this place feeling better than before.
Dear God I know is wherever I go.

And part 2 I say what else happened when I opened my eyes.

15/10/2026

On a walk between the Hagar Qim temple and the look out point I penned this. The look out point was built in1866 to try and keep out the Turkish Mauraders. As I looked at the sea I felt a presence as if transported back in time to the man stood where I was. He was very hot, dehydrated, tired, worn out by sieges and poverty. The sea was so near yet so far away and it was like a drug and a mistress sending him near crazy.

It sent me mad with longing,
The sea and her mystery.
I longed for the coolness of her kiss,
And the gentle feel of her waves as she caressed me.
Touching every part of me,
Her tenderness was a balm,
But her fury could be brutal.
On dry land I longed for her,
Like I've never longed for another.
I struggled through the hot dusty days,
till we were reunited once again.
The kiss of the sea,
My love and me.

14/10/2026

I came to Mosta, sat on the steps and within minutes this flowed forth. Then I went and explored Mosta Basillica.

I looked for God everywhere,
Every Church,
And every square.
He was not here,
He was not there.
I walked for miles,
I walked for years.
I lit the candles and sang the hyms,
I prayed to God
Please
Absolve me of my sins.
I stood alone,
Lonely and afraid.
And as I wept out she came,
From deep within the depths of me,
Did God finally come back home to me.

14/10/2026

I'm visiting Malta and I have had time. Time to be, time to pray and time to hear the response.

07/10/2026

For those that have reflexology with me you'll know I always add pressure massage up and around the shins 😍

Firmly pressing down on shin bones for just a few minutes every day drastically improved movement and cognition in mice and pigs one week after they had a traumatic brain injury. The intervention stimulates bone cells that are sensitive to physical force, causing them to release substances that promote good brain health.

“This is big news to me, as it reveals a previously underappreciated bone-brain communication system, and could potentially lead to new therapeutic approaches in the future,” says Kristian Franze at the Max Planck Center for Physics and Medicine in Germany, who wasn’t involved in the work.

Read more: https://www.newscientist.com/article/2591964-compressing-bones-releases-molecules-that-ease-traumatic-brain-injuries/

Image: JOSE CALVO/SCIENCE PHOTO LIBRARY