Learning Together

13/10/2026

Shut Your Mouth

They sat behind me, out of my eyeline.

I knew when they arrived. Chairs dragged across the wooden floor, the familiar sounds of people settling at a table in a local restaurant. I was having lunch with a friend. We talked, ate and enjoyed each other's company. Then I heard it.

"Shut your mouth."

I tried to keep listening to my friend, but the words caught my attention.

"Shut your mouth."

It wasn't shouted. It didn't need to be. The tone was piercing and condescending, like an abusive parent berating an unruly child.
Then again. "Shut your mouth."

Eventually, I interrupted my friend. "I'm sorry," I said. "I hate this."

"What?"

"I haven't seen the people behind me. I haven't heard a word from one of them. But I'm almost certain one has an intellectual disability." She looked over my shoulder. "I don't know," she said. "But it looks like a man with his carer."

I hadn't seen him. I didn't know what he had done that was so wrong in the eyes of his supporter. But I knew that tone. I'd heard it too many times before, directed at people with intellectual disabilities.

The tone that says I'm in charge and you're not. The tone that turns an adult into a child.

I wondered whether he'd been looking forward to this meal. Whether he had chosen the restaurant, what he had ordered, or whether going out for lunch was something special.

We talk a lot about abuse in disability services. But there are smaller interactions you rarely hear about. An impatient sigh. An eye roll. A sharp instruction delivered without the courtesy we'd expect for ourselves. A little while later, chairs scraped across the floor again. They were leaving. I hadn't even finished my meal.

After they'd gone, I looked back at their table. Two empty chairs.
I had spent the lunch hour, talking, laughing, taking my time. Nobody telling me how to behave. I wondered whether he'd enjoyed his meal. Whether he'd wanted to stay longer. Whether he'd had any say in when they left.

Somehow the empty table they left behind said more about the life that man might be living than any of the words I'd heard.
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ID: Image shows a table and two empty chairs. Text above the image reads: Without looking I knew he had an intellectual disability.

11/09/2026

Some work to be done on our pledges here but we've joined the RRN... primarily for access to reduced training/conference costs and community of practice webinars https://restraintreductionnetwork.org/organisational-membership/current-pledges/detail/?Id=006Nz00000rWlF4

24/08/2026

It's taken a while but thanks to the NHS West of England Specialist Team (AAC WEST) and our own local CLDT Speech and Language support, we're excited to be finally moving on our AAC (Augmentative and Alternative Communication) journey. Here's some of T's team getting an introduction to the importance of 'modelling' in AAC.

All non-speaking or partially-speaking autistic people should have access to AAC.

18/08/2026

"The people we support have been keeping busy, getting out and about walking, trying new things, eating ice cream, and making the most of the good weather."

We see these kind of 🐂💩posts from companies and charities all the time promoting their brand while using photos of the folk they support. It often feels and looks like exploitation.

The folk we support add photos and videos to their daily log which is shared with family and friends. As tempting as it might be to share those each week with Joe Public, we don't.

Respect people's right to privacy.

(Photo used from Google images 😀)

28/07/2026

Some great speakers and it's free! November 16th - 19th 2026

The Think Sensory Summit is back!

We listened to your amazing feedback and this summit is better than ever!

Link in the comments!

Ross Greene
Alfie Kohn
Kelly Mahler
Barry Prizant
Autism Level UP

And more!!!!!!

Hosted by myself And Mick Olds The Occuplaytional Therapist!

It is FREE to watch. Link in the comments!

Share this with a parent, teacher, therapist or anyone who knows someone who is neurodivergent (hint: that's everyone). 😁

28/07/2026

Why do we so often become curious only after someone with an intellectual or developmental disability has reached breaking point?

We remind ourselves that challenging behavior is communication but by then, a wall has been damaged, someone has been hurt, or a relationship has been strained. Perhaps the better question isn't, "What is this behavior telling us?" but, "What did we miss before it became necessary?"

People deserve to be understood long before distress becomes impossible to ignore. When we take the time to know the person, notice the quieter signs, and build lives filled with purpose, belonging, and genuine relationships, challenging behavior often becomes less necessary.

If you'd like to explore these ideas further, Open Future Learning has a range of learning modules that look at understanding behavior through a person-centred lens rather than simply managing it.
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ID: Image shows someone sat leaning against a wall looking isolated. Text reads: "All behavior is communication." After someone puts a hole in the wall. Do: Ask why someone had to rely on challenging behavior before we understood something wasn't right.

30/06/2026

From ITV News last week: No wonder many parents and families worry so much about the care and support their loved ones receive in ‘services’. The voice of parents and families often gets drowned out by services and professionals leading to a fractured and disconnected circle of support. This puts the person at the centre in a very vulnerable position; like a twig on a river, they have little or no real say in how their life project unfolds on any given day. Shocking as the stories here are, it is even more shocking to learn that an oil-rich country now owns a huge raft of privately-run care organisations in this country.

https://www.itv.com/news/2026-06-24/cqc-admits-disability-care-inspections-must-improve-after-itv-news-investigation

02/06/2026

We are hiring. Please share with your network 🙂

Pay: £32,000.00-£38,000.00 per year Job Description: Company Overview: Learning Together is a small, specialised care and supported living provider for autistic adults with complex challenges of learning, communication and behaviour. Traditionally in our field, autism has been pathologised with

17/04/2026

It's April which means 'World Autism Acceptance Month'. Highly recommend Upward Bound, a novel by Woody Brown, a nonspeaking autistic from California. If you love or support someone who is nonspeaking or partially speaking, then give it a read. Woody reminds us that just because some people do not speak, it does not mean they don't know exactly what is being said to or around them. Read page one here and see if it brings a smile to your face...

08/04/2026

For many Autistic people, regulation happens in connection with others. It might look like sitting quietly together, offering a steady presence, reducing demands, or simply being alongside someone without judgement.

It’s not about fixing, changing, or “calming down” - it’s about feeling safe enough to be.

Co-regulation can look like:
✨ Making space for silence
🌼 Matching a person’s pace
💛 Supporting autonomy through choice

When we co-regulate, we’re saying: you don’t have to do this alone.



[ID: Against a burgundy background, with the Reframing Autism logo at the top and the colourful knotwork in the lower left corner, white text reads, 'Co-regulation is an act of care'. Beneath the text, is an image of two fluffy cats sitting beside eachother, staring off into the distance.]