07/13/2026
Too often, churches mistake abuse for a marriage problem. When abuse is misidentified as poor communication, conflict, or anger, the response can send victims deeper into harm instead of toward safety.
One of the most common mistakes churches make is treating abuse as a marriage problem instead of an abuse problem.
When domestic abuse is misidentified as poor communication, conflict, or anger, couples are often sent to marriage counseling. But abuse is not a mutual issue requiring mutual solutions.
Abuse is a pattern of power and control.
When victims are encouraged to attend marriage counseling with an abuser, the result can be devastating. Abuse is often minimized, victims may be blamed, and abusers can gain new tools for manipulation.
The church has a sacred responsibility to protect the oppressed and respond wisely.
Called to Peace Ministries equips pastors and church leaders to recognize abuse, support victims, and build safer churches.
Too many victims have been told to pray harder, submit more, forgive faster, or stay silent for the sake of the marriage. Too many have been sent back into dangerous situations without the protection, support, and advocacy they desperately needed. When churches fail to recognize abuse for what it is, the consequences can be life-altering, and sometimes even deadly.
Faithful ministry requires more than good intentions. It requires understanding the dynamics of abuse, responding with wisdom, and prioritizing safety over appearances. Churches must be places of refuge, not places where abuse is overlooked, excused, or enabled.
Contact Neil Schori at [email protected] for a free consultation or to learn more about our Protect the Flock training.
Because protecting the oppressed is part of living out the Gospel.
