31/07/2026
A lot has happened in the past decade or so, a lot of acceptance created through shedding the identity i was told/shown/formed to have.
Who am i now?
Someone completely different, yet i still sit in this body full of stories and lived experiences in a process that feels like a never ending returning back to who i was before the world and people shaped me by not knowing who they were or what they were choosing either.
The past 15yrs of commitment to my personal healing and trauma recovery has provided me with a safety in my body i never thought id accomplish.
I think about raising my kids in survival mode all those years and the impact these men i chose had on the health of our minds and bodies, how much power i gave away fighting for peace, how the absence of a dad shaped my children, how choices and regrets of others can die with them, not me, how i don’t even need to answer the phone to people who watched me drown.
This reformed people pleaser has come a long way.
How powerful it is to see these versions of myself so seperate to who i was, to see all i created the good and the bad and the chance i took to start again and believe in myself and that something bigger had to exist.
I find peace amongst some regrets, but mostly i feel love for myself in all the small choices i made for us to have better.
