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โšฝ๐ŸŒ™ SEASON 12 - WEEK 5: UNDER THE FLOODLIGHTS! ๐ŸŒ™โšฝOctober is officially here and we're now properly playing in the dark โ€” ...
05/10/2026

โšฝ๐ŸŒ™ SEASON 12 - WEEK 5: UNDER THE FLOODLIGHTS! ๐ŸŒ™โšฝ

October is officially here and we're now properly playing in the dark โ€” full floodlights on from kick-off, the breath visible in the autumn air, and the pitches glowing under the lights ๐ŸŸ๏ธโœจ There's just something special about Fat Fives Football under the floodlights, and Week 5 delivered a cracker! Massive well done to every player for lacing up the boots and showing up in the cold!

โญ๐ŸŒŸ TEAM OF THE WEEK! ๐ŸŒŸโญ
Steven Mc takes this week's captain's armband with a brilliant 1.7kg loss โ€” what a shift to lead the line! He's joined by Ross Davidson (1.3kg), Ethan Park (1.2kg), Martin G (1.1kg), Loon (1.0kg), Nathan (1.0kg), Luggs (1.0kg), Terry (1.0kg), Richard G (0.9kg), Barry C (0.6kg) and Greg A (0.6kg). Eleven brilliant performances on the scales โ€” take a bow, lads! ๐Ÿ‘

โš–๏ธ๐Ÿ“‰ TOP WEIGHT LOSS LEAGUE ๐Ÿ“‰โš–๏ธ
A stunning SEVEN-way tie at the top of the table on 12 points โ€” Greg A, Andy, Luggs, Steve R, James W, Ash and Adam B! With everyone level on points, the order is decided on percentage of weight lost, and Season 11 winner Greg A storms BACK to top spot after another big week! Terry, Smithy and Chris B sit just behind on 9 points to round out the top 10. Five weeks in and the front-runners are still absolutely glued together โ€” what consistency!

๐Ÿƒโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’ช TEAM WEIGHT LOSS LEAGUE ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿƒโ€โ™‚๏ธ
Flaberdeen are RUNAWAY leaders of the team weight loss table on a massive 66 points โ€” opening up a HUGE 23-point gap! Rapid Viennetta 2nd on 43, Ivory Toast 3rd on 37, OB City 4th on 33, Scrandinavia on 31, Fatburn Rovers on 28, Bayern Bru on 24, and Parmesan Belgrade still lagging on 7. Flaberdeen are on another level off the pitch!

๐Ÿฅ‡๐Ÿ… POTS (PLAYER OF THE SEASON) ๐Ÿ…๐Ÿฅ‡
Chris B of Bayern Bru holds his lead at the top on a brilliant 28 points! Andy and Liam S share 2nd on 25 each, with Wayne and David B sharing 4th on 23, Stevie R and Birnie 6th on 20, and James W, Adam B and Gilmore rounding out the top 10 on 19 points. Chris B is in a league of his own early doors!

๐Ÿซ๐Ÿ‘Ÿ GOLDEN CHOCOLATE BOOT (MVP) ๐Ÿ‘Ÿ๐Ÿซ
Chris B continues his sensational start โ€” now on 23 goals in just five weeks! John R (Fatburn Rovers) chases hard on 19, Connor M (Bayern Bru) 3rd on 18, Stevie R (OB City) 4th on 16, with Liam S and Loon sharing 5th on 13. Lewis Fer, Ross H and David B share 7th on 12, with Gareth on 11. Chris B's running away with it!

๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ† FATBURN FINALLY ROARING! ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘‘
What a turnaround from the defending champions! Fatburn Rovers were sitting rock bottom last week with just 7 points โ€” this week they put together a PERFECT 9-point haul including a stunning 4-3 UPSET over league leaders Bayern Bru, a 6-3 win over Parmesan Belgrade, and a 7-1 hammering of Flaberdeen! They've climbed from 8th all the way to 6th. Bayern Bru still hold top spot on 35 despite that loss, Scrandinavia 2nd on 29, Ivory Toast 3rd on 25. And at the bottom? Rapid Viennetta have dropped from 6th all the way to 8th after a 0-from-3 nightmare โ€” table-turning stuff!

๐Ÿ“Šโšฝ MATCH RESULTS & STANDINGS โšฝ๐Ÿ“Š
What a wild night of football! The result of the week has to be Scrandinavia's incredible 9-1 hammering of Rapid Viennetta โ€” they also put 6 past Parmesan Belgrade with no reply! Fatburn Rovers' upset of league leaders Bayern Bru 4-3 was another highlight, with Fatburn also hammering Flaberdeen 7-1. Bayern Bru bagged 5-1 over Ivory Toast and 4-3 over Parmesan. O.B City picked up wins of 5-3 over Rapid V and 4-2 over Scrandinavia. Ivory Toast beat Rapid V 7-4 in a thriller. Flaberdeen bagged 5-3 over O.B City and 3-2 over Ivory Toast. Mental!

The Top 3 Standings:
Bayern Bru top on 35 points (+34 GD), Scrandinavia 2nd on 29 points (+22 GD), Ivory Toast 3rd on 25 points (+6 GD).

That's a wrap on Week 5 of Season 12! The nights are dark ๐ŸŒ‘, the lights are on ๐Ÿ’ก, and the Fat Fives Football action is only heating up as we settle into autumn. Massive thank you to every single player for lacing up and bringing the energy โ€” no matter how cold it gets out there! Keep going, keep believing, and we'll see you next week! For full stats, fixtures, league tables and live player tracking, head over to ๐Ÿ‘‡

๐ŸŒ fatfives.football

โšฝ๐Ÿ‚ SEASON 12 - WEEK 4: BAYERN BRU'S UNBEATEN RUN ENDS! ๐Ÿ‚โšฝThe autumn is properly here now โ€” the pitches are getting slick...
28/09/2026

โšฝ๐Ÿ‚ SEASON 12 - WEEK 4: BAYERN BRU'S UNBEATEN RUN ENDS! ๐Ÿ‚โšฝ

The autumn is properly here now โ€” the pitches are getting slicker, the boots are getting muddier, and the season is really settling in ๐Ÿ Week 4 in the books and what a shake-up! The leaders finally had their perfect run ended, a bottom-side landed the upset of the campaign, and the defending champions FINALLY picked up a win. Massive well done to every player for putting in the graft as the chill sets in!

โญ๐ŸŒŸ TEAM OF THE WEEK! ๐ŸŒŸโญ
Smithy takes this week's captain's armband with a brilliant 2.4kg loss โ€” what a shift! He's joined by Matthew Mc (2.1kg), Willie (2.0kg), Aidan (2.0kg), Zac (1.5kg), Colin Mc (1.4kg), Luggs (1.1kg), James W (0.8kg), Steve R (0.8kg), Gilmore (0.8kg) and Ethan Park (0.8kg). Eleven brilliant performances on the scales โ€” take a bow, lads! ๐Ÿ‘

โš–๏ธ๐Ÿ“‰ TOP WEIGHT LOSS LEAGUE ๐Ÿ“‰โš–๏ธ
A stunning EIGHT-way tie at the top of the table on 9 points โ€” Andy, Greg A, Smithy, Steve R, Luggs, James W, Ash and Adam B! With everyone level on points, the order is decided on percentage of weight lost, and Andy holds top spot for another week thanks to the biggest % drop! Season 11 winner Greg A right in the mix as always. Ray and Terry sit just behind on 6 points to round out the top 10. Four weeks in and the front-runners are absolutely locked together!

๐Ÿƒโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’ช TEAM WEIGHT LOSS LEAGUE ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿƒโ€โ™‚๏ธ
Flaberdeen keep on flying at the top of the team weight loss table on 47 points โ€” opening up a proper gap! Rapid Viennetta 2nd on 34, Ivory Toast 3rd on 26, Fatburn Rovers 4th on 23, OB City on 22, Scrandinavia on 20, Bayern Bru on 16, and Parmesan Belgrade lagging on 7. Flaberdeen's off-pitch charge continues to build!

๐Ÿฅ‡๐Ÿ… POTS (PLAYER OF THE SEASON) ๐Ÿ…๐Ÿฅ‡
Chris B of Bayern Bru breaks CLEAR at the top of POTS on 26 points โ€” 6 MOTMs in 4 appearances! Wayne 2nd on 23, Liam S 3rd on 20, with a THREE-way tie behind on 17 points โ€” James W, Andy and Adam B all in the mix. Gilmore on 16, and Robert D, Mitchell and Ross H rounding out the top 10 on 15 points. Chris B is having an unbelievable start to Season 12!

๐Ÿซ๐Ÿ‘Ÿ GOLDEN CHOCOLATE BOOT (MVP) ๐Ÿ‘Ÿ๐Ÿซ
Chris B continues his outstanding start extending his lead in the boot race with a sensational 21 goals in just four weeks! John R (Fatburn Rovers) chases hard on 19, Connor M (Bayern Bru) 3rd on 12, Lewis Fer (Parmesan Belgrade) on 10, and Liam S, Stevie R and Chris M sharing 5th on 9. Ross H on 8, and Gareth and defending Golden Boot winner Stevie G rounding out the top 10 on 7 each. Chris B is on absolute fire!

๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ† UNBEATEN RUN OVER! ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘‘
HOLD THE FRONT PAGE! Bayern Bru's brilliant unbeaten start to Season 12 has been ENDED โ€” and by Flaberdeen of all sides, who pulled off a stunning 2-1 upset over the leaders! Bayern Bru bounced back with wins over Rapid Viennetta (5-3) and Scrandinavia (6-3) though and still sit clear at the top on 29 points. Scrandinavia hold 2nd on 23, Ivory Toast 3rd on 22 โ€” separated by just goal difference. All positions held this week but the leaders finally look catchable. And massive shout-out to defending champions Fatburn Rovers who FINALLY picked up their 2nd win of the season, a 4-3 thriller over O.B City โ€” long overdue!

๐Ÿ“Šโšฝ MATCH RESULTS & STANDINGS โšฝ๐Ÿ“Š
What a night of football! The result of the week has to be Flaberdeen's 2-1 shock over league leaders Bayern Bru! But it wasn't the only shocker โ€” Ivory Toast edged O.B City 1-0 and beat Parmesan Belgrade 4-3, and Scrandinavia bagged big wins with 4-2 over Ivory Toast and 4-1 over Fatburn Rovers. Bayern Bru bounced back with 5-3 over Rapid V and 6-3 over Scrandinavia. Rapid V also beat Fatburn 2-1 and edged Flaberdeen 4-3. O.B City beat Parmesan Belgrade 3-1. Wild results everywhere!

The Top 3 Standings:
Bayern Bru top on 29 points (+30 GD), Scrandinavia 2nd on 23 points (+10 GD), Ivory Toast 3rd on 22 points (+8 GD).

That's a wrap on Week 4 of Season 12! The autumn is properly settling in โ˜•๐Ÿ but the effort on the pitch and on the scales is only getting bigger. Massive thank you to every single player for putting in the graft โ€” no matter what the weather! Keep going, keep believing, and we'll see you next week! For full stats, fixtures, league tables and live player tracking, head over to ๐Ÿ‘‡

๐ŸŒ fatfives.football

๐Ÿ†๐ŸŒŸ TOTW CAPTAIN TROPHIES! ๐ŸŒŸ๐Ÿ†Two brilliant weight loss captaincies to celebrate as Season 12 gets rolling! We had the ple...
23/09/2026

๐Ÿ†๐ŸŒŸ TOTW CAPTAIN TROPHIES! ๐ŸŒŸ๐Ÿ†

Two brilliant weight loss captaincies to celebrate as Season 12 gets rolling! We had the pleasure of handing over the TOTW Captain trophies to two absolute machines from the opening weeks ๐Ÿ’ช Give it up for the lads:

โญ๐ŸŒŸ MARTIN G โ€” WEEK 1 CAPTAIN ๐ŸŒŸโญ
Martin's brilliant return to the Fat Fives Football family with a MASSIVE 17.7kg comeback loss (reflecting his time away since the end of Season 10) was one of the openers of the season! What a way to mark his return to action and pick up that very first captain's armband of Season 12. Welcome back, big man โ€” you're an absolute legend and it's brilliant to have you back! ๐Ÿ‘

โญ๐ŸŒŸ TERRY โ€” WEEK 2 CAPTAIN ๐ŸŒŸโญ
Terry led the line in Week 2 with a brilliant 3.1kg loss to take the captain's armband! A fantastic performance on the scales to top the charts and lift the trophy. Take a bow, mate โ€” outstanding stuff and a great way to kick off the campaign! ๐Ÿ”ฅ

Massive congratulations to both Martin G and Terry โ€” these are the moments that make Fat Fives Football what it is. Real people, real graft, real results ๐Ÿ™Œ Two brilliant starts to Season 12 โ€” long may it continue for both of you!

๐ŸŒ fatfives.football

โšฝ๐Ÿ‚ SEASON 12 - WEEK 3: BAYERN BRU FLYING HIGH! ๐Ÿ‚โšฝThe nights are drawing in, the leaves are turning, and there's a real a...
22/09/2026

โšฝ๐Ÿ‚ SEASON 12 - WEEK 3: BAYERN BRU FLYING HIGH! ๐Ÿ‚โšฝ

The nights are drawing in, the leaves are turning, and there's a real autumn chill on the pitch ๐Ÿ โ€” but Season 12 just keeps serving up drama! Week 3 in the books โ€” the leaders keep flying, a bottom-side made their statement, and the defending champions are still nowhere to be found. Massive well done to every player!

โญ๐ŸŒŸ TEAM OF THE WEEK! ๐ŸŒŸโญ
Stephen M takes this week's captain's armband with a brilliant 1.8kg loss! Joined by Chris B (1.6kg), Michael L (1.5kg), Stevie R (1.5kg), Terry (1.3kg), Paul Keegan (1.3kg), Nathan (1.1kg), Ryan Mc (1.0kg), Taylor (1.0kg), Ray (0.8kg) and Willie (0.6kg). Take a bow, lads! ๐Ÿ‘

โš–๏ธ๐Ÿ“‰ TOP WEIGHT LOSS LEAGUE ๐Ÿ“‰โš–๏ธ
A stunning ten-way tie at the top on 6 points โ€” Andy, Ray, Greg A, Terry, Callum K, Steve R, Smithy, James W, Ash and Luggs! With everyone level, order is decided on % weight lost, and Andy takes over top spot from Martin G thanks to the biggest % drop! Season 11 winner Greg A still in the mix.

๐Ÿƒโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’ช TEAM WEIGHT LOSS LEAGUE ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿƒโ€โ™‚๏ธ
Flaberdeen top on 31 โ€” opening up a gap! Rapid V 2nd on 23, Fatburn on 20, Ivory Toast on 17, Scrandinavia on 16, OB City on 15, Bayern Bru on 13, Parmesan on 5.

๐Ÿฅ‡๐Ÿ… POTS (PLAYER OF THE SEASON) ๐Ÿ…๐Ÿฅ‡
Brilliant THREE-WAY tie at the top on 18 points โ€” Wayne, Liam S and Chris B all deadlocked, back-to-back-to-back MOTM performances! James W and David B share 4th on 15, Birnie 6th on 13, Taylor, Andy, Stevie R and John R on 12.

๐Ÿซ๐Ÿ‘Ÿ GOLDEN CHOCOLATE BOOT (MVP) ๐Ÿ‘Ÿ๐Ÿซ
Chris B of Bayern Bru is ON FIRE โ€” extending his lead on 16 goals in just three weeks! John R 2nd on 14, Stevie R 3rd on 9, Liam S, Lewis Fer and Chris M share 4th on 8. Gareth, Stevie G and Connor M on 7, Ross H on 6.

๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ† BAYERN BRU STILL UNBEATEN! ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘‘
The leaders keep rolling! Bayern Bru made it a PERFECT 3W โ€” 3-0 over O.B City, 9-1 hammering of defending champs Fatburn Rovers, and 8-2 over Parmesan Belgrade! Top on 23 points, STILL UNBEATEN, and 6 clear at the summit. Scrandinavia continue their surge to 2nd on 17. Ivory Toast bagged 9-from-3 to climb to 3rd on 16! Parmesan drop 2nd โ†’ 4th on 14. Defending champs Fatburn ROCK BOTTOM on 4 points!

๐Ÿ“Šโšฝ MATCH RESULTS & STANDINGS โšฝ๐Ÿ“Š
Bayern Bru's headline results โ€” 9-1 over Fatburn and 8-2 over Parmesan! Wildest of the night? OB City's crazy 10-6 goal-fest over Rapid V! ๐Ÿคฏ Scrandinavia added 4-3 over Parmesan, 2-2 with OB, and 4-1 over Flaberdeen. Ivory Toast's perfect week โ€” 5-2 Rapid V, 3-1 Flaberdeen, 6-5 thriller over Fatburn.

Top 3: Bayern Bru 23pts (+26), Scrandinavia 17pts (+8), Ivory Toast 16pts (+8).

The autumn is properly settling in โ˜•๐Ÿ but the effort on the pitch and on the scales is only getting bigger. Massive thank you to every player for putting in the graft โ€” no matter what the weather! Keep going!

๐ŸŒ fatfives.football

โšฝ๐Ÿ‚ SEASON 12 - WEEK 2: NIGHTS DRAWING IN, ACTION HEATING UP! ๐Ÿ‚โšฝSummer is slipping away, the nights are getting shorter, ...
14/09/2026

โšฝ๐Ÿ‚ SEASON 12 - WEEK 2: NIGHTS DRAWING IN, ACTION HEATING UP! ๐Ÿ‚โšฝ

Summer is slipping away, the nights are getting shorter, and the darkness is drawing in earlier at kick-off ๐ŸŒ’ โ€” but the drama in Season 12 is only just getting warmed up! Week 2 in the books and what a shake-up on the table already โ€” sensational bounce-backs, unbeaten runs, and defending champions in freefall. Massive well done to every player for showing up as the season really settles in!

โญ๐ŸŒŸ TEAM OF THE WEEK! ๐ŸŒŸโญ
Terry takes this week's captain's armband with a brilliant 3.1kg loss โ€” what a way to lead the line! He's joined by Ray (1.9kg), Buisty (1.9kg), Gogs (1.6kg), Willie (1.5kg), Steve R (1.3kg), Smithy (1.3kg), James W (1.2kg), Jacko (1.0kg), Callum K (1.0kg) and Doug (0.9kg). Eleven brilliant performances on the scales โ€” take a bow, lads! ๐Ÿ‘

โš–๏ธ๐Ÿ“‰ TOP WEIGHT LOSS LEAGUE ๐Ÿ“‰โš–๏ธ
A stunning ten-way tie at the top of the table on 3 points โ€” Martin G, Andy, Greg A, Ray, Chopper, Terry, Jacko, Doug, Callum K and Gogs! With everyone level on points, the order is decided on percentage of weight lost, and Martin G still holds top spot thanks to the biggest % drop. Season 11 winner Greg A right in the mix as usual! Two weeks in and the front-runners are already stacked up together โ€” brilliant consistency early doors!

๐Ÿƒโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’ช TEAM WEIGHT LOSS LEAGUE ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿƒโ€โ™‚๏ธ
Flaberdeen keep the top spot on 17 points, with Fatburn Rovers climbing to 2nd on 16 โ€” they may be struggling on the pitch but they're delivering big-time on the scales! Rapid Viennetta on 13, Ivory Toast on 10, Bayern Bru and Scrandinavia level on 8, OB City on 6, and Parmesan Belgrade on 5. Every point counts โ€” keep pushing together!

๐Ÿฅ‡๐Ÿ… POTS (PLAYER OF THE SEASON) ๐Ÿ…๐Ÿฅ‡
Wayne and Liam S share the top spot on 16 points โ€” both bagging back-to-back MOTM performances in their opening two weeks! An EIGHT-way tie sits just behind on 10 points โ€” James W, Taylor, Stevie R, Mitchell, Buisty, Richard G, Chris and David B all making their early marks. This race is WIDE open from the off!

๐Ÿซ๐Ÿ‘Ÿ GOLDEN CHOCOLATE BOOT (MVP) ๐Ÿ‘Ÿ๐Ÿซ
Defending Golden Boot winner Stevie G shares the early Season 12 lead with Chris of Bayern Bru โ€” both on 7 goals! Lewis Fer (Parmesan Belgrade) and Chris M (Scrandinavia) share 3rd on 6, John R (Fatburn Rovers) and Stevie R (OB City) on 5, and Liam S, Gareth, Mitchell and Andy rounding out the top 10 on 4 each. Fresh season, tight race!

๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ† SCRANDINAVIA'S STUNNING BOUNCE-BACK! ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘‘
Talk about a turnaround! After sitting rock bottom last week on just 1 point, Scrandinavia have SURGED all the way up to 3rd with a PERFECT 9-point week โ€” including a brilliant 3-1 win over defending champions Fatburn Rovers, 2-1 over Ivory Toast, and a stunning 5-1 hammering of Rapid Viennetta! Meanwhile Bayern Bru maintain top spot on 14 points and are STILL UNBEATEN, with Parmesan Belgrade 2nd on 11 and Scrandinavia 3rd on 10. And at the bottom? Defending champions Fatburn Rovers now sit ROCK BOTTOM on just 3 points after a shocking 0-from-3 week. What a table-flip already!

๐Ÿ“Šโšฝ MATCH RESULTS & STANDINGS โšฝ๐Ÿ“Š
Massive week of football! Scrandinavia's brilliant 3-from-3 was headlined by a 5-1 hammering of Rapid Viennetta and 3-1 over Fatburn Rovers. Bayern Bru's undefeated start continues with a 2-0 win over Flaberdeen and 4-2 over Ivory Toast plus a 2-2 draw with Rapid V. OB City had a solid week with 3-2 over Fatburn Rovers and a 4-4 thriller with Parmesan Belgrade. Parmesan also beat Flaberdeen 3-1. Fatburn Rovers had a night to forget going 0-from-3 with losses to Scrandinavia, Rapid Viennetta (5-3) and O.B City. A proper reshaping of the table!

The Top 3 Standings:
Bayern Bru top on 14 points (+9 GD), Parmesan Belgrade 2nd on 11 points (+6 GD), Scrandinavia 3rd on 10 points (+4 GD).

That's a wrap on Week 2 of Season 12! The nights are drawing in earlier โญ and there's a proper autumn chill in the air, but the effort on the pitch and on the scales is only getting bigger. Massive thank you to every single player for putting in the graft as the seasons change! Keep going, keep believing, and we'll see you next week! For full stats, fixtures, league tables and live player tracking, head over to ๐Ÿ‘‡

๐ŸŒ fatfives.football

12/09/2026

๐ŸŽฌ LIAM TRIED EVERYTHING AND BARRY M SAID ABSOLUTELY NOT ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿงค๐Ÿ”ฅ
๐Ÿ“ Header? Saved. Follow up? Saved. Liam doing his absolute best and Barry M shutting down every single attempt ๐Ÿ˜‚ Player of the season living up to the billing and Liam is absolutely distraught ๐Ÿ˜ค What a goalkeeper ๐Ÿ‘‡
๐ŸŽฅ Full highlights: https://www.youtube.com/

10/09/2026

๐ŸŽฌ NOT EVEN THE OPPOSITION EXPECTED THAT ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ”ฅ
๐Ÿ“ Chopper in goals, looking comfortable and then gravity had other ideas ๐Ÿคฃ The deflection off Chopper is so unexpected even the attackers stopped celebrating for a second ๐Ÿ˜‚ One of the great Fat Fives moments right here ๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ‘‡
๐ŸŽฅ Full highlights: https://www.youtube.com/

08/09/2026

๐ŸŽฌ EVERY TOUCH COUNTED AND CHUCKIE FINISHED IT OFF ๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ”ฅ
๐Ÿ“ Bayern Bru with a move that had everything ๐Ÿซก Slick passing, clever movement and Chuckie with the composure to place it perfectly into the back of the net โšฝ๐Ÿ”ฅ That is how you score a team goal ๐Ÿ‘‡
๐ŸŽฅ Full highlights: https://www.youtube.com/

โšฝ๐ŸŽ‰ SEASON 12 IS UNDERWAY: A FRESH START FOR EVERYONE! ๐ŸŽ‰โšฝIT'S BACK! Season 12 has officially kicked off and what a way to...
06/09/2026

โšฝ๐ŸŽ‰ SEASON 12 IS UNDERWAY: A FRESH START FOR EVERYONE! ๐ŸŽ‰โšฝ

IT'S BACK! Season 12 has officially kicked off and what a way to start! ๐Ÿš€ The break's over, the boots are back on, the scales are firing, and everyone's opening a fresh account for the new campaign. New signings, renewed rivalries, comeback stories, and a whole new season of drama stretched out in front of us. Massive well done to every single player for showing up and giving it absolutely everything from match one!

โญ๐ŸŒŸ TEAM OF THE WEEK! ๐ŸŒŸโญ
A HUGE opening TOTW to kick off Season 12! Martin G takes the captain's armband with an INCREDIBLE 17.7kg loss โ€” reflecting his weight change since his last weigh-in at the end of Season 10 after a lengthy spell away from the league. What a way to mark your return, big man! ๐Ÿ’ช The rest of the XI's numbers are the difference from their final Season 11 weigh-ins โ€” Andy (3.3kg), Greg A (3.0kg), Josh C (2.2kg), Chopper (2.2kg), Liam Cairns (1.9kg), Ash (1.4kg), Gregor M (1.3kg), Neil (1.2kg), Jacko (1.1kg) and Doug (1.0kg). Eleven brilliant performances to kick off Season 12 โ€” take a bow, lads! ๐Ÿ‘

โš–๏ธ๐Ÿ“‰ TOP WEIGHT LOSS LEAGUE ๐Ÿ“‰โš–๏ธ
Ten players open their Season 12 accounts with a point each โ€” Martin G, Greg A, Andy, Liam Cairns, Josh C, Chopper, Ash, Neil, Gregor M and Jacko all off the mark! With everyone level on points, the order is decided on percentage of weight lost, and it's Martin G who takes top spot early thanks to that huge % drop. And who's right behind him? None other than Season 11 Top Weight Loss League winner Greg A โ€” the man is showing no signs of slowing down! Brilliant opening week from the front-runners.

๐Ÿƒโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’ช TEAM WEIGHT LOSS LEAGUE ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿƒโ€โ™‚๏ธ
Flaberdeen come flying out the blocks in Season 12, leading the way early with 7 points! Fatburn Rovers on 5, Ivory Toast on 4, Rapid Viennetta on 3, Bayern Bru, OB City and Scrandinavia all level on 2, and Parmesan Belgrade on 1. A fresh table, everyone back to zero, plenty of season to come โ€” keep pushing together!

๐Ÿฅ‡๐Ÿ… POTS (PLAYER OF THE SEASON) ๐Ÿ…๐Ÿฅ‡
An early four-way tie at the top on 8 points โ€” James W, Wayne, Liam S and Josh C all off to flying starts with a MOTM performance in their opening appearance! A six-way tie on 5 points sits just behind: Taylor, J. Campbell, Paul Stewart, Liam Cairns, Neil and Ethan Park all making their early marks. This one is WIDE open from the start!

๐Ÿซ๐Ÿ‘Ÿ GOLDEN CHOCOLATE BOOT (MVP) ๐Ÿ‘Ÿ๐Ÿซ
Defending Season 11 Golden Chocolate Boot winner Stevie G shares the early Season 12 lead with Lewis Fer โ€” both on 4 goals from their opening week! J. Campbell, Gareth, John R, Liam Cairns and Ross H all on 3, with Doug, Martin G and Chris rounding out the top 10 on 2 each. Fresh season, fresh boot race, all to play for!

๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ† EARLY SHOCKS AT THE TOP! ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘‘
The Season 12 table is already throwing up surprises! Bayern Bru top the standings with 7 points, level with Parmesan Belgrade โ€” both starting on brilliant 2W 1D runs. Defending champions Fatburn Rovers have stumbled to 6th on just 3 points after opening-week losses to Bayern Bru (5-3) and Parmesan Belgrade (5-2). Season 11 runners-up Scrandinavia sit ROCK BOTTOM on 1 point after a rough opener โ€” how the tables have turned! A totally different look to how Season 11 finished โ€” everyone is out to lay down a marker early.

๐Ÿ“Šโšฝ MATCH RESULTS & STANDINGS โšฝ๐Ÿ“Š
What an opening week of Season 12! Bayern Bru's brilliant week saw them beat Fatburn Rovers 5-3, edge O.B City 3-0 and draw 2-2 with Scrandinavia. Parmesan Belgrade matched them stride for stride with 4-2 over Scrandinavia and 5-2 over Fatburn Rovers plus a 1-1 draw with Rapid Viennetta. Ivory Toast's 5-0 win over Flaberdeen was another headline result โ€” with Flaberdeen bouncing back to edge Scrandinavia 4-3 in a thriller. Fatburn Rovers did open with a 5-1 win over Flaberdeen, and O.B City hit Rapid Viennetta 4-0. The league is properly WIDE open early!

The Early Top 3 Standings:
Bayern Bru top on 7 points (+5 GD), Parmesan Belgrade 2nd on 7 points (+5 GD), Ivory Toast 3rd on 4 points (+4 GD).

That's a wrap on Week 1 of Season 12! A brilliant opening week and the perfect start to what promises to be another cracking season. Massive thank you to every single player for showing up and putting in the graft โ€” on the pitch and on the scales. Fresh season, fresh start, everything to play for! Keep going, keep believing, and we'll see you next week! For full stats, fixtures, league tables and live player tracking, head over to ๐Ÿ‘‡

๐ŸŒ fatfives.football

29/08/2026

๐ŸŽฌ STEVIE G JUST ENDED THE COMPETITION FOR GOAL OF THE SEASON ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ”ฅ
๐Ÿ“ Everyone else can go home ๐Ÿ˜‚ Stevie G with an overhead kick so outrageous we had to watch it back three times just to believe it ๐Ÿ˜ค Eleven seasons of Fat Fives and we have never seen anything like it ๐Ÿ† Someone get this man a trophy ๐Ÿ‘‡
๐ŸŽฅ Full highlights: https://www.youtube.com/

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