Optima Attachment Training Ltd

Optima Attachment Training Ltd I'm Jo Oxley, a BACP Accredited Psychotherapist/Counsellor with over a decade of experience.

Empowering Counsellors and Psychotherapists with Award Winning CPCAB Level 5 and Level 7 ‘Attachment Training’ | CPD Attachment Based Retreats for Therapists | Couples Therapy Retreats to Pause, Reflect and Reconnect I specialise in Attachment Psychotherapy, addressing relational issues, postnatal depression, and more. Offering both individual and couples counselling, I provide a safe, confidentia

l space for your healing journey. Supporting your mental well-being with compassionate and professional care. 🌟

Specialising in individual and couples counselling, including attachment therapy, postnatal depression, and relational challenges. 🌿
BACP Accredited Psychotherapist with over 10 years of experience. 💬

📞 07535 295 556 | ✉️ [email protected]
💻 www.optimahealthservices.co.uk

Your journey to healing starts here. 💙

Something changes as you become more experienced as a therapist.You know more, certainly. You’ve sat with more clients, ...
30/08/2026

Something changes as you become more experienced as a therapist.

You know more, certainly. You’ve sat with more clients, made mistakes, learnt from them, taken difficult work to supervision and gradually developed much more trust in yourself.

But strangely, experience can also make you more aware of how much there still is to think about.

The work gets more complex.

You might begin supervising other therapists and realise how different that responsibility feels. Couples bring two attachment systems into the room rather than one. Trauma work asks different things of us again.

And sometimes there simply isn’t an obvious “right” clinical answer.

That was really the thinking behind our Level 7 Diploma.

I didn’t want to create another course that simply gave experienced therapists more information. I wanted something that would stretch the way they think and work.

So Level 7 brings together attachment-informed supervision, couples therapy, advanced trauma and applied clinical research.

Four quite different areas, but all asking the same underlying question:

How do we continue developing when we’re already experienced practitioners?

Our next cohort starts this September.

🗞️ A special edition of The Optima Times… because a normal congratulations post didn’t feel quite enough.We are so pleas...
29/08/2026

🗞️ A special edition of The Optima Times… because a normal congratulations post didn’t feel quite enough.

We are so pleased to share that Georgina Sturmer has achieved senior accreditation.

This one feels particularly special to us because we have had the privilege of watching Georgina’s journey from Optima Level 5 student, to Level 7 student, to Optima tutor.

Today, alongside her own clinical practice, Georgina is a supervisor and lecturer, regularly contributes her expertise to national media, hosts episodes of our Attach Together podcast — and teaches the next generation of attachment-based practitioners on the very Level 5 course she once completed herself.

There’s something rather lovely about that full circle.

We talk a lot at Optima about training being more than gaining another qualification. We want it to change what happens in the therapy room, deepen confidence and clinical thinking, and open up possibilities for where therapists might take their practice next.

Georgina’s journey is a wonderful example of just how far that development can go.

So we’ve raided the newspaper archives (well… sort of) and given her achievement the front-page treatment it deserves.

Have a flick through our Georgina Sturmer Special Edition. 🗞️💜

And Georgina, from all of us at Optima - huge congratulations. We couldn’t be prouder of you.

PS. We have checked and senior accreditation still does not get you out of marking. Sorry. 😂

28/08/2026

I meet lots of therapists who already know a fair amount about attachment.

They understand secure, avoidant and preoccupied strategies. They know our early relationships shape what we expect from later ones. They can often recognise attachment patterns in their clients too.

And then comes the harder bit.

What do I actually do with that understanding in the room?

If a client pulls away when the relationship deepens, do I give them space or gently stay with it?

If someone needs constant reassurance, what happens when reassurance never seems to land?

And what do I make of the fact that I feel completely different with this client than I do with most of the people I work with?

For me, this is where attachment training becomes really interesting.

It stops being something we know about the client and starts helping us understand what is happening with the client.

That gap between knowing the theory and actually being able to work through an attachment lens is one of the reasons I created the Level 5 Diploma.

Our next cohort begins this September.

Have you ever reached that point with a client where you feel as though you’re going round in circles?You’ve understood ...
27/08/2026

Have you ever reached that point with a client where you feel as though you’re going round in circles?

You’ve understood the history. You’ve taken it to supervision. You’ve tried approaching things differently.

And yet somehow you both keep ending up back in the same place.

It’s very easy at that point to start wondering what else you should be doing.

But sometimes I think we need to ask a different question.

What if the feeling of being stuck is actually part of the work?

Perhaps moving forward brings the client closer to something that doesn’t yet feel safe. Perhaps the same pattern that happens in other relationships is beginning to happen between you. Or perhaps you notice yourself doing more and more of the work — reassuring, encouraging, trying to move things along.

Attachment gives us a way of becoming curious about those moments rather than simply trying to get past them.

Instead of only asking, “What should I do next?”, we can begin asking, “What is happening between us here?”

And sometimes that changes everything.

It’s exactly the sort of thinking we develop on our Level 5 Diploma. Our next cohort starts this September.

One of the things we are playing with for the retreat is how to invite reflection without turning everything into a theo...
26/08/2026

One of the things we are playing with for the retreat is how to invite reflection without turning everything into a theory lesson.

Ideas such as the Johari Window are useful because they remind us that there are always parts of ourselves we know well, parts other people may notice before we do, and parts that are still a little outside our awareness.

But I do not want us sitting around filling in boxes.

Instead, we can take the idea underneath it and weave it into the creative work.

A prompt might invite you to notice what you show easily, what you tend to keep tucked away, what feels familiar, or what catches you slightly by surprise as you create.

You do not need to know the model.

You do not need to interpret what you make.

And there certainly will not be a test afterwards.

The point is simply to create enough space for something to become noticeable.

Sometimes reflection begins with a thought.

Sometimes it starts with a colour, an image, a word you nearly did not choose, or the thing you suddenly realise you have left out.

26/08/2026

When a client takes responsibility for everyone else’s emotions, what do you see?

A people pleaser?

A rescuer?

Someone who finds boundaries difficult?

Or do you find yourself wondering what made that way of relating necessary?

It is easy to describe the behaviour. The more useful work often begins when we look underneath it.

Some children learn very early that connection feels safer when everyone else is settled.

They become highly tuned in to the emotional atmosphere around them.

They notice the change in someone’s voice.

They sense tension before anything is said.

They step in quickly, smooth things over and make themselves easy to be around.

They become the capable one. The helpful one. The child who causes no trouble.

Not simply because that is their personality, but because it may have helped them preserve connection.

Seen through an attachment lens, people pleasing is not just a poor boundary or an unhelpful habit.

It may be an intelligent response to a relationship in which the child learnt that their own safety depended on keeping others emotionally regulated.

That understanding changes the questions we ask in therapy.

Rather than moving too quickly towards:

“How can I help this client stop people pleasing?”

We might ask:

“What did this client have to become in order to stay connected?”

“What happens inside them when someone else is disappointed?”

“What do they fear might happen if they stop taking care of everyone?”

“And how might this begin to unfold between us in the therapy room?”

This kind of thinking takes us beyond naming patterns and towards understanding the attachment experiences that shaped them.

It is central to the work we explore on our Level 5 Attachment-Based Practice course.

The course is designed for therapists who want to strengthen their clinical thinking and become more confident in understanding the protective strategies and relational dynamics their clients bring into therapy.

Attachment training is not simply about learning styles or categories.

It is about becoming more able to make sense of what is happening in the room — and why.

If you are ready to deepen your attachment-informed practice, explore our Level 5 Attachment-Based Practice course.

What do we actually mean when we say Level 5 can change the way you work?I think Francoise describes it beautifully:“I f...
25/08/2026

What do we actually mean when we say Level 5 can change the way you work?

I think Francoise describes it beautifully:

“I feel more attuned, more confident in my clinical decision-making, and more compassionate - both towards my clients and towards myself as a practitioner.”

That is really what I hoped this training would do when I created it.

Not just give therapists more theory to know.

I wanted them to have a way of making sense of what they're seeing in the therapy room. To understand the behaviour that can otherwise feel confusing. To notice what's happening in themselves as well as in their client.

And, over time, to feel more confident trusting what they're noticing.

Francoise described the training as profoundly transformative both personally and professionally, and feedback like this still means an enormous amount to me.

Our next Level 5 cohort begins this September, and we still have a few places available.

Would you know if you were beginning to burn out?Wendy Widdrington thought she would.Except when Phil Pinchen once gentl...
25/08/2026

Would you know if you were beginning to burn out?

Wendy Widdrington thought she would.

Except when Phil Pinchen once gently suggested that she might be experiencing some burnout, her reaction was more or less:

“No, I’m fine. I’m just tired.”

Which is slightly ironic, because Wendy and Phil had spent a significant amount of time researching attachment and burnout together during their Level 7.

That moment stayed with them.

And it became a useful starting point for this week’s episode of The Attached Together Podcast.

With Wendy in the host seat and Phil as her guest, they talk about what burnout can look like, but also what happens when attachment comes into the conversation.

If therapists are under pressure, do they keep striving and taking on more?

Do they become preoccupied with looking after everyone else?

Do they find it difficult to admit that they’re struggling?

Or do they become even more self-reliant and determined to cope alone?

Wendy and Phil also get into supervision, people-pleasing, feeling “frazzled”, losing our spark and the little changes that can tell us things are beginning to get out of balance.

One of the questions Wendy uses in supervision is:

What’s your work-joy ratio at the moment?

And another that sits at the heart of this episode:

What is your stress signature?

How would somebody who knows you well recognise that you were becoming stressed?

🎙️ Attachment & Burnout: Why Therapists Keep Going When They’re Running on Empty
🎧 New episode available from 7PM
🔗 Watch via the link in bio or listen on your usual podcast platform.
📘 CPD reflection pack and certificate available

What tends to be one of your own early warning signs?

24/08/2026

We can be very quick to judge the parts of ourselves we find frustrating.

The part that withdraws.

The part that overthinks.

The part that keeps people at a distance.

The part that says yes when we want to say no.

The part that feels the need to stay in control.

But what if, instead of asking, “Why am I like this?”, we became curious about what that response was originally trying to do for us?

Many of our protective strategies began for a reason.

They may have helped us stay connected, avoid conflict, manage rejection, cope with uncertainty or protect something that felt too vulnerable to expose.

They made sense somewhere.

The problem is not that we developed them.

It is that sometimes they continue long after the original situation has changed.

Curiosity gives us a little more room than judgement.

It lets us ask:

What was this protecting?
What did I need at the time?
What might I need now?

Understanding a defence does not mean we have to keep it forever.

But it is often much easier to loosen something once we have stopped fighting it.

24/08/2026

What if a secure base isn’t always a person? 🌿

For many of us, there are places in nature that we instinctively turn to when we need to feel calmer or more grounded.

For Darren, it’s the seaside. For you, it might be woodland, your garden or somewhere you’ve returned to again and again.

It raises a fascinating attachment question: can the natural world become something of a secure base for us?

And if it can, what happens when that world begins to feel threatened?

On 8th September at 7pm, Darren will be joined by Linda Cundy for our next FREE Optima Presents, exploring her latest book, Attachment, Climate Crisis and the Natural World.

They’ll be talking about attachment, our relationship with nature, climate anxiety, environmental loss and what these growing concerns may mean for children and young people.

It’s completely free and online, with time for your questions too.

🌿 Book your free place via the link.

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High Wycombe

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Tuesday 8am - 6:30pm
Wednesday 8am - 6:30pm
Thursday 8am - 6:30pm

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