09/06/2026
12 weeks ago and at this time of the evening, I was rushing to London to be bedside with my dying Mum. Holding her hand, stroking her hair, saying what I needed her to know, saying thank you for choosing me as her daughter, telling her how proud I am to have her spirit and kind heart. Such a seismic shift in my life, and a complex back story to process. There is a brutality to losing your Mum that I’m nonetheless grateful for - a shifting of priorities, a removal of self doubt and people pleasing, a fierce protectiveness over my heart ❤️ a wisdom earned through watching her take her last breath. A reverence for the great mystery of birth and death. And a reinforcement of my own purpose in this lifetime….to be a mother 🙏🏼
I’m working out who I am without her.
I’m seeing that grief and joy can exist at the same time.
I’m finding medicine in singing mantra with my harmonium and my little Cadi.
I keep saying “it is what it is” - because that is simply the truth. I feel her every single day in every single way, she’s in my heart, she’s in my bones, my cells, she’s in my smile 😊 she is me and I am her 💖