05/07/2026
DANGERS OF ASSUMPTION
A few months ago, I was invited to a programme at a school as the Guest Speaker.
When I entered the auditorium, I saw some guests I knew sitting at one corner. I went up to them and started to greet them one after the other.
I shook their hands, even with the ones I didn’t know, until I got to one guest. I didn’t know her, and when I extended my hand, she ignored it. After a few seconds, I withdrew my hand. All my thoughts were, “What nonsense?” I kept asking myself that question. I felt very embarrassed and angry —embarrassed for myself and angry at the man.
What was she feeling like? I thought. All those other guests accepted my greeting, and to my knowledge, I hadn’t done anything wrong. I gave her a very scornful look, greeted the remaining guests, and went to take a seat.
Even after I sat down, I was still upset. I kept stealing glances at the guest to see how she would react to other people.
And then I saw it… She was blind! Her eyes were open, but she couldn’t see at all. The other guests who came to greet her had to touch her first and then take her hand if they wanted to shake hands with her.
To my great surprise, she turned out to be my hidden protégé who deeply appreciated my lectures. I never knew she had come purposely because she was informed that I would be the guest speaker for that year’s programme. In fact, she was waiting to hear someone mention my name so she could stand and hug me.
When I heard this, my embarrassment tripled. I felt stupid —very stupid. I was still angry, but this time, I was angry at myself. I couldn’t even say a word to her until I got to the podium. My speech for that programme changed from “Recovery” to “The Danger of Assumption.”
Assumption Kills Like Poison
1. We Assume Instead of Validating
• Someone doesn’t pick our calls, we assume they’re avoiding us.
• Someone doesn’t give us money, we assume they’re stingy and wicked.
• Someone doesn’t call, hang out, or visit us as they usually do, we assume they no longer care.
We never pause to consider that they might be going through challenges.
2. Life is Diverse.
The issues of life are different for everyone. The person who promised you money might have encountered a financial crisis. The person who didn’t pick your call might have been in a meeting or too busy to respond.
Key Lessons
• Benefit of the Doubt: Make excuses for others.
• Verification Over Assumption: Always validate your thoughts before reacting.
• Immaturity Shows in Offence: Picking offence at every perceived wrong is childish and counterproductive.
Examples:
• Someone didn’t invite you to their wedding — you pick offence.
• They didn’t wish you a happy birthday— you pick offence.
• They didn’t like your Facebook post —you pick offence.
Remember
• Everyone has battles you’re unaware of.
• The people you need help from also need help themselves.
• Not everything is personal or intentional.
• Sometimes, people are just busy with their lives and struggles.
Grow Above Offences
• Manage disappointment and maintain relationships.
• Save yourself unnecessary grudges and preserve friendships you may need in the future.
• Learn to grow above, with, and despise offences...
