09/25/2026
✨ Things I absolutely do NOT care about as your massage therapist: ✨
🪒 You didn’t shave your legs.
Girl. I promise you I do not care about your three day old leg stubble. It is not going in my chart notes. And chances are my legs are worse (we’re going into winter over here) 😂
🦶 Your feet aren’t cute.
Dry heels? Calluses? Chipped toenail polish from June? Hand ’em over. I’ve seen feet before.
💤 You fell asleep and started snoring.
GOOD. That means I’m doing my job. 🙌🙌Get your nap 😴
🗣️ You talked the entire appointment.
Sometimes massage therapy is massage + unofficial life update hour, and honestly, I’m here for it. 😉
🤐 You don’t want to talk AT ALL.
Also perfect. Face down. Phone away. Pretend the outside world does not exist for the next 60–90 minutes.
😅 You make weird noises when I find a knot.
The gasp. The groan. The “WHAT IS THAT?!”
All completely normal. Sometimes it startles us both cause for real where did it come from 😉
💦 You’re sweaty.
You are under a blanket, on a heated table, while someone is actively working on your body. Sweat happens. I promise I will survive.
☀️Your skin is dry.
We live in Montana. We are ALL dry.
🤍 You have cellulite, stretch marks, scars, rolls, body hair, acne, or literally any other evidence that you are a human being.
I’m not looking at your body thinking about how it looks. I’m over here thinking, “Why is this trap trying to become an earring?” Every body deserves a massage I promise!
And PLEASE stop apologizing because you “should have come in sooner.”
You’re here now. That’s what matters. And I’m so glad you are here🫶🏼
Moral of the story: you do not have to shower right before your session, shave, exfoliate, lose weight, get a pedicure, or have your life together before you come see me. Let’s be honest most of the time I don’t have it together 😂
Just maybe don’t come directly from a 90 minute hot yoga without a shower. I do have some boundaries. 😉