Psychologist for Parenting

Psychologist for Parenting Helping parents accurately understand the meaning of their child’s behaviors and how to respond Dr. Z. Parent guidance with Dr. Z.

Parenting can be challenging and may leave you struggling to interact positively with your child. If you have experienced difficulty with your child’s transitions, temper tantrums, sleep and morning routine, or social skills you are not alone. Would you like to improve de-escalation skills when your child is having a temper tantrum or experiencing depression or anxiety? Would you like to learn how

to promote healthy self-caretaking behaviors while also setting appropriate limits and how to say no? Parent guidance can help provide insight into family dynamics that are interfering with relationships and effective communication. Dr. Zakalik has over 20 years of experience helping children and parents. The goal is to help parents accurately understand the meaning of their child’s behaviors and how to respond in an effective and growth promoting manner. helps parents improve the quality of their interactions, reduce conflicts, and respond constructively to challenges. is about looking at things differently and parenting in perspective. If you are ready to reduce conflict, learn practical parenting skills, and improve the parent-child relationship Dr. Z. invites you to reach out and make the first step toward positive change.

Honored to contribute to a thoughtful piece in The Wall Street Journal by Pamela Paul titled “What Will Happen When All ...
03/13/2026

Honored to contribute to a thoughtful piece in The Wall Street Journal by Pamela Paul titled “What Will Happen When All the Male Therapists Are Gone?”

The article explores the changing demographics of psychotherapy and the role male therapists can play for some clients.

An important conversation about how men engage with mental health care and what helps make therapy feel safe and accessible.

https://www.wsj.com/health/wellness/male-therapists-psychology-representation-a1650f62?st=BYyebu&reflink=article_copyURL_share

Psychology is increasingly a female-dominated profession. That may have implications for boys and men.

01/25/2026

Powerlessness, Fear, and Finding Agency: A Psychologist’s Reflection on the ICE Raids

By Michael Zakalik, Psy.D.

As a psychologist providing telehealth services to clients across the country, I have witnessed the emotional toll that recent ICE raids have taken on individuals and families. The reflections shared here are based on what I have been helping clients with during this difficult time. To be clear, no identifying or confidential information is included in this article. The themes discussed reflect shared human experiences and psychological patterns, not the details of any specific person.

I am writing this not to minimize the profound fear and injustice that many are experiencing, but to highlight the psychological impact these events have on both those directly affected and on the broader community. When people begin to feel unsafe walking to work or sending their children to school, it affects everyone’s sense of security, belonging, and trust.

Powerlessness and Hopelessness:

The emotions emerging right now, such as fear, anger, and helplessness, are understandable and reflect symptoms psychologists often associate with depression and anxiety. When clients describe ICE entering schools, backyards, or neighborhoods where children play, they are describing a world that no longer feels predictable. That unpredictability creates a deep sense of powerlessness.

In psychology, we talk about global thinking, when a person begins to believe that painful situations will last forever and that they exist everywhere. For many living in fear of these raids, that sense of danger feels constant and inescapable. The mind generalizes threat and anticipates harm even in moments that might otherwise feel safe. Over time, this can make it difficult to imagine a future or to trust that safety will return.

When Children See Fear Up Close:

The psychological effects also extend to children who are witnessing events they cannot understand. Families have described children seeing armed individuals walking around their neighborhoods, sirens blaring, and adults reacting with visible fear. Many children ask if the people with guns are coming into their house or yard.

It is important to remember that children process fear differently depending on their developmental age. Many younger children have a more concrete style of thinking. They do not interpret the news the way adults do. When they see violence on TV or hear adults speaking urgently, they may assume the danger is immediate and nearby. In other words, they might not hear, “This is happening somewhere else.” They may hear, “This is happening right here.”

That is why even brief exposure to frightening footage can quickly create a sense that danger is everywhere. It can show up as nightmares, physical symptoms like stomachaches, trouble sleeping, clinginess, or changes in mood and behavior. Adults, too, often struggle with sleep, frequently checking news reports, feeling the need to check locks repeatedly, and remaining hypervigilant even inside their homes. The line between external threat and internal safety begins to disappear, leaving everyone feeling unanchored.

When a child asks something like, “Are the people with guns coming to our house?” the most helpful response includes these three parts:
1. Validate their fear. You can say, “That was scary to see, and it makes sense you feel worried.”
2. Offer a calm and age-appropriate reality statement. You can say, “Right now, we are safe. The grownups are here with you and we are going to do everything to keep you safe.”
3. Return the child to something grounding and concrete. You can say, “Let’s focus on what we are doing today. We are home together, and you can always ask me questions.”
This type of response helps children feel heard without adding information that overwhelms them. It also teaches them that fear can be talked about and regulated, not avoided or intensified.

The Weight of Anxiety and the Memory of Powerlessness:

Adults are reporting rising levels of anxiety, difficulty concentrating, and a general feeling that life is spinning out of control. These are feelings many of us remember from the early days of COVID, when we faced a collective lack of control over health, work, and safety. In both moments, the external world became unpredictable, and internal regulation became harder to maintain.

When life feels uncertain, we often turn inward with the question: how do I continue to live and find meaning while the world around me feels chaotic? How do I take care of myself and others when I feel powerless?

Finding Meaning and Freedom Within:

The psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and the author of Man’s Search for Meaning, wrote that when external freedom is limited, the final freedom we have is how we respond. His work emerged from witnessing what happens to the human mind under extreme deprivation, uncertainty, and injustice, and what allows some people to endure without losing their humanity. He reminded the world that meaning can still be found even when hope feels stripped away. We may not be able to control large events, but we can control our reactions, our values, and the way we treat one another.

Finding purpose allows us to transform fear into something constructive. Acts of kindness, courage, and self care become forms of resistance against despair. It is through these actions that people reclaim a sense of inner freedom, even in times of external restriction.

If Not Everyone Is Free, Then No One Is Free:

The idea that if not everyone is free, then no one is free has echoed across generations. Civil rights leader Fannie Lou Hamer said, “Nobody’s free until everybody’s free.” Poet Maya Angelou reminded us that “none of us can be free until everybody is free.” Even earlier, Emma Lazarus, whose words are engraved on the Statue of Liberty, wrote that “until we are all free, we are none of us free.”

Across time and place, these voices remind us that freedom is not an individual possession; it is a shared condition. When members of our community live in fear of being taken away, when they feel unsafe in their homes or neighborhoods, that fear ripples outward. It touches everyone, even those who believe they are insulated from it.

This collective fear seeps quietly into the fabric of daily life. It breeds moral injury in those who witness injustice but feel powerless to stop it. It revives memories, personal, cultural, or ancestral, of dictatorships, surveillance, and secret police. These echoes stir something deep and ancient in the human psyche: the understanding that when fairness and safety erode for some, they begin to erode for all.

Freedom is not lost all at once; it frays at the edges, often where the voices are faintest. And when we fail to protect those edges, we find that the center cannot hold.

Reclaiming Agency in a World That Feels Out of Control:

Reclaiming a sense of agency usually starts smaller than people expect. Small, concrete actions remind the nervous system that you still have influence in your own life, even when the world feels unstable. That does not mean ignoring what is happening or staying silent. It means building enough steadiness inside your own system so you can respond with clarity instead of panic.

For many people, agency also means action. If it is safe and realistic to do so, channeling anxiety into purposeful involvement can be grounding. This might look like calling your representatives, supporting advocacy organizations, showing up to community meetings, donating, sharing accurate resources, or standing alongside people who are directly impacted. Collective action helps restore dignity, connection, and meaning, especially in moments when institutions feel unpredictable. Activism requires endurance, and endurance requires care.

At the same time, completing everyday responsibilities can restore steadiness and confidence, not because they erase the fear, but because they give your mind and body something real to hold onto. When the world feels unstable, structure becomes a form of emotional stability. Routines, appointments, balanced meals, movement, and connection with other people all support psychological regulation. These choices may seem simple, but they are powerful. They help you stay grounded in the life you are still living, and they protect the strength needed to keep showing up for what matters.

Practical Steps Toward Healing and Agency:

When the world feels overwhelming, the nervous system responds best to predictability, connection, and realistic control.

1. Keep structure in daily life. Maintaining routines helps reduce chaos and anxiety. Sleep, meals, and exercise should remain as regular as possible.

2. Stay informed, but notice when it turns into anxiety maintenance. There is a difference between being informed and repeatedly consuming the same information. At a certain point, watching the news over and over does not create clarity. It creates more fear. The nervous system begins to treat constant information as constant danger. Pay attention to the moment it shifts from “I am learning what is happening” to “I am feeding the anxiety.” When that switch happens, it is usually healthier to step back, set limits, and return to what you can control in your day.

3. Stay connected to others. Isolation worsens fear. Community support, friendships, and family time all strengthen emotional safety.

4. Create safety for children. Children need calm, simple language and reassurance. Limit exposure to frightening footage, especially for younger children who may interpret danger as immediate and nearby. Encourage questions and remind them that adults are there to keep them safe.

5. Name catastrophizing and global thinking. Notice when your mind shifts from “This is scary” to “Nothing will ever be safe again.” That kind of global thinking is a stress response, not a prediction. Gently bring yourself back to what is true today, what is within reach, and what you can do next.

6. Engage in civic life. Participate in democracy by voting, but also by learning about what you are voting for. Do the work to understand each issue and candidate rather than simply following what others support. Thoughtful participation creates long-term change.

7. Support fairness and collective freedom. When one group is targeted, the entire community is affected. Advocate for fairness and humanity in all spaces you occupy, whether at home, at work, or in your neighborhood.

8. Know when it is time to get help. If sleep collapses, panic increases, appetite disappears, or you feel emotionally flooded most days, support can make a real difference. Therapy can help you regain regulation, process fear, and rebuild a sense of stability and agency. You do not have to carry this alone.

Taking even one or two of these steps can make a difference. They restore a sense of agency and reinforce the idea that individual and collective action both matter. Healing requires effort, awareness, and compassion, but it begins with choice.

If this article resonates with you, I invite you to continue the conversation. Visit ZPsychology.com for resources on adult mental health and PsychologistforParenting.com for parenting and family tools. If you have ideas for future topics, I welcome them, because healing is something we build together.

Michael Zakalik, Psy.D.
ZPsychology.com | PsychologistforParenting.com
January 2026

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09/10/2024

Today is World Su***de Prevention Day

We’re facing an epidemic of loneliness that touches all of us. Despite being more connected than ever, many still feel isolated.

Technology can either deepen this disconnect or help us bridge it—it’s up to us to choose. Be intentional about your connections today. Use technology to call a friend or reach out to someone who may be struggling.

A small, intentional effort can make a big difference in someone’s life.

***deprevention

I recently shared this with my clinical supervisor, mentor and friend, Dr. Carla Beatrici. I sent it to show her how pow...
01/24/2024

I recently shared this with my clinical supervisor, mentor and friend, Dr. Carla Beatrici. I sent it to show her how powerful and helpful she has been throughout my career and continues to elevate and sharpen my clinical skills every week.

I share this to encourage everyone to have some type of coach in your life that continues to help you grow even after years and years and years of school and training. Everyone deserves quality support and the opportunity to continue to grow.

It not only helps you become you a better provider but also enhances your enjoyment of providing.

Renowned surgeon and TED speaker Atul Gawande on how coaches can help everyone become effective!

The "Worry Portfolio": Managing Your Mental Investments for a Healthier MindImagine your mind as a portfolio, where your...
11/20/2023

The "Worry Portfolio": Managing Your Mental Investments for a Healthier Mind

Imagine your mind as a portfolio, where your worries are the investments. Just like a savvy investor diversifies their assets to manage risk, it’s essential for you to balance your worries to navigate life with a healthier mindset. Too much focus on a single worry can lead to a domino effect of stress, lost productivity, health challenges and missed opportunities. Let's explore how to manage your "Worry Portfolio" effectively.

When Worrying Takes Over:

Meet Alex. A comment from a friend about Alex’s recent social media post has been nagging at them all week. The worry becomes all-consuming, eating into Alex’s focus at work and their personal life. The result? Deadlines slip by, and the stress piles up, leading to even more worry about the mounting consequences.

The Ripple Effect of Worry Concentration:

When you let one worry dominate your thoughts, other important aspects of life get less attention. Your health might take a backseat, or you might miss out on quality time with loved ones. It's like neglecting to water a plant because you're too focused on a single w**d.

Strategies for a Balanced Worry Portfolio:

Awareness is your ally. Start by noticing where your mental energy goes. Is it all into one basket of worry? Once you know your patterns, you can begin to redistribute your attention. Allocate time for problem-solving, but set limits. When you catch yourself over-worrying, gently remind yourself: "This is more than its share of my portfolio."

Diversifying with Light-Hearted Concerns:

Balance is key, and that includes lighter worries, too. It's perfectly okay to spend some time pondering over who will win the big game this weekend or speculating about the next twist in your favorite television series. These 'fun worries' can act as a counterweight to the heavier ones, giving your mind a much-needed break.

Mindful Management:

Your "Worry Portfolio" needs to be managed with intention. By diversifying the kinds of worries you entertain, you can mitigate the mental and emotional risks that come with stress. Remember, it's not about eliminating worry — it's about making sure it doesn't monopolize your valuable mental real estate.

As you read this, think about the different 'investments' you've made with your worries. Are some 'stocks' of concern taking up too much space? Maybe it's time for some portfolio rebalancing. Keep track of how you distribute your worries this week, and start making small changes towards a more balanced mental portfolio. Your mind, like any good investment, will thank you for the thoughtful management.

On this World Mental Health Day, in light of the deeply distressing events in the Israel-Palestine conflict and rising g...
10/10/2023

On this World Mental Health Day, in light of the deeply distressing events in the Israel-Palestine conflict and rising global concerns, many are searching for ways to process and respond.

Nature has always been a testament to resilience and adaptation. Animals in the wild encounter many storms, and their strategies for survival can offer insightful lessons. In my previously shared article (see below), 'Weathering Life: Lessons from Nature', I shed light on these remarkable natural strategies, drawing parallels to human capacities for coping and healing during challenging times.

As the world grapples with uncertainty, may we find strength in understanding and inspiration from the rhythms of nature. 🌿🌦️



Explore nature's remarkable strategies, from eagles to reindeer, in navigating storms and what they teach us about resilience and adaptation.

This week is National Su***de Prevention Week. I'm thinking of everyone who is struggling or knowing someone who is stru...
09/12/2023

This week is National Su***de Prevention Week. I'm thinking of everyone who is struggling or knowing someone who is struggling. Below is a list of emergency helplines within USA as well as international helplines:

EMERGENCY SERVICES WITHIN UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

National Su***de Prevention Lifeline: A confidential helpline providing 24/7 support for individuals in crisis or experiencing suicidal thoughts. Website: Su***depreventionlifeline.org, Phone: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)

Crisis Text Line: A free, 24/7 text-based crisis support service. Trained crisis counselors are available to provide assistance. Website: crisistextline.org, Text: HOME to 741741

National Domestic Violence Hotline: Offers support, information, and safety planning for individuals affected by domestic violence. Website: thehotline.org, Phone: 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) Helpline: Provides 24/7, free and confidential treatment referral and information service for individuals and families facing mental health or substance abuse issues. Website: samhsa.gov, Phone: 1-800-662-HELP (1-800-662-4357)

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Helpline: Offers information, referrals, and support for individuals and families affected by mental health conditions. Website: nami.org, Phone: 1-800-950-NAMI (1-800-950-6264)

Veterans Crisis Line: A helpline for U.S. military veterans in crisis, providing confidential support and assistance. Website: veteranscrisisline.net, Phone: 1-800-273-8255 (Press 1)

LGBTQ+ National Help Center: Provides a safe and confidential space for LGBTQ+ individuals to talk about various issues, including coming out, relationships, and mental health. Website: glbthotline.org, Phone: 1-888-843-4564

Eating Disorders Helpline: A helpline offering support, information, and resources for individuals affected by eating disorders. Website: nationaleatingdisorders.org, Phone: 1-800-931-2237

National Runaway Safeline: Provides support, information, and resources for runaway, homeless, and at-risk youth. Website: 1800runaway.org, Phone: 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929)

Crisis Chat: An online chat service that connects individuals in crisis with trained crisis counselors. Website: su***depreventionlifeline.org/chat/

INTERNATIONAL EMERGENCY SERVICES

International Su***de Hotlines: A comprehensive directory of su***de hotlines worldwide. Website: su***de.org/international-su***de-hotlines.html

Befrienders Worldwide: Provides emotional support worldwide through helplines and email support. Website: befrienders.org

Samaritans: Offers confidential emotional support for individuals in distress. The service is available in several countries. Website: samaritans.org

International Association for Su***de Prevention (IASP): Provides a list of helplines and crisis centers around the world. Website: iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres

Mental Health Europe Helplines: A directory of helplines in different European countries. Website: mhe-sme.org/

Lifeline International: A network of crisis helplines across different countries. Website: lifeline-intl.com

The Trevor Project: A U.S.-based organization providing crisis intervention and su***de prevention services to LGBTQ+ youth. However, their website provides resources for international users as well. Website: thetrevorproject.org

Kids Help Phone: A Canadian helpline for children and youth in distress. Website: kidshelpphone.ca

Beyond Blue: An Australian organization providing support for mental health issues, including a helpline and online chat. Website: beyondblue.org.au

Crisis Text Line (Canada): A free, 24/7 text-based crisis support service available to Canadians. Text: 686868

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