Lisa Happ Coaching

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Portsmouth, NH
Lisa Happ Coaching

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Trauma-Informed Divorce & Coercive Control Coach 🤍

11/01/2026

Maybe you’ve been so busy trying to save the life you planned that you haven’t had much time to think about the life you’d choose today. 🤍

10/30/2026

I was so pi**ed at my Starbucks app that morning.

Turns out, it may have been the most helpful technical malfunction of my entire career.

One $5 latte, a very loud phone conversation, and a divorce settlement that went VERY differently than someone had planned.

I still laugh thinking about the look on her face when she saw me at court.

Have an ass hat story of your own? Send me a DM! Your ass hat could be featured in our next Ass Hat of the Week.

Stories are shared anonymously, with identifying details changed. Starbucks **at

10/28/2026

A client recently told me her soon to be ex was being SO nice.

Bringing her coffee at pickup. Texting old pictures of the kids. Trying to hug her.

Now, this guy had been a complete ass hat throughout their divorce.

She was happy. “Maybe we can finally get along. Maybe we can even be friends!”

I wanted that for her him r, too.

But in the back of my mind I was thinking, Oh s**t. What’s this AH up to? 😂

Mediation was coming up, and the timing was VERY interesting.

So I kept my eyes open. We talked about it, and I mentioned that there might be a little more behind his sudden transformation into Mr. Wonderful.

Well, guess who showed up at mediation asking for something completely outrageous?

And guess who was SHOCKED when she said no?

Apparently, the coffees and cute pictures of the kids hadn’t worked quite as well as he’d hoped. 😂

When you’re dealing with someone who has a history of coercive control, sometimes it’s worth asking one simple question when they suddenly become your best friend.

What’s in it for them? What are they trying to get?

Because some people will happily play Mr. Wonderful for a few days if they think it’ll get them what they want.

10/25/2026

I love thinking about this. 🤍

There are people you haven’t even met yet who are going to become some of your favorite people in the world.

Trips you haven’t planned. Places you haven’t been. Nights you don’t want to end.

And moments you’ll wish you could go back and do all over again.

10/24/2026

“But I have proof. How can the judge not see what he’s doing?”

I hear this all the time from people divorcing someone who’s used coercive control for years.

They have the texts, the emails, the financial records. They’ve spent thousands on attorneys, and they’re waiting for the judge to finally see their ex for who they really are.

I get it. I really do.

But family court makes decisions about finances, parenting, assets, and support. It’s not designed to give you the kind of justice you’re hoping for.

Take the ex who refuses to return your kid’s sports equipment for the 80th time.

You know it’s not about the damn equipment.

It’s another excuse to contact you, make you angry, question your reality, or pull you into another argument. And when you react, suddenly YOU’RE the problem.

Of course you want someone to see that.

But the judge can’t show up at your ex’s house and make them pack the soccer cleats.

And please don’t mistake what I’m saying for “just let it go.”

I absolutely despise that advice, especially when someone is recovering from coercive control.

I’m talking about finding another way that doesn’t cost you another thousand dollars, another sleepless night, or another day consumed by your ex.

So here’s something I often ask clients.

What would justice look like if it didn’t depend on your ex finally being exposed?

Maybe it’s making decisions without fearing their reaction. Enjoying your kid’s game instead of watching your ex. Having money you can access without answering to anyone.

There are absolutely things worth fighting for in court.

But I don’t want you spending another five years waiting for your ex to get what’s coming to them.

There’s a whole lot of life you deserve to enjoy in the meantime.

Even if they never admit to a damn thing. **at

10/22/2026

Months of hiding money, dodging questions, and playing Mr. Nice Guy.

And what finally gave him away?

His inability to read a damn text without making the font Really HUGE.

I still laugh thinking about her sitting behind him at that baseball game with the biggest smile on her face.

But my favorite part is where she is today. Happy, free, and actually enjoying her life again. ❤️

Got an ass hat story of your own?

Your ass hat story could be featured as our next Ass Hat of the Week!

Send me a DM to learn how. Stories are shared anonymously, with details changed to protect privacy. **at

10/20/2026

Apparently I’m f ing scary. 😂

At least according to a client’s ex-husband.

So last week I went to court with a client who’s been dealing with coercive control and abuse for years.

We get off the elevator, and there he is. Sitting right there, staring at her.

And I could literally feel her whole body brace.

So I looked him straight in the eye and said to her, “Oh hey, didn’t you need to use the bathroom?”

Grabbed her arm, and off we went.

I looked back, gave him a smile, and kept walking.

Well, yesterday she tells me he was NOT a fan of mine.

Apparently I’m scary, mean, and have terrible energy.

He even asked why she needed a divorce coach instead of a marriage coach.

Sir, I think we are a little past that.

But you know what?

He didn’t come near her.

She didn’t have to deal with him trying to intimidate her before court.

And THAT is one of the reasons I go to court with my clients.

So thank you for the compliment. I’ll take scary any day. 😂

10/18/2026

Isn’t it kind of amazing that some of the best days of your life might still be ahead of you?

Some of the people who will mean the most to you are still strangers.
Some of the places you’ll love, you haven’t visited.
Some of your favorite memories haven’t happened.
It’s easy to forget all that when the future feels uncertain.
But uncertainty also means you haven’t seen all the good that’s coming. 🤍

10/16/2026

It’s such a simple question.

But you would be surprised how hard it can be to answer.

Especially when you’ve spent years thinking about how every decision will affect everyone else.

Will they be upset?
Will the kids be okay?
Will this cause another argument?
Is it easier to just go along with it?

And somewhere in all of that, what you want barely enters the conversation.

I see this with clients all the time.

Sometimes when I ask what they actually want, there’s a long silence.

Not because they don’t care.

Because it’s been a really long time since they gave themselves permission to even think about it.

What if you didn’t have to know the answer right away? What if you just started asking yourself the question?🤍

Address

Portsmouth, NH
03801

Website

http://www.lisahapp.com/, https://calendly.com/lisahapp/60min, https://divorce-detox.com/

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